July 2021
The mermaid slept
tangled in the pirate’s arms.
The fearless ranger slept,
entwined in the werewolf’s arms.
The elven princess slept,
curled into her knight’s arms.
Morning came,
And they were once more separated
with a screen
with kilometres
with silence.
The galleon left the deep sea.
The wolf left his hide in the forest.
The knight left the castle in his heart..
He goes through his day never knowing,
A fairy plays in his beard.
A naiad swim in his tears.
A huma flies in his daydreams.
Wherever she goes she can
See a feather spiralling to her.
Hear a bird beckoning to her.
Feel a flutter of wings next to her.
And how she smiles!
Is he smiling too?
And how she hopes!
Is he hoping too?
And she prays!
Is he praying too?
How can she know when
All she has are dreams.
All she has are words.
All she has are images.
To touch from your fingertips.
To hear from your ears.
To feel from your lips.
Who is your lover?
Although
Your hearts
Your minds
Your souls
have already met.
A long long time ago.
When all was One.
When all was none.
And we promised together,
And we witnessed together,
And we learned together,
The destination of our course.
Let me try,
Let them send armies,
Let them use reason.
As we call for the protection of Our Creator
05/04/21
When the nights are torn apart,
With whirling winds,
With worrisome words,
With weary whispery.
I toss and turn,
My hair like the ocean,
My arms like the tempest,
My head like the galaxies.
Is there a rhythm in my restlessness?
Is there fear in my restlessness?
Is there hope in my restlessness?
Change,
All must change.
Yesterday’s old house
Tomorrow’s complex.
Yesterday’s apple tree,
Tomorrow’s flats.
Yesterday’s childhood,
Tomorrow’s old age.
How can it be?
Ten years ago?
Twenty years ago?
Thirty years ago?
Dear Lord,
How can it be?
If I’m growing like a withered oak tree,
What about them?
I see tiredness where there was a spring.
I see confusion where there was sharpness.
I see exhaustion where there was patience.
There is no respite,
from the whirling of the galaxies,
from the cycling of the seasons,
from the momentum of the years.
On and on,
Until no more.
Unless I turn my face to the One.
And I remember,
What my mind cannot remember.
What my heart cannot remember.
What only my soul can remember.
That lone ship who survived,
Through death,
Through destruction,
Through destitution,
To the dawn…
By the Grace of Our Creator,
By the Mercy of Our Creator,
By the Love of Our Creator.
The distant stars glimmering,
The loud waves crashing,
The quiet soul longing.
And my heart stops racing.
And my thoughts stop pacing.
And my soul stops crashing.
All those stories,
All those songs,
All those sighs,
Tell the same tale.
The world may crash and burn.
The world may change and spin.
The world may vanish and return.
Rootless,
Anchor-less
Borderless
We sail on.
On wings of twinkling stars,
On wings of frothy waves,
On wings of steadfast faith.
There is no fear in the horizon.
Only,
Infinite Peace.
Only,
Eternal Light.
Only,
Timeless Presence.
How small a human life is,
for the hungry heart of a galaxy.
How vast a human body is,
for the nucleus of a cell.
How intricate a human destiny is,
for the ever abiding Angels.
And the morning comes,
With a chorus of twitterings,
With a ruffle of wings,
With a soft whisper.
The nightingale stops for a bite.
The robin drops in for a visit.
The sparrows never linger for long.
How familiar are their ways…
Like the return of the spring,
Like the return of the morning,
Like the return of his wooing.
Change,
All must change.
Except the truth that remains true.
Except for the past that remains passed.
Except for Our Creator who remains the One who created
Us.
You.
Me.
Change,
Let it all change.
Change,
Let me change.
Change,
Let yourself change.
Our essence,
Our soul,
Our love,
are safe in His Hands.
There is a distance between us.
It’s like the veil of a misty morn.
It’s like the waves of a restless sea
It’s like the silence before dawn.
I keep my words inside a locket.
And when they start to grow.
And when they they start to blossom..
And when the start to bare fruits.
I stitch them with gold into an embroidery.
I give them wings to become prayers.
I give them a rhythm to turn them into a lullaby.
And my heart fills up,
And my heart glow away,
And my heart flow from,
All this unspoken love.
In the wordy whirlwind of this furious world.
In the constant racket of this blind horde.
In the ever growing surfeit of this starving mob,
You are a lulling whisper,
You are a gentle feather.
You are a calm haven.
When you speak,
Your words are seeds.
Your voice is a breeze.
Your prayer is an ease.
How gentle,
How calm,
How silent.
Is this the way Home?
I want to take you to the mountains
I want to dance with you in the waves.
I want to hold you in a thick forest.
Lost,
Wandering,
Lost,
but Home.
Up that slop,
By that beach,
Under those trees,
Let’s build that little cabin.
Lets build that safe fortress.
Let’s build that gentle haven.
A quiet place,
Where we can both heal.
Where we can both grow.
Where we can bot howl.
You and me.
Me and you.
Us.
Distance
stretches
crosses
collapses.
Illusions.
I hear your voice,
even if you are quiet.
You hear my voice,
even if I am far away.
We hear each other’s hearts,
even if we have never collided.
Where is that distance now?
The distance between one galaxy to the other.
The distance from a nucleolus and the membrane.
The distance between a heartbeat and a heartbeatt.
Crumbs,
Dust,
Sigh.
My love,
I am yours.
You are mine.
And we are God’s.
Space,
Time,
Mountains.
Who fears them when you have God on your side?
When waves of human love confuse me When winds of human rage ensnare me When fumes of human desire bewitch me
I can no longer breathe deeply. I can no longer hear deeply. I can no longer love deeply.
And I wonder, And I wander, And I wound her.
The soul within me, The heart within me, The light within me
Are wounded Are dulled Are rusted.
Wounded. Blinded. Confused.
There’s a stir within me There’s a spark within me There’s a call within me.
That can never be lost.
As I feel the warm ground beneath my feet. As I hear the gentle chirp of the sparrows above my head. As I smell the teardrop in the air around my body.
I find that pathway….
Through the woods, Through the clearing, To the cabin
Where the fire never dies.
Yesterday I shivered. Yesterday I heaved. Yesterday I whispered.
What will happen to me
Once, this gentle love is soothed. Once this gentle touch has vanished. Once this gentle grasp has faded.
Will I return to myself? Will I return home? Will I return to You?
For returning I must…
I cannot sense You. I cannot hear You. I cannot hold You,
I cannot be regenerated by Your Light.
How afraid I was yesterday…
Yet today,
The waves, The winds, The fumes
all faded.
The sparrows are pecking. The doves are cooing, The woodpeckers are seeking.
What I already have. What I never lost. What I always keep…
Your Presence.
It was only my heart that was too loud. It was only my mind that was too loud. It was only the world that was too loud.
It all recedes
When I seek for you. When I call for you. When I reach for you.
From all my being.
Body Heart Soul.
All for my all. My all for All. All.
You are The Source of all Love. You are The Source of all Light. You are the Source of all Life.
They may come, They may leave.
They may love, They may hate.
They may try, They may give up.
But you were the First.a But you are the Constant. But you will be the Last.
Destination, Refuge, Home.
The sparrows, The raindrops And even the airplane
Sing your praise.
The tired soil The weakened trees The faltering roses
All long for Your Mercy.
That You pour on us,
Drop after drop, Wave after wave, Cloud after cloud.
You confessed something.
I confessed everything.
Childhood dreams.
Childhood tales.
She was a tired crooner
He was an injured footballer.
He read her words
Before he coud hear her voice.
She knew his game
Before she could watch him run.
Who are you?
Who am I?
Who are they?
The smoke like a mist,
The percussion like thunder,
The stage like a funeral parlor.
Friends?
No I don’t do friends.
Date?
No I don’t date.
Marriage?
No I’m not ready.
She ran,
to return to her old songs.
He left,
to return for another chase.
Lustrous eyes
Hurried breaths,
Shivering fingers.
Love, is it love?
Not now, my love, not now.
Too late, my love, too late.
Too fast, my love, too fast.
Dainty,
Regal,,
Sensitive.
A wingless bird.
Noble,
Strong,
Gentle.
A voiceless lion.
Lips almost meeting,
Fingertips almost lingering,
Hearts almost meeting.
Frozen in time.
Did you hear her latest hit?
Slow and mellow,
Warm and glowing,
Melancholic and elated.
Did you watch his last game?
Fast and fierce,
Calm and tough,
Hopeful and despairing.
No, they didn’t see it.
Only those who have eyes see.
Only those who have light see.
Only those who have hearts see.
Hearts that have tasted pure terror.
Hearts that have tasted pure bliss.
Hearts that have tasted pure love.
Like in those rusted songs,
Like in those dusty movies,
Like in these wilted poems.
That you grew up with.
That you grew out of.
That you are growing back to.
All for an unexpected love…
The kind of love that just cannot exist;
Unless, it is blessed,
Unless it is bestowed,
Unless it is decreed,
By the One who,
Choreographs the dance of the moon and sun.
Embroiders the colors of winter and summer.
Conducts the lament of the wind and the sea.
What do they know?
What can they know?
How can they know?
He collects teary eyed,
Words from her dreams.
She sings in utter abandon
Words he thinks.
He carries like a crown,
Words she coons.
Midsummer sighs.
Midyear prayers.
Midlife rebirth,
Entwined,
Interwoven,
Interlocked,
Before they knew.
Before they hoped.
Before they existed.
Tell me,
Is this the dream we shared?
Tell me,
Is this the hope you carried?
Tell me,
Is it the fairytale He designed?
You and I.
Me and you.
Us?
Did you wake up at midnight?
Did you open your window tonight?
Did you look up to the night?
They would say,
Why bother?
Why care?
Why try?
It’s raining too much.
It’s too cold.
It’s too cloudy.
But you wouldn’t…
Because you dream.
Because you hope.
Because you believe.
So you woke up.
Barefoot,
Barhead,
Barehanded,
You went to meet the night.
No moon glimmering.
No stars glinting.
No eyes glinting.
Only the darkness,
Only the silence,
Only Your Creator,
A breath in,
Heart beating,
A breath out,
Heart beating.
A breath in.
And you see it…
As if your eyes could pierce
The clouds
As if your eyes could travel beyond,
The atmosphere.
As if your eyes could see
The unseen.
There’s a star.
Behind the thick clouds,
Behind the ashen sky,
Behind the shivering twilight,
There’s a star
Beckoning you.
Calling you.
Lulling you..
Brave,
Steadfast,
Earnest.
You’ve seen it before,
Haven’t you?
You’ve heard it before,
Haven’t you?
You’ve sang it before,
Haven’t you?
That hymn to Hope.
That praise to the Light
That prayer to God
With that same star.
Remember, that twinkle,
Do remember.
Remember, that whisper,
Do remember.
Remember that promise,
Do remember.
In that time before time.
In that space before space.
In that moment before moment.
When you faced Your Creator.
And you knew,
what you know now.
And you believed,
What you believe now.
And you saw,
What you see now…
In the glimmer of a lost star.
After the rushing trickles,After the hurried gasps,After the crackling fires,There’s a pool.Calm,Motionless,ReflectingThe blaze of the sun.The gleam of the moon.The glimmer of the stars.Reflecting deeply.No sorrowNo joyNo sigh.What is gone, is gone.What is left, is left.What is, is.… But what is that?Tell me, please, tell me.Write again, please, write again.Hope once more, please, hope once more.But the boulders have rolled down.But the wind has died down.But the birds have settled down.And there are no answers.The river is black with ink.The river is gray with tears.The river is white with remembrance. Until I saw the crescent moon.I left the cabin in the woods.I left the room full of books.I left the two cups of tea.and I kept on walking.Stone in my chest.Ashes in my throat.Brambles in my eyes.and I kept on walking.Tears tickling down,Hope dashing away,Dreams buried away,and I kept on walking.Parched lips.Rumbling stomach.Empty heart.Found, found my way.Away, away to find.Found my way back home.To What is beyond those stars.To What is higher than this sun.To What is more real than reality.Home.Tell me love, Weren’t you headed this way too?Tell me my sparrow,Weren’t we headed this way together?Tell me my oak tree,Were we longing for the same destination? As I walk on,I can see your eyes,I can hear your words,I can feel your warmth,In a flash,In a flutter,In a twinkle,Of my heart. Maybe, as I make my way Home,Maybe, as I make my way to Freedom.Maybe, as I make my way to Peace. Around the bend I will find,A kindred spirit,A fellow wanderer.A familiar presence.Fingers entwined,Palm to palm,Souls entwined,We will walk side by side, again.Never parting,Never cleaving,Never untanglingUntil we reach Our Destination.
Layla Ali Sultan 