A journey back to God – Homeward
Utter desolation
16/05/25
How the wind blows!
How the heat grows!
How evil festers!
Every delightful dish
Every mouthwatering speciality
Every tasty treat
Available from your fingertips…
And yet,
Not enough to feed
Not enough to quench
Not enough to save
Those babies.
Who has caused this famine?
Global warming?
Climate chaos?
Sometimes…
But this time,
Wolves remain unblemished
Waves of heat remain peaceful
Wisps of wind remain unchained
Our hands must be blamed.
Indifference
Carelessness.
Reckless hate
You and me
Them and us
All of us.
How can we eat?
How can we drink?
How can we waste?
When babies are silently dying of hunger.
Where are you my brother?
Where are you my sister?
Where am I lost?
Must our hands remain chained
Must our brains remain dazzed
Must our soul remain weighed
By our own lingering hell?
This greed inducing machine!
Unabling us to act righteously
Distracting us from thinking morally
Preventing us from feeling compassion.
If all the chaos settled
If all the roar faded
If all those screens dimmed…
I must believe that
We would stand as one
We would rise as one
We would cry as one :
Not in our name
Not in our watch
Not in our lifetime.
No more.
Didn’t we say it before?
Never again.
The wind scatter frail buds
The heat weakens old barks
Evil feasts deep from the roots.
Leaving desolation
Where a tall forest stood
Where a lush forest grew.
Where a deep forest grew.
Desolation.
Razed to the ground.
Bulddozed into dust.
Flatten beyond recognition.
Utter desolation.
Why do you ask me which tree?
All are linked
As we all are.
All are part of the world
As we all are.
All are spreading
As we all are.
One falls
And we all fall.
And yet,
I feed my baby until she sleeps.
I eat until my stomach is filled.
Even my cat is content…
While those babies starve,
In complete indifference.
True to my soul
17/04/2024
In this trouble world of
Constant noise
Constant delusion
Constant confusion
Selling this
Stealing that
Sealing us
Into beings that consume.
Into beings that are consumed.
By greed
By belongings.
By plastic.
In this world —-
Can you still listen to that melody?
Can you still listen to that song?
Can you still listen to that silence?
That only belongs to you.
A song,
A hymn
A sign.
None but you can hear it.
None but you can decipher it.
None but you can own it.
Own that voice,
As it lingers
As it grows
As it flies…
Beyond your reach.
Beyond their reach
Beyond…
Honor it.
Enrich it.
Believe it.
It’s your own treasure.
It’s your own essence.
It’s your own scent.
Some may hear echoes
of their own heartbeat.
Some may see shadows
of their own selves.
Some may breathe hints
of their own breath.
And in this invisible web
we are connected.
And in this ethereal web
we are connected.
And in this timeless web
we are connected.
In your breath
In my breath
We are connected.
In our presence
In our authenticity
In our oneness.
Far from the turmoil
Far from the torments
Far from the torrents
of modernity.
of monstrosity.
of mummery.
We remain true to ourselves.
You remain true to your heart.
I remain true to my soul.
Together again
07/04/24
There is an open gate
Waiting for you
There is a softer path
Waiting for you
There is a blooming garden
Waiting for you.
For every angry word
I plant thornless roses.
For every bruise on your heart
I plant a deeply rooted tree.
For every day without the warmth of your heart
I plant a fragrant bush.
The pain that boils over
This anger that burns over
The betrayal that rots over
All over those memories
All over those ties
All over those paths
Turning a garden into a furnace.
Wild fires raging through.
Turning an open palm into a fist.
Oil spilling over the ocean.
Turning a healing word into an accusation.
Nuclear waste seeping into the earth.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Let the fires die down.
Let pride melt away.
Let your heart open…
Into that luxuriant garden,
That I know.
Into that balmy sun beam,
That I have always known.
Into that dawn chorus,
That I shall always know.
Beyond the veils of a hurt ego.
Beyond the roar of a broken pride.
Beyond the huffing of an unsure heart.
There is a presence.
There is a heart.
There is a boy…
Whose laughter always invite my own.
I shall wait,
Until ashes give way to saplings.
I shall wait,
Until the waste gives way to cornflowers.
I shall wait,
Until the uproar gives way to peace.
The gate will remain open.
The path will remain thornless.
The garden will remain blooming.
And our hands will meet again.
And our laughter will mingle again.
And our hearts will burrow together again.
Together again.
Let spring raise the forest once more.
Let the birds nest in the forest once more.
Let hope echo in birdsongs once more.
It’s a promise,
It’s a plea,
It’s a prayer.
Together again.
My step never faltering
All my songs are about the path All my sighs are about the path All my steps are on this path Whirling Winding Wandering Seasons flitting by Years rushing by Faces fading by My step never faltering. Smiling, as I say goodbye. Teary eyed, as I say welcome. Breathless as I grow new lungs. Ever changing Ever breathing Ever growing. Dear brother Dear sister Dear friend Are you close? Are you here? Are you lost? I can still hear you. My step never faltering I cannot linger I cannot wander I cannot turn back. They told me in a dream They told me in a song They told me in a story About the dangers of turning back. And yet, I keep your words in my heart. I keep your smiles in my heart. I keep your heartbeat in my heart. This new home I build This new life I weave. This new path I cleave. I carry it on my back. It carries me on its back. A home that grows with me. A home that walks with me A home that changes with me. My step never faltering. Your echoes guide me Your echoes gladden me. Your echoes call me. Will you forget me? Will I forget you? Will we cross path again? I hope I pray I know In this world or the next, Kindred souls Loving souls Compassion souls Always find each other again. On we go On and on we go. Our steps never faltering.
Real
03/09/23
Give me some absence to feel your presence. Give me some distance to feel your presence. Give me some silence to feel your presence. But you are so thirsty But you are so hungry But you are so lonely You’d swallow me whole In a gulp In a bite In a swirl. Holding so tightly Keeping so tightly Clinging so tightly That I become dust. I was once crimson flames I was once gushing rains I was once bursting chains I was once mesmerized I was once capsized I was once electrified Divine anguish Dizzying euphoria Horrifying crash Burn Burn into ashes. It was easier to love It was easier to cherish It was easier to hold When I couldn’t hold When I couldn’t be held. From afar From a distance From another galaxy So much easier to love Perfection Apparence Surface Less dangerous Less perilous Less real… And now reality engulfed me. And now love beholds me. And now truth encounters me. Not as polished Not as perfect Not as phony Real. Raw Boring Frazzled Real. One knock Another knock And here we come… To another land Too tangible Too overwhelming Too fleshy To only dream To only read To only admire. Real. Like a ring on your finger. Real. Like a hand on your hand. Real Like a laugh mingled with your laugh.
Speck of Dust
31/08/23
Time can erase Canyons of anguish Time can ease Valleys of sadness Time can appease Oceans of loss. How easily each continent forgot… The wear and tear, The erupting crust, The burning forests. After all, Nothing is created Nothing is lost Everything is transformed. From ashes, fuel. From fuel, fumes. From pain, wisdom. Forever spinning around the sun, Forever greeting the full moon, Forever clinging to this system. Forever until time… Holds still. Crashes down. Rises up. And we are free from this yoke. Seasons dance away. Days whirl away. Waves cower away. Only to return. And that thread remains, Doesn’t it? And that connection remains, Doesn’t it? And those memories remain, Don’t they? But what do they mean to you? But what do they mean to me? Ask the Grand canyon about How mighty used to be the Colorado river. Ask the Appalachians about How close was the Caledonian range. As the continents about How safe Pangea felt. Ages pass by Seconds trickle by. Lifetimes fade by. And what is left of those times of closeness? – That illusion – Scars like ridges, mountains and summits Dark circles like steep slope edges Shadows like volcanic ashes Spreading Scattering Fading Who remembers Tambora’s destruction, anymore? Other than the mountains, Other than the oceans Other than the fossils? Frozen in time. Stolen in time. Beholden in time. Yet, We are not set in amber. We are not buried in ashes. We are not covered in dirt. Our limbs are free, Our foliage is bright, Our sap is fast. We are given seasons. To live, To mourn To forget, To remember. To live, again. Renewed Transformed Reborn. But, What of the past? Those leftover of supernovas, Who create new solar systems. Those ashes of forgotten creatures, Who feed those ever growing trees. Those sunken mountains, Who harbor precious metals. Weaving the past into the future. Weaving the future back to the past. Interwoven Interlaced Interchanged. What will remain, tell me? Of those fleeting feelings – Of those lingering senses – Of those fading ghosts – What will be forgotten, tell me? I see you clearly now. A speck of dust. A melacnholy thistle. A dust of gold. Nothing much to hold but enough to speculate. And yet, Unforgettable. Wastelands Forgotten lands, Sinking lands. Let them vanish. Let a new world rise. Let a new days rise. Let a new star rise. So bright So warm So earnest Blinding us to the past.
Patience, my dear
22/08/23
They say summer will never end. They say this heat will never end They say this this wait will never end But I've seen my friendly robin. But I've heard my loyal robin. But I've felt my gentle robin He told me, Autumn is in the air. The flaking oak The drooping aspen The wilting hazelnut Have told me, Autumn is in the air. My tired limbs My heavy head My thirsty skin Have told me Autumn is in the air. And yet, This heat keeps on growing Like a baking pie Like a deadly disease Like a scalding punishment. Another almost cool dawn Another balmy morning Another sweltering afternoon. They call it a dome of heat Doomsday, rather. The grass is scorched The earth is scarred The forest is scattering… Limb after limb Leaf after leaf Tendril after tendril. Before a wildfire can reach them. Another not yet warm breeze before the roaring oven of afternoon. Don't forget, Water for the plants Water for our hands Water for the birds. Water, Every precious droplet, Like diamonds. Every healing drop, Like pearls. Every surviving moist, Like gold. This is our season of waiting, My love Soon, Autumn will come. Soon, The heat will subside. Soon, Our hands will be joined. Until then, We must cling to a cooling hope, We must cling to a shady rest. We must cling to a breezy prayer. That we may see the end of this scalding summer. That we may reach that next step of fulfillment. That we may reach that cabin in the woods. And pray, The fire doesn't reach us. Impatience doesn't mislead us. Fatigue doesn't overwhelm us. Patience, My dear.
The trapped civilization
02/08/23
The illusion of choice Bright colorful shops One after the other Smiling made up faces One after the other. Glossy well arranged food One after the other. The variety The quantity The avidity That hunger that leads all humans More More And more. Faster Faster And faster. Stronger Stronger And stronger. Worshiping those Who sell. Sanctifying those Who endorse. Idolizing those Who promote. With their fat salaries And our insatiable desire And our insatiable need And our insatiable hunger. For what we don't truly need. And those pits of unsold clothes. And those pyres of unsold cars. And those pyramids of unsold trash. Gathering Dust. Gathering Ashes. Gathering Flies. How much waste can on our enlightened civilization create? Giving up even our name For a bargain. Giving up even our children For attention. Giving up even our integrity For possession. Consuming us… Since those first mills Since those first factories Since those first slavehouses. Our civilization of human rights… Built on fabric made by modern day slavery. Hidden Far off Far away. I know, You know, We all know. But just need to get it. Ignorance is bliss. Bliss is possession. Possession is salvation. All bow to the lord of cryptocurrency. There isn't much time left For the poet's lament For the writer's warning For the mystic's dream AI will soon make it better. Make us forget our painfully slow brains. Make us forget our painfully aging bodies. Make us forget our painfully boring lives. All hail the birth of a new deity. Who will win? Our personal idols of unspoken needs? Our common idol of coins, bills and virtuality? Our new arrificial sexless ageless genderless perfection intelligence? Have we finally found eternity? Alas, We shall fall in this trap. We shall settle in this cage. We shall exist in this illusion. Forgetting Every day more Every breath more Every image more Our Creator Our Destination Our Solace. And yet, never be unforgotten in His Presence. It doesn't cost Your money Your body Your baby To just be… in His Presence.
The return of the gardener
02/08/23
The wolves are back. Roaming Perusing Owning Knowing no borders. Lock your doors, Close your shutters, Draw your curtains, And let them roam… As that brave soul steps into a new world. Beyond the sea Beyond the mountains Beyond the woods How far he has walked. Never to turn back Never to run back Never to look back. It's destiny; Written in that Book Written in that hand Written in that horizon. That land he has crossed into That land he has been invited into That land he has set camp into Was once so lush Was once so green Was once so fragrant. Oh so very wild! Oh so very pure! Oh so very fresh! A sight to behold! A sight to cherish! A sight to protect! Vulnerable Free Pristine. But it was discovered… By the wrong eyes. By the wrong heart. By the wrong hands. Pillaged. Emptied. Sullied. Until that magical kingdom was bereft of its beauty. The invaders left The usurpers left The pirates left. Autumn covered the earth Winter swept through the woods Spring sprinkled the fields Summer flourished across the orchards. Once Twice. Will they return? Fear in the mist Ghosts in the marshes Memories in the ponds. A newcommer. A wayfare A stranger Will he destroy? The land was quiet. The kingdom was bare. The fields were waiting. Tendrils after tendrils Pebbles after pebbles Drops after drops He gave new life to this silent land. No conqueror here A gardener A tender A protector Of all this is fair Of all that is pure Of all that is gold.
Lest my heart drowns
21/02/23
There is a balance in nature There is a balance in my heart There is a balance in our existence Today, I sowed a bulb I discarded dead leaves. Today I cast off a dream I planted a prayer. Today, We trembled with deadly anguish We took a deep calming breath. How does the world not collapse? When there is so much joy? When there is so much horror? When there its so much magma? Bubbling and breaking through Burning and seeping through Melting and rising through Breaking the crust of the earth Breaking the hearts of humans Breaking the heart of cities And leaving only rubbles And leaving only silence And leaving only dust And terrible cold And terrible hunger And terrible wounds Will they ever heal? My heart shivers My soul rises My thoughts stagger And yet, here I am… In a peaceful land In a yet standing house In a thriving city. What will happen tomorrow? Only the Creator knows Only the Destructor knows Only the Transformer knows. He, Who gives us life. He. Who takes us back. He. Who changes our state. My loss are but pebbles to theirs. My pain is but a shadow to theirs My longing is but a whisper to theirs. How can I complain? And yet, He litens. And yet, He gibes. And yet. He guides. He is always here. And none of my words can express And none of my words can encompass And none of my words can capture Who He is. Even the words I use now Even the pronouns I use now Even the attributes I use now Are limited. And I call myself a poet… How can I express what my souls see? How can I express what my heart perceives? How can I express what my mind cannot touch? Do you hear Him Do you feel Him Do you see Him In my words? Or are they just empty utterance Or are they just clever delusions Or are they hollow sentiments Do they mean something? And yet I try… To draw from the well of my soul To call from the depth of my heart To reach beyond the limits of my being To find some balance. And with words, Create a rhythm Create a lullaby Create a litany To keep me sane. To keep me calm To keep me balanced. Lest my heart drowns me in despair.
Layla Ali Sultan 