Deep rust dew,
Light golden sunbeam,
Soft pitter patter.
Haven’t I told you before?
I am not from this world.
I am not for this world.
I merely exist here.
The bridge I left behind
Fell apart as I stepped on it.
Dissolved as I stepped on it.
Blew away as I stepped on it.
I leaped over the abyss
I flew over the abyss
I rose over over the abyss.
The bridge in front of me
Is already wobbling.
Is already fading.
Is already whining.
I wish you were strong enough to catch me
I wish you were strong enough to hold me.
I wish you were strong enough to follow me.
Through the muddy path,
Over the sharp ridges,
Under the thick mossed earth.
Leaning over that void
Where you once stood.
Leaning over that well,
Where you once spoke.
Leaning over that crevasse
Where you once beckoned me.
I scatter pearls and feathers,
I scatter petals and ashes,
I scatter smoke and tears.
But I already know that it’s in vain.
So I turn around,
I turn left,
and keep on turning left.
Until I find a whiff of
Myrrh
Frankincense
Roses.
and I find the stairwell,
and I find the base camp,
and I find the holy cave.
Where I can truly hear.
Where I can truly speak.
Where I can truly connect.
… And at last be understood.
Dear sparrow,
So gentle,
So constant,
So chatty.
I listen to you.
You listen to me.
Neither is understood.
I see you plunge into the fountain
Flap around your wings.
I see you plunge your beak,
Drink your fill.
How brave,
How endearing,
How beautiful.
But I am no bird…
What am I?
I look deep into that chasm,
I look deep into that smoke,
I look deep into that well,
And try to find an echo of me.
An apple tree,
An apple blossom,
An apple seed.
Nothing more.
A nurturing creature,
A loving heart,
And a promise to keep.
Find my shoots in spring,
Find my flowers in summer,
Find my fruits in autumn,
Find my bare core in the winter.
Ever glowing
Ever growing,
Ever giving.
But never yours.
I belong to the seasons,
I belong to the sunshine,
I belong to the rainfall.
I belong to the thick and rich soil.
I belong to the soft and warm sun.
I belong to the vigorous and living sap.
But foremost…
From my ever growing roots,
Through my solid core,
To my ever growing fruits,
I belong to
The One who created me.
The One who nourished me.
The One who protected me.
and to Whom I will return.
Listen to the bee,
Smell the winter jasmine,
Hold the fallen acorns.
It is not winter yet.
and yet, it will return.
How thin the veils between the worlds are.
How soft the voices calling to each other are.
How persistant the souls drawn to each other are.
Kismet.
Come, come closer…
Perhaps these woods are not haunted.
Perhaps that crone is not evil.
Perhaps that path isn’t thorny.
Come, come closer…
Maybe I am wrong.
Maybe you are right.
Maybe…
Come, come closer…
Perchance, this cabin isn’t an illusion.
Perchance, this roaring fire isn’t a dream.
Perchance, this embrace isn’t a fantasy.
Destiny?
When the leaves fall,
One by one.
When the squirrels gather nuts,
One by one.
When the birds leave,
One by One.
I cannot see clearly.
The mists.
I cannot think clearly,
The bogs.
I cannot understand clearly,
The sunsets.
So short,
So short is a day.
So far,
So far we must go.
Will you follow me?
You see
You were the spark
You were the scent
You were the silk
In my words.
From an acorn came a tale.
From a tale came a story.
From a story came an oak.
Under its shade,
I found peace.
I found solace
I found another spark,
Can you feel these deep roots?
Can you feel this thick bark?
Can you feel this rich foliage?
It is not you doing.
It is not your gift.
It is not yours.
Those are my words.
Those are my stories.
Those are my songs.
This is my oak tree.
Mine.
After you left,
It was my shelter
It was my home.
It was my ladder.
It led me to other stories
It led me to other discoveries.
It led me back home.
To my Creator.
You were but a breeze
You were but a gust of wind.
You were but a breath.
Long ago,
Long gone.
Gone.
Thank God.
Your roots didn’t go deep enough.
Your arms were not strong enough.
Your heart was not wild enough.
To follow mine
Through the waves
Through the crags
Through the vales.
You didn’t even try.
I must
Face the well.
Face the pond.
Face the mirror
And see what truly is here.
The stars,
The ebb,
Myself.
Alone.
Flesh, blood and alone.
Heart, lungs and alone.
Soul, dreams and alone.
Alone.
Not quite, not quite.
There’s a thrill from that branch,
There’s a flutter from within me,
There’s a breath from far beyond.
I am never truly alone.
The finches on that branch,
The robin in my heart,
The bird of paradise in the horizon,
Simurgh
That calls me through the path
That calls me through the marshes
That call me through the mists
Back home.
Home, where is home?
To the endlessly wandering soul
To the utterly lost wild woman,
To the irresistibly inspired poet
Home is the Source and the Destination,
Home is the ever twisting clearway.
Home is the forest of inspiration.
That glowing window,
That warm alcove,
That gentle aroma.
You will never see it.
and I will never see you again.
Keep the golden blessings,
Keep the copper feelings,
Keep the silver yearnings.
Kindly
Peacefully
Absolutely.
As I retreat back
To my Refuge.
To my Source.
To my Light.
To return to the world,
With a brighter plumage,
With more colors in my feathers,
With a sweeter and deeper song.
In a wild and enchanted forest,
On a solid oak treel,
On a gentle twig,
Far far away from you.
Is it autumn or is it me?
Is it november or is it you?
Is it the storm or is it my soul?
I can’t remember my name.
I can’t remember my destination.
I can’t remember my home.
Grey walls,
Dusty windows,
Dark wooden doors.
Where is the glowing hearth?
Where is the glimmering candle?
Where is the glittering song?
Birds chirp against the wind.
The sparrow and his brothers.
The robin and her brood.
The great tit and his clan.
Some will leave.
Some will stray.
Some will remain.
Up, up on the branches.
Far, far in the horizon.
Deep, deep in the forest.
Leaving me to my shrubs,
Leaving me to my doorstep,
Leaving me to my hearth.
Without a song….
To lull me.
To wake me.
To light me up.
Like the matches the little girl wasted.
My fingers are twisted in pain,
My head is full of decaying leaves.
My legs are heavier than stones
So heavy,
So heavy
I could sink to the bottom of
The pond.
The lake
The ocean.
Will I rise again like the skeleton lady?
Will I rise again like foamy waves?
Will I rise again like a phoenix?
It doesn’t matter if I’m too tangled for love.
It doesn’t mater if I’m a prisoner of this cycle.
It doesn’t mater if I became ashes to come back.
The dull pain,
The weighty loneliness,
The never-ending labyrinth
Nothing matters as long as I have
My wits
My wings
My words.
If I can write a line.
If I can weave a tale.
If I can stitch up another life.
It is all worth it.
Dear,
Don’t wait in the forgotten street.
Don’t wait in the never-ending night.
Don’t wait in the pouring rain.
I am not here.
I never was.
You saw a star in the distance.
You saw a glimmer in the distance.
You saw a shadow in the distance.
And you chased it all the way down here.
Mistaking me for your destiny.
Mistaking me for your last hope.
Mistaking me for the answer to your prayers.
But I am only a woman.
Chasing her own star.
Chasing her own destiny.
Chasing her own hope.
I have nothing to give anymore.
But,
Tatters.
Tears
And tales.
I gather
Dewdrops
Drops of anguish
Droplets of hope.
And I drink deep.
Like the trees after a draught.
Like an athlete after a feat.
Like a child after a long day.
Does it show in my eyes ?
Does it show in my fingertips ?
Doest it show in my stories?
The hope I try to sow.
The hope I try to grow.
The hope I try to flourish
Within me?
Was it this gleam
Was it this melody
Was it this sigh
That brought you here?
Take it,
The petals of inspiration,
The shimmer of creation,
The echoes of my poems,
Take it.
But let my sail
But let my song
But let my soul
Roving and free.
Roaming and free.
Rambling and free.
Free.
There’s a fairy who lives by an airfield.
There’s a witch who lives by a chemical lab.
There’s an elven maiden who lives by the recycling bins.
On that sidewalk, I always find feathers.
On that fence, I always find garlands.
On that curb, I always find silver cups.
Is it an offering?
Is it an appeasement?
Is it an ode?
To something
To someone
To some place
I cannot know about.
The forgotten nuclear facility is a ruined castle.
The forgotten ferris wheel is a ghost train.
The forgotten doll is a spectre of innocence lost.
No wild moorlands here.
No crumbling towers here.
No bewitching urban tales here.
Just the chemicals…
In the breeze we breathe.
In the draught we drink.
In the eels we eat.
Making us choke.
Making us keel.
Making us creak.
Older than we look.
Younger than we feel.
Aging before age.
And yet,
Beyond the gray bricks.
Beyond the sickly sweet air.
Beyond the deafening noise.
There’s a redbreast robin.
There’s the golden scent of autumn.
There’s a cheerful birdsong.
Drawing us close.
Pulling us in.
Covering us.
And the thick fumes,
And the plastic cages,
And the bitter water
Are left behind.
There’s a young girl,
There’s a forgotten woman,
There’s an old lady,
by that gate.
by that shrub.
by that pond.
They say
Her heart is enclosed in metal.
Her eyes are covered with plastic.
Her mouth is laden with gasoline.
Children run from her.
Men scuttle from her.
Only women are drawn to her.
They don’t see what you see.
They see
The bleeding heart,
The weeping eyes,
The hurried gasp,
And hear her lullabies.
And hear her croon.
And hear her hymn.
They see a fairy with torn wings.
They see a witch with missing hands.
They see an elven maiden with a broken heart.
They come to her for healing.
For the world.
For themselves.
For her.
They sit around the fire.
They sit around the roses.
They sit around the brew.
And they whisper secrets.
And they chant prayers.
And they weaves peace.
That echo through the night.
That echo through the factory.
That echo through the city.
And the wisps of fumes fade.
And the poison seeps out of the river.
And the earth is living again.
A swift sunshine
A clear birdsong,
A fresh breath.
The earth is breathing again.
The earthlings are breathing again.
The hearth is heartening again.
And the lady of the woods,
And the fay of the woods
And the crone of the woods,
… is a girl once more.
Full of hopes,
Full of life,
Full of love.
Vines are growing over the white buildings.
Weeds are growing on the cracked asphalt.
Shrubs are growing beyond the fences.
Breathe in,
You can taste mushroomed pathways.
You can smell the rotting foliage and feathers.
You can take in the quickening of the end.
So musky,
So rich,
So real.
Nothing like their chemical corruption.
Nothing like their radioactive seedlings.
Nothing like their engineered vegetation.
All is well, all is right.
Nature claims her right.
Humanity is back on the right path.
Breathe out.
And the girl is free.
And the girl is healed.
And the girl is reborn;
Once more.
Rejuvenated .
Renewed.
Restored.
I can breathe again.
My hearth is a campfire.
Never here,
Never there,
Always returning.
My love is in absence.
Never here,
Never there,
Always returning.
My home is an embrace,
Never here,
Never there,
Always returning.
Time always trickles,
Friends always trickle,
Dreams always trickle.
Droplets into
Rivulets into
Streams into
A sea of feelings,
An ocean of memories
A universe of faces.
I belong to the ever changing dunes.
I belong to the ever changing slopes.
I belong to the ever changing shores.
Your footsteps fading into the sands.
Your silhouette fading into the snow.
Your shoulders drowning in the water.
Here yesterday,
Gone today.
And tomorrow?
And next week?
And every year?
Will you return?
With one spark,
With one glance,
With one word,
Will you return?
Or will I build palaces
With words and paints?
Or will I weave stories
With dreams and words?
Or will carve songs
With anguish and longing.?
Carve it so deeply
In wood,
In marble,
In the ground.
If only I could reach the night sky.
If only I could reach the milky way
If only I could reach the universe.
I would leave a trail of
Petals
Feathers
And buds.
For you to find with your gaze.
For you to follow with your heart.
For you to grasp with your soul.
To light your way back home.
Under a shower of golden leaves,
Under a trail of sweet raindrops,
Under a haze of amber glow,
Will you return?
There’s no point in living in that palace full of roses and birds
There’s no point in living in that far off land between here and there.
There’s no point in living in dreams that keep on slipping through my fingers.
This is what I keep on writing.
Yet in the velvety rain,
Yet in the cottony mist,
Yet in the embroidered forest,
I lose my way.
Waves, waves.
Wind in my hair.
Wind, wind,
Waves at my feet.
Waves,
Layers,
Eons.
Does time still exist?
If I were contained
Within brick walls
Within ciment cities
Within uranium bars,
I could forget this dream.
My eyes on the prize,
My hands never idle.
My mind never my own.
Belonging
Mind & body,
Hands and feet,
Heart & soul,
To what can only be seen.
To what can only be held.
To what can only be contained.
But I am free.
One of those birds that can never stay,
But always comes back.
Dew on my skin,
Salt on my lips,
Glimmer in my eyes.
I can see beyond
Their walls
Their cages
Their bars.
Can’t you?
No you cannot.
You cannot see the palace of the birds.
You canot see the primordial promise.
You cannot see the birth of our love.
You were there,
But you are gone now.
Oh but I saw it…
Feathers,
Glimmer,
and softness
Your soul.
I noticed you.
I recognized you.
I beckoned you.
And you ran.
Leaving me to my
Palace of roses and birds
Cabin by the river and woods,
Dream of the past and the future.
I tend my fire.
I weave my life.
I light my night.
And you keep on running.
Dear loyal friend,
Dear bosom friend
Dear sister friend.
There is so much I cannot say.
We’ve walked side by side for so long.
We’ve struggled side by side for so long
We’ve danced side by side for so long.
I know the meaning behind
Your smile
Your frown
Your countenance.
And you know why
I turn my head
I laugh so loud
I sign so low.
You know me as I know you.
You’ve known me as I’ve known you.
But lately,
The curtain of rain has been drawing us apart
The curtain of vines has been drawing us apart.
The curtain of mists has been drawing us apart.
The wild current of the river, never letting us find each other.
At the first clearing,
At he first island
At the first sunshine
We’d find each other.
By the campfire,
By the coffeepot
By the busy street,
We’d share woes and lows
We’d share highs and heights
We’d share laughter and tears
Joined forever by
Sisterhood
Humanity
Unity.
We were on the same dumbfounding path.
We were fighting the same creepy-crawlers.
We were cutting through the same shrubs.
We spoke the same language.
We spoke of the same toils.
We spoke with the same words.
What was different was
A crown,
An extra layer
An enhancement.
We nourished each other from those
Divergences
Differences
Disagreements…
All brought us together.
But nowadays
The forest is too thick
The mist is too heavy
The shrubs are too dense.
And the clearings are rare.
The campfire is but embers.
The coffeepot is full bitterness
The street is full of strangers.
And your face is that of a stranger.
Do you understand me?
Do you hear my distress?
Do you hear my inner joy?
I hear no echoes in your voice.
I see no reflection in your eyes
I see no familiarity in your smile.
Perhaps its is only me….
Who has lost my way.
Who has lost my name.
Who has lost my own face.
To find a new one.
Change,
I’ve been praying for it.
Change,
I’ve been striving for it.
Change,
I’ve been bracing for it.
Change
Oh Lord, how different it is from what I thought it’d be.
Change,
Oh Lord how different is its pace from what I thought it’d be.
Change,
Oh Lord, how different is its price from what I though it’d be.
My friends,
My fellowship,
My sisters….
I am not leaving you behind.
You have left me behind.
I am not leaving you ahead,
You have left me ahead.
I am not leaving you,
You have already left me.
Too tired to run after you,
To catch up.
Too tired to use a lexicon
To understand you.
Too tired to use a foreign language
To explain myself.
Tell me,
Do you try too?
Do you feel tired too?
Do you feel left behind too?
Or is it just me.
Always me.
Only me.
Me.
No blame,
No claims
No constraints.
Just,
Exhausted
Drained
Empty.
Over.
Under the stars
I carry our fond memories.
Under the moonlight,
I carry our pledges of loyalty.
Under the sunlight,
I carry my love for you.
In the pages of a book,
In the lyrics of a song,
In discourse with my Lord,
I find
Understanding
Common ground.
Solace.
With strangers,
With people I’ve never known,
With my invisible God
I am never alone.
But you,
Dear sisters,
Dear kinswomen,
Dear confidants,
Our paths have diverged a long long time ago.
You are so beautiful.
Your joy is so graceful.
You are braver than wolves.
I watch you go…
This time I don’t run after you.
This time I don’t call after you.
This time I don’t pull you to me.
Your face is turned towards
Your own challenges.
Your own joys.
Your own dark hours.
I smile,
I wave
and blow kisses.
But you don’t even glance behind.
Another last look,
Another prayer for you,
Another poem for us.
Farewell.
I turn to my own path.
I turn to my own fate.
I turn to my own joy.
Perhaps, now you’re looking at me.
Perhaps now you are sending me blessings.
Perhaps now you are wondering about where I have disappeared.
Oh don’t worry, dear friend, it won’t last.
You will get used to my absence.
Like I got used to yours.
Absence is not anger.
Absence is not amnesia.
Absence is not annihilation.
… It’s only a benevolent silence.
Thus, dear friend,
Keep on moving
Keep on going
Keep on living…
And maybe one day our paths will cross again.
The gently swaying foliage,
The golden and yellowing leaves whispering,
The great tit and the robin chirping farewell.
How delightful!
My feet grow heavier,
Roots grow out of my toes,
Blossom grow in my hair.
A smile,
A tear,
And a first step
Into the next turn
Into the next path
Into the next trail.
The road is still long.
I cannot see behind.
I cannot see forward.
I can only see here and now.
Your pretty words,
Tangled in soft fluff,
Laced with earnest sincerity,
Embroidered on delicate silk,
Your words were hollow.
I knew.
I waited.
I knew.
The sun rose and sank behind the hill.
The moon grew and dwindled above the hill.
The seasons spread their mantles over the hill.
Afte a last smile,
I walked on.
I journeyed on.
I moved on.
Do I hear a flutter in the bough behind me?
Do I hear a voice calling my name beyond the tree line?
Do I hear a man wondering why they always leave?
No,
Just a bluebird
Just a wisp of wind.
Just a last farewell.
Every clearing bestows a new story.
Every river bend bestows a new poem.
Every autumn bestows a new lament.
Oh do not fret,
Sadness makes you grow.
Melancholy gives you a melody.
Loss offers you more space.
Thunder,
Wild showers,
The made race of the wind…
And the storm is over.
Golden hues,
Honeyed softness,
Amber glow.
A last dance.
The storm is over,
and I go on.
No shade,
No rain,
No dew.
The summer never ends.
The urchin jumps into the sea.
The mermaid swims deep into the sea.
The nymph walked out of the sea.
Autumn will never betray us.
Maybe I was wrong,
Maybe I was right.
Maybe I was just scared.
All I know is that
The ground is freezing beneath my boots.
Garlic cloves are growing beneath the dirt.
Nights are growing so cold and melodious.
But the great tit and his family have left.
But the sparrows are too shy to sing at night.
But the owls are too far deep in the woods to be heard.
Who is singing?
The wind, always the wind.
Who is sighing?
The wind, always the wind.
Who is regretting?
The wind, always the wind.
Or is it only me?
I cannot breathe deeply.
I cannot think deeply.
I cannot commit deeply.
There’s a restlessness
Keeping me up at night.
Waking me up at dawn.
There’s a call…
Beating in my heart,
Twirling in my veins,
Lurching in my lungs.
Where to?
When?
How?
Why wouldn’t you tell me?
The path is
Whirling,
Twisting
Turning
Into a spiderweb.
Into a fortified city
Into a spiral galaxy
No straight path or me.
No simple story for me.
No hurdle free answer.
Watch me :
Shrug it off.
Smile it off.
Dance it off.
On and on,
Run & stumble.
On and on,
Tired & strong.
On and on,
Lost & driven.
The road is still long.
I will linger today.
I will stop today.
I will take it in today.
Bask in the afternoon glow.
Float in the divinest scent.
Sing in the a misty landscape.
Until it’s time to go.
On and on.
My heart the betrayer,
How many years wasted
How many days that never happened.
How many nights that froze me to the bones.
Still clinging to him.
Still longing for him.
Still dreaming of him.
Isn’t the world wide enough?
So many different faces
So many different stories
So many different languages
So much that could have happened.
But it didn’t.
Because all you wanted was his arms.
Because all you wanted was his hands.
Because all you wanted was his heart.
But pray tell,
Do you remember his face?
Do you remember his voice?
Do you remember his scent?
Could you find him in a sea of people?
Could you find him in a field of souls?
Could you find him in the tumult of the end?
Oh listen to my heart,
Oh listen to my soul,
Oh listen to my pen,
What sighs full of wonder!
What dreams full of magic!
What stories full of insight!
How will I ever be able to reason with them?
Day after day I watch it trickle away.
Night after night, I beg it to stay.
Year after year, I feel the dust gathering.
The life I could have had.
Had I not glanced at you.
Had I not heard your voice.
Had I not glimpsed an endless wave in your eyes.
It was a breath.
It was a dream.
It was a word.
And my world was changed forever.
My heart singing the same song year after year,
My heart weaving the same fabric year after year.
My heart rehearsing the same play year after year.
Without even wearing the right makeup and costume,
Without even announcing a date for the opening,
Without any orchestra playing in the gallery.
Just the cadence of my treacherous heart.
Just the hum of my overflowing heart.
Just the sigh of my breaking heart.
So soft, so quiet,
So gentle, so slow.
So subtle, so close.
I wish it could be over,
But it never ends.
How long does it take for cosmic dust to become a new star?
How long does it take for a supernova to become a pulsar?
How long does it take for a galaxy to collapse in a black hole?
How long? How long?
For mitosis?
For replication?
For the virus to spread?
For the trees to die?
For the ashes to be crushed?
For the carbon to solidify?
For earth to drink the river?
For the heat to steal the droplets?
For the rain to cry into the river?
How long? How long?
For the never-ending story.
For the never-ending cycle.
For the never.ending movement.
On and on.
My dreams and glimpses of you wax,
My hope are harvested in the moonlight.
My wishful thinking wanes into a sickly trickle.
And yet,
With every pump.
With every thud.
With every breath,
My heart could remember you.
Feeble crushable thing.
Tender delicate muscle.
Small and moldable tissue.
Wouldn’t it flatter the feathers on your head?
Wouldn’t it thicken the mane around your face?
Wouldn’t it give more color to the foliage in which you hide?
It would be poetical.
If all my thoughts,
if all my breaths,
if all my existence
were for you.
It would have been foolish.
It would have been patthetic.
It would have been a real waste.
Look up, dear, look up.
The infinite display of jewels and gems : forever beyond your reach.
Look down, dear, look down.
The ever flowing oceans of secrets : forever beyond your reach.
Look in, dear, look in.
The winding way only a soul can find : forever beyond your reach.
I look up,
And see the creation of the Loving.
I look down,
And I see the bestowal of the Everlasting.
I look in,
And I find my way to the Most High.
And thus,
With every pump,
With every thud,
With every breath,
I remember Him.
The One who created me.
The One who holds me.
The One to whom I will return.
And I am free…
Of my heart’s frailty.
Of my heart’s naivety.
Of my heart’s foolishness.
And I am free.
Of your flicker.
Of your fright.
Of your flight.
And I am free
To love you,
The fallible man.
To love myself.
The imperfect woman.
To love my Creator,
The Giver of Life.
Free.
To find compassion for you,
and for my heart.
To find gentleness for you,
and for my heart.
To find forgiveness for you,
and for my heart.
Forever,
Basking in His Light.
Melting in His Mercy.
Loving in His Love.
No, dear heart, I haven’t wasted anything..
No dear heart, I haven’t lost anything.
No, dear heart, I haven’t missed anything.
It isn’t over.
It isn’t too late.
It isn’t all that there is.
With every pump,
With every thud,
With every breath,
Remember.
Remember Him.
Remember Him, and remain free.
For that next ridge,
For that next crest,
For that next summit. .
And life that keeps on going.
In spite of the heartache that tear you.
In spite of the ghosts who still linger.
In spite of the wind which can only blow.
Your heart grows.
Your heart glows.
Your heart beats… and beats… and beats.
And remembers.
[Forever,
Basking in His Light. Melting in His Mercy. Loving in His Love. ]
Careful word after word,
Painstaking sentence after sentence,
Flourishing page after page,
I try to make sense of what you were.
The leaves cover the pits of memory.
The wax trickles into the hollow hopes.
The ink always flows over the broken record.
The same old story.
The same old sentiment.
The same old questions :
Was it real?
Was it true?
Was it divin?
There’s a mansion over a cliff.
There’s a hall in the mansion.
There’s a box in that hall.
A music box that plays the same tune forever.
I never go there.
I hardly go there.
I seldom go there.
But I still linger in that wide white hall...
For you,
For me,
For us.
There I can collect mementos that only mean something to me.
Feathers, white as snow.
Songs, in foreign languages.
Rocks, from different valleys.
They all tell the same story.
There can never be enough words.
There can never be enough colors,
There can never be enough notes.
To describe what cannot be described.
I keep on telling you that.
You keep on driffiting.
I sing you into existence.
I hope you into flesh.
I write you into posterity.
You kept on telling me I didn’t know you.
I kept on swearing that I knew you since before time.
To express what cannot be expressed;
I dance each and every meeting we shared.
I paint every touch we didn’t share.
I carve every hope we could have shared.
If only,
If only,
If only.
Listen,
The song is playing again.
Listen,
It doesn’t mater if you don’t understand.
Listen,
Only your heart can catch the meaning.
Did you ever let your heart listen?
Did you ever let your soul listen?
Did you ever let your whole being listen?
Sometimes I wish I didn’t know about
Your frailty
Your insecurities
Your delicate ego.
You thought you escaped before I could see
Clearly
Lethally
Objectively
Through your glamor
Through your armor
Through your ardor.
You thought I’d run at the first glimpse
Of your bones
Of your gums.
Of your sinew.
I see the boy.
I see the young man.
And I see the man.
Where am I?
Where you left me.
Where your forgot me.
Where you escaped me.
Like a warrior queen,
I never feared facing you.
I never feared facing myself.
I never feared facing the truth.
Ugly and beautiful.
Bold and shy.
Heavy and light.
But you did,
Didn’t you?
Like the fisherman and the skeleton lady.
His flight made her cling.
His terror made her grow.
His vulnerability made her beautiful.
But you never looked back.
But you never turned back.
But you never came back.
To see what you gave birth to.
To see what you gave growth to.
To see what you gave beauty to.
You ran,
and you kept on running.
and you’re still running.
I started to grow,
and I kept on growing.
and I’m still growing.
Like the stuff of nightmares.
Like the stuff of legends.
Like the stuff of epic poems.
Roots that grow deeper,
Trunk that grows thicker,
Branches that grow higher.
While the wind keeps on blowing,
Leaves out of the way,
Apples on their way,
Blossoms on your way.
And now I see…
How small you were.
How frail you were.
How scared you were.
And even now, I forgive you.
And even now, I esteem you.
And even now, I love you.
But only your shadow feels my echoes.
But only the wind hears my praises.
But only the silence holds my love.
So be it!
Keep on running.
Keep on flying.
Keep on fading.
My love will remain.
Like the froth in the waves
Like the clouds in the sky.
Like the dust in deep space.
Erupting,
Melding,
Evolving.
On and on.
Until the sky is on fire.
Until the earth is la rug.
Until the mountains are dust.
And you cannot run anymore.
From your own face.
From your own fears.
From your own feelings.
And Light is everywhere.
And Love is everywhere.
And Truth is everywhere.
And we can only yield to it.
Softly, like gauze.
Gently, like silk.
Celestially, like a breath.
Soul to soul,
Eye to eye,
Lips to lips.
Entwined.
Under the gentle Light of Truth.
Layla Ali Sultan 