Category: God

08/03/20

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment 
Can you hear her?
Can you feel her?
Can you hold her?

A soft chirp,
A gentle flutter,
A lithe heartbeat.

There’s a song in your heart
There’s a feather in your beard,
There’s a warmth in your palms,

But you cannot see it.

Your branches are high and wide,
Your foliage is battered but blooming,
Your trunk is caved but strong.

An oak,
A cypress,
An aspen,

That survived the Flood.
That survived the Plagues.
That survived the Furies.

Time and time again.

In a world full of coal,
In a world full of smoke,
In a world full of oil spills ,

You thrived.

You know of darkness and the return of the Light,
You know of loneliness and the return to the Presence,
You know of bitterness and the return Forgiveness,

… But ever so lonely.

High there,
Deep within,
Far away,

How cold you must feel,
How silent you must feel,
How tired you mus feel….

But even in this land,

The pale dawn must return,
The gentle breeze must return,
A hopeful spring must return.

Like in the ever expanding darkness,
Like in the ever exploding supernova,
Like in the ever silent galaxies,

There’s a distant glint.

It’s a speck,
Its a dust,
It’s a star.

You looked up to the night sky.
You searched for the crescent moon.
You found an unexpected gleam.

Something you carry with you even in the brightest sunshine.
Something you protect from the fiercest storm.
Something you hold on to even in the bitterest cold.

But you cannot grasp it yet.
But you cannot clasp it yet.
But you cannot wrap it yet.

In your arms.

Your heart yearns for that moment,
Your chest tremble for that embrace,
Your soul shivers for that treasure.

But she isn’t a queen,
decked in diamonds and pearls.

But she isn’t a saint,
decked with distance and perfection.

But she isn’t a prize,
decked with gold and jewels.

She is but a human.
She is but a woman.
She is but a wanderer… Just like you.

A poet, sometimes,
A lady, other times,
A bird, most of the time.

What about you?

Who are you?
A solid oak tree.

Who are you?
A timid sparrow.

Who are you?
A safe valley.

I wish you were a tree
I could rest on.

I wish you were a foliage
I could shelter under.

I wish you were a foret
I could lose myself into.

Instead,

You are a few sentences,
You are a few heartbeats,
You are a few clicks,

and a dream,
and a hope,
and a prayer,

That I have bestowed to God.

One day,
One night,
One magical moment,

My love,

I shall tell your everything.
I shall give you everything.
I shall offer you everything.

One day,

When the time has come.
When the decree has fallen,
When the waiting is fulfilled,

I shall be yours.
You shall be mine.

If God has ordained it.
As God has ordained it.
When God has ordained it.

Until then…

There’s a song in your heart,
There’s a feather in your beard,
There’s a warmth in your palms,

— A bird on your shoulder. 

17/02/20

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment 
Sweet and soft
Timid and pale,
Vanishing and whispering,

You made me forget the harsh wind.

What were you searching for?
What were you running from?
What were you hoping for?

We both listened to each other’s silences.
We both gazed into each other’s universes.
We both held on to each other’s heartbeats.

Deep at night,

I can still feel you.
I can still hear you.
I can still hold you.

Deep in my dreams.

My darling sparrow
My shy sparrow 
My strong sparrow.

I followed you

Through forests and fields.
Through fields and mountains.
Through mountains and forests.

But it wasn’t enough. 

There were so many lands,
There were so many oceans,
There were so many galaxies,

Yet to be beheld together.

I close my eyes,
I hold up my hands,
I let my soul fly away.

And I am the breeze on your cheek,
And I am the flutter on your shoulder,
And I am the whisper in your heart.

Dear love.

When the fire burns logs into cinders.
When the wind blows those cinders.
When the earth cradle those cinders.

When the moon is a sliver in the forest,
When the moon is a glimmer in the forest.
When the moon is a lamp in the forest.

When the violets are shying away.
When the hydrangea are blooming away.
When the roses are scattering away.

You are in my sighs.
You are in my songs.
You are in my soul.

Each bird must fly on an autumn eve. 
Each bird must return on a spring morn.
Each bird must glide over the ocean.

Was the sparrow lost?
Was the robin lost?
Did they find their way?

Sweet and soft
Timid and pale,
Vanishing and whispering,

Another glance,
Another peep,
A last chirp,

And they flew away.

One North,
One South.

One high,
One low.

One slowly,
One swiftly.

Scattering dew on the roses.
Rustling with the wild winds.
Praying with lost souls.

They are not lost.
They are not sad. 
They are not weary.

Creator,

In Your Light,
In Your Healing,
In Your Hand,

They are home.

Yet,

There remains a hope in their heart.
There remains a sigh in their soul.
There remains a prayer in their peace.

That they reveal only to the Keeper of Hearts.

10/11/19

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment
Sami Yusuf – A Dancing Heart
Music to accompany this poem
 Creature of the woods,
 Creature of the wilds,
 Creature of the winds…
 
 Never of this city.
 
 Blinding lights,
 Deafening voices,
 Intoxicating fumes. 
 
 I crawl back to my
 
 Hovel
 Cabin
 Tower.
 
 Nestled in the trees.
 
 Aspens.
 Oaks.
 Maples. 
 
 Why must I leave my peace?
 Why must I?
 
 You must,
 You shall,
 You will, my child.
 
 They call,
 They always call…
 
 Through the highways, 
 Through the valleys,
 Through the seas, 
 
 They wake me up at night.
 
 Child,
 You must come.
 
 Child,
 You must run.
 
 Child,
 You must return.
 
 And I look the other way.
 
 Shivering,
 Trembling,
 Twitching,
 
 There will be no rest,
 Until I answer
 
 This call
 This beseech  
 This summon. 
 
 Too young,
 Too soon,
 Too fragile.
 
 I cannot.
 
 But my heart never rests.
 
 And my face becomes finer.
 And my eyes become deeper.
 And my hair becomes lighter.
 
 Time cannot ever be hindered. 
 
 Am I standing still, am I moving?
 
 Dancing
 Twirling
 Balancing 
 
 Between two world.
 Between two direction.
 Between two paths.
 
 How high is the tightrope!
 How high is the horizon!
 How high is the summit!
 
 The river runs in the glen.
 The daisies grow in the hollow.
 The children play in the dale.
 
 But I belong far away from
 
 Their gushing.
 Their dancing.
 Their singing.
 
 I wish I could climb down to them.
 I wish I could run to them.
 I wish I could stay with them.
 
 Find smooth pebbles in the river.
 Make luscious flower crowns,
 Hold their small hands in mine.
 
 I look at them.
 I wave at them.
 I call to them.
 
 They never notice me.
 
 There’s an invisible veil between us.
 Theres’s an invisible net between us.
 There’s an invisible barrier between us.
 
 Like the one that separates
 
 Living from the dead,
 Light from the shadows.
 Freshwater from saltwater.
 
 Invisible.
 Subtle.
 Unshakable. 
 
 Yet,
 We must all flow.
 
 Yet,
 We must all fly.
 
 Yet,
 We must all feel….
 
 The call beneath our ribs.
 The call beneath our heart.
 The call beneath our fingertips. 
 
 Can you hear it too?
 Can you?
 
 Or am I a madwoman…
 
 Frenzied.
 Frantic.
 Free.
 
 Ever wandering.
 Ever solitary,
 Ever thirsty,
 
 Scattering behind me
 
 Petals of what could have been,
 Hums of what could perhaps be.
 Feathers of what could never be.
 
 Unless…
 
 And I look away from the vale,
 And I look to my own feet.
 And I look up to the sky.
 
 Unless…
 
 Do you ever hear echoes of prayers,
 Do you ever hear tatters of laments,
 Do you ever hear hopeful hymns,
 
 Up there in the lonely mountains?
 
 Voices of those 
 Who journey.
 
 Voices of those,
 Who leave.
 
 Voices of those,
 Who must return.
 
 To the Unknowable.
 To the Unseeable.
 To the Ungraspable.
 
 To the ever Familiar. 
 To the ever Compassionate. 
 To the ever Loving.
 
 And the voices…
 
 Of those who sing in your blood.
 Of those who whisper in your dreams.
 Of those who are heard in your own words. 
 
 To a distant land.
 To an ancient time.
 To another idiom.
 
 You can almost see it…
 
 The scorching desert.
 The freezing summits.
 The haunting ruins.
 
 Towers embroidered of
 
 Gold
 Turquoise
 And blue.
 
 You can feel them under your fingertips.
 You can feel them against your palms.
 You can feel them against your cheek.
 
 Like a scent that never leaves you…
 
 Musk
 Frankincense 
 And roses.
 
 And the chants,
 And the oud 
 And the sitar.
 
 Like a melody that lulls you
 
 In,
 Out,
 and In,
 
 Of a sleep carved with dreams.
 
 A maddening labyrinthe 
 
 Curls,
 Leaps
 and fire out.
 
 Burning,
 Like a memory.
 
 Burning,
 Like a desire.
 
 Burning,
 Like a thirst.
 
 Something you cannot have imagined.
 Something you cannot translate in words.
 Something you cannot explain with reason.
 
 So you lie awake.
 
 Wordlessly,
 Hopelessly,
 Mindlessly,
 
 Listening.
 
 Even in this peaceful forest,
 Even in this gentle country lane,
 Even in this blissful night,
 
 Every breeze that breathes,
 Every twig that creaks, 
 Every bird that leaps,
 
 Echo those voices….
 
 Calling you,
 Beseeching you,
 Summoning you,
 
 To the journey. 

07/11/19

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment 

 Deep rust dew,
 Light golden sunbeam,
 Soft pitter patter.
 
 Haven’t I told you before?

 I am not from this world.
 I am not for this world.
 I merely exist here.
 
 The bridge I left behind
 
 Fell apart as I stepped on it.
 Dissolved as I stepped on it.
 Blew away as I stepped on it.
 
 I leaped over the abyss
 I flew over the abyss 
 I rose over over the abyss.
 
 The bridge in front of me
 
 Is already wobbling.
 Is already fading.
 Is already whining.

 I wish you were strong enough to catch me
 I wish you were strong enough to hold me.
 I wish you were strong enough to follow me.
 
 Through the muddy path,
 Over the sharp ridges,
 Under the thick mossed earth.
 
 Leaning over that void
 Where you once stood.

 Leaning over that well,
 Where you once spoke.
 
 Leaning over that crevasse 
 Where you once beckoned me. 
 
 I scatter pearls and feathers,
 I scatter petals and ashes,
 I scatter smoke and tears.
 
 But I already know that it’s in vain.
 
 So I turn around,
 I turn left,
 and keep on turning left.
 
 Until I find a whiff of 
 
 Myrrh 
 Frankincense
 Roses.
 
 and I find the stairwell,
 and I find the base camp,
 and I find the holy cave.
 
 Where I can truly hear.
 Where I can truly speak. 
 Where I can truly connect.

 … And at last be understood. 
 
 Dear sparrow,
 
 So gentle,
 So constant,
 So chatty.
 
 I listen to you.
 You listen to me.
 Neither is understood.
 
 I see you plunge into the fountain 
 Flap around your wings.

 I see you plunge your beak,
 Drink your fill.
 
 How brave,
 How endearing,
 How beautiful.
 
 But I am no bird…
 
 What am I?
 
 I look deep into that chasm,
 I look deep into that smoke,
 I look deep into that well,
 
 And try to find an echo of me.
 
 An apple tree,
 An apple blossom,
 An apple seed.
 
 Nothing more.
 
 A nurturing creature,
 A loving heart,
 And a promise to keep.
 
 Find my shoots in spring,
 Find my flowers in summer,
 Find my fruits in autumn,
 Find my bare core in the winter.
 
 Ever glowing
 Ever growing,
 Ever giving.

 But never yours.
 
 I belong to the seasons,
 I belong to the sunshine,
 I belong to the rainfall.
 
 I belong to the thick and rich soil.
 I belong to the soft and warm sun.
 I belong to the vigorous and living sap.
 
 But foremost…
 
 From my ever growing roots,
 Through my solid core,
 To my ever growing fruits,
 
 I belong to
 
 The One who created me.
 The One who nourished me.
 The One who protected me.
 
 and to Whom I will return.
 
 Listen to the bee,
 Smell the winter jasmine,
 Hold the fallen acorns.
 
 It is not winter yet.
 and yet, it will return.
 
 How thin the veils between the worlds are.
 How soft the voices calling to each other are.
 How persistant the souls drawn to each other are.
 
 Kismet.
 
 Come, come closer…
 
 Perhaps these woods are not haunted.
 Perhaps that crone is not evil.
 Perhaps that path isn’t thorny.
 
 Come, come closer…
 
 Maybe  I am wrong.
 Maybe you are right.
 Maybe… 
 
 Come, come closer…
 
 Perchance, this cabin isn’t an illusion.
 Perchance, this roaring fire isn’t a dream.
 Perchance, this embrace isn’t a fantasy.
 
 Destiny?

 When the leaves fall, 
 One by one.
 
 When the squirrels gather nuts,
 One by one.
 
 When the birds leave,
 One by One.
 
 I cannot see clearly.
 The mists.
 
 I cannot think clearly, 
 The bogs.
 
 I cannot understand clearly,
 The sunsets.
 
 So short,
 So short is a day.
 
 So far,
 So far we must go.
 
 Will you follow me?

03/11/19

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment 
 You see 
 
 You were the spark
 You were the scent
 You were the silk
 
 In my words.
 
 From an acorn came a tale.
 From a tale came a story.
 From a story came an oak.
 
 Under its shade,
 
 I found peace.
 I found solace
 I found another spark,
 
 Can you feel these deep roots?
 Can you feel this thick bark?
 Can you feel this rich foliage?
 
 It is not you doing.
 It is not your gift.
 It is not yours.
 
 Those are my words.
 Those are my stories.
 Those are my songs.
 
 This is my oak tree.
 Mine.
 
 After you left,
 
 It was my shelter
 It was my home.
 It was my ladder.
 
 It led me to other stories
 It led me to other discoveries.
 It led me back home.
 
 To my Creator.
 
 You were but a breeze
 You were but a gust of wind.
 You were but a breath.
 
 Long ago,
 Long gone.
 Gone.
 
 Thank God.
 
 Your roots didn’t go deep enough.
 Your arms were not strong enough.
 Your heart was not wild enough.
 
 To follow mine
 
 Through the waves
 Through the crags
 Through the vales.
 
 You didn’t even try.
 
 I must
 
 Face the well.
 Face the pond.
 Face the mirror
 
 And see what truly is here.
 
 The stars,
 The ebb,
 Myself.
 
 Alone.
 
 Flesh, blood and alone.
 Heart, lungs and alone.
 Soul, dreams and alone.
 
 Alone.
 
 Not quite, not quite. 
 
 There’s a thrill from that branch,
 There’s a flutter from within me,
 There’s a breath from far beyond.
 
 I am never truly alone.
 
 The finches on that branch,
 The robin in my heart,
 The bird of paradise in the horizon,
 
 Simurgh
 
 That calls me through the path
 That calls me through the marshes
 That call me through the mists
 
 Back home.
 
 Home, where is home?
 
 To the endlessly wandering soul
 To the utterly lost wild woman,
 To the irresistibly inspired poet
 
 Home is the Source and the Destination,
 Home is the ever twisting clearway.
 Home is the forest of inspiration.
 
 That glowing window,
 That warm alcove,
 That gentle aroma.
 
 You will never see it.
 and I will never see you again.
 
 Keep the golden blessings,
 Keep the copper feelings,
 Keep the silver yearnings.
 
 Kindly
 Peacefully
 Absolutely.
 
 As I retreat back 
 
 To my Refuge.
 To my Source.
 To my Light.
 
 To return to the world,
 
 With a brighter plumage,
 With more colors in my feathers,
 With a sweeter and deeper song.
 
 In a wild and enchanted forest,
 On a solid oak treel,
 On a gentle twig,
 
 Far far away from you.

23/10/19

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment 
 I may turn my head,
 I may linger away,
 I may crumble into dust.
 

 When the sun rises through the curtain of trees,
 When the sun dips behind the golden mountains,
 When the sun glows from my own chest;
 

 Glimmering gold dust caught in a beam,
 

 I can feel You.
 I can hear You.
 I can heed You.
 

 Like a warm embrace,
 Like a soft wave,
 Like an overwhelming elation.
 

 No words can ever paint this.
 No song can ever evoke this.
 No painting can ever write this….
 

 Look into my eyes,
 Look into my words,
 Look into my smile,
 

 Do you see it now?
 

 His Presence.
 His Embrace.
 His Mercy,
 

 Faintly reflected in me.
 

 Aren’t we all a little bit
 

 Opalescent,
 Reverberating,
 Echoing
 

 That primordial Light,
 That primordial Love,
 That primordial Presence,
 

 Our Creator?
 

 I see it in you, dear friend.
 Thank you.
 

 When the illusions melt into the moss.
 When the silence melts into a birdsong.
 When the deception melts into the sunlight.
 

 I can rise again.
 

 And dance,
 Step after step.
 

 And walk,
 Step after step.
 

 And run,
 Step after step.
 

 And long for flight,
 

 Like a bee,
 Like a bird,
 Like a prayer. 
 

 The muddy path cool under my barefoot
 The thorny brambles spiky against my open palms.
 The thick droplets so wet in my tangled hair. 
 

 Trickling,
 Trickling 
 And sticking.
 

 The rain is a blessing, my dear.
 The rain is an offering, my dear.
 The rain is a sign, my dear.
 

 A sign of hope.
 A sign of renewal,
 A sign of rebirth.
 

 Can you feel it?
 

 Convulsing,
 Trembling,
 Quivering.
 

 Oh so fresh and new!
 

 Ideas spurting out like delicate mushrooms.
 Ideas blooming out like fiery chrysanthemum 
 Ideas spreading like golden amber leaves.
 

 You, oh You my Keeper, are whispering in the breeze.
 You, oh You my Home, are sheltering me in the woods.
 You, oh You my Sustainer, are nurturing me with this fire.
 

 With every sputter,
 With every flutter,
 With every flicker,
 

 Warmth spreads to my skin.
 Warmth spreads to my limbs.
 Warmth spreads to my heart.
 

 Scampering away the dark ebbs.
 Chasing away the whirling empty pool.
 Flushing away the ashen specks 
 

 That taints my vision.
 That sinks my spirit.
 That cracks my will. 
 

 Let them roar.
 Let them moan.
 Let them croak. 
 

 My spirit remains untouched.
 

 Safe,
 Warm,
 Encompassed 
 

 in Your Light.
 

 Dear Love,
 I cal them love,
 but You are My One True Love.
 

 My Origin,
 My Home,
 My Destination.
 

 The First,
 The Ever-Present.
 The Last 
 

 I do not wander in vain.
 I do not seek in vain.
 I do not linger in vain.
 

 For my path takes me to,
 

 Depths they cannot imagine,
 Horizons they cannot comprehend,
 Summits they cannot see. 
 

 Where even imagination isn’t enough.
 Where even introspection isn’t enough.
 Where even observation isn’t enough. 
 

 Could I ever tell them about it?
 Or will they also fly away?
 

 Freedom,
 

 They philosophy and lament about it.
 They scatter off clothes and ties for it. 
 They follow every whim and fancy for it.
 

 Freedom?
 I ask.
 Freedom?
 

 Are you truly ready for it?
 

 Mere mortals,
 Mere animals,
 Mere cells,
 

 We are.
 

 And yet,
 And yet…
 

 We stand at the edge
 

 Of the ever expanding and contracting universes.
 Of the ever spreading and shrinking atoms.
 Of the ever departing and returning breath.
 

 Within our selves,
 Within our chest,
 Within our souls. 
 

 Yes, my friend, do close your eyes .
 Yes, my sister, do open your mouth.
 Yes, my son, do listen with your ears.
 

 and find the secrets nestled in your breath.
 and find the gems scattered in your breath.
 and find the peace nurtured in your breath. 
 

 Open your eyes,
 and remember it always.
 

 The secret,
 The key,
 The answer,
 

 That we will never be able to explain. 
 

 No voice,
 No claps,
 No words;
 

 Only the breath. 

21/10/19

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment 
 My heart the betrayer,
 

 How many years wasted 
 How many days that never happened.
 How many nights that froze me to the bones. 
 

 Still clinging to him.
 Still longing for him.
 Still dreaming of him.
 

 Isn’t the world wide enough?
 

 So many different faces 
 So many different stories
 So many different languages
 

 So much that could have happened.
 But it didn’t.
 

 Because all you wanted was his arms.
 Because all you wanted was his hands.
 Because all you wanted was his heart.
 

 But pray tell,
 

 Do you remember his face?
 Do you remember his voice?
 Do you remember his scent?
 

 Could you find him in a sea of people?
 Could you find him in a field of souls?
 Could you find him in the tumult of the end?
 

 Oh listen to my heart,
 Oh listen to my soul,
 Oh listen to my pen,
 

 What sighs full of wonder!
 What dreams full of magic!
 What stories full of insight!
 

 How will I ever be able to reason with them?
 

 Day after day I watch it trickle away.
 Night after night, I beg it to stay.
 Year after year, I feel the dust gathering.
 

 The life I could have had.
 

 Had I not glanced at you.
 Had I not heard your voice.
 Had I not glimpsed an endless wave in your eyes.
 

 It was a breath.
 It was a dream.
 It was a word.
 

 And my world was changed forever.
 

 My heart singing the same song year after year,
 My heart weaving the same fabric year after year.
 My heart rehearsing the same play year after year.  
 

 Without even wearing the right makeup and costume,
 Without even announcing a date for the opening,
 Without any orchestra playing in the gallery.
 

 Just the cadence of my treacherous heart.
 Just the hum of my overflowing heart.
 Just the sigh of my breaking heart. 
 

 So soft, so quiet,
 So gentle, so slow.
 So subtle, so close.
 

 I wish it could be over,
 But it never ends.
 

 How long does it take for cosmic dust to become a new star?
 How long does it take for a supernova to become a pulsar?
 How long does it take for a galaxy to collapse in a black hole?
 

 How long? How long?
 

 For mitosis?
 For replication?
 For the virus to spread?
 

 For the trees to die?
 For the ashes to be crushed?
 For the carbon to solidify?
 

 For earth to drink the river?
 For the heat to steal the droplets?
 For the rain to cry into the river?
 

 How long? How long?
 

 For the never-ending story.
 For the never-ending cycle.
 For the never.ending movement.
 

 On and on.
 

 My dreams and glimpses of you wax,
 My hope are harvested in the moonlight. 
 My wishful thinking wanes into a sickly trickle. 
 

 And yet,
 

 With every pump.
 With every thud.
 With every breath,
 

 My heart could remember you.
 

 Feeble crushable thing.
 Tender delicate muscle.
 Small and moldable tissue. 
 

 Wouldn’t it flatter the feathers on your head?
 Wouldn’t it thicken the mane around your face?
 Wouldn’t it give more color to the foliage in which you hide?
 

 It would be poetical.
 

 If all my thoughts,
 if all my breaths,
 if all my existence
 were for you.
 

 It would have been foolish.
 It would have been patthetic.
 It would have been a real waste.
 

 Look up, dear, look up.
 The infinite display of jewels and gems : forever beyond your reach.
 

 Look down, dear, look down.
 The ever flowing oceans of secrets : forever beyond your reach.
 

 Look in, dear, look in.
 The winding way only a soul can find : forever beyond your reach.
 

 I look up,
 And see the creation of the Loving.
 

 I look down,
 And I see the bestowal of the Everlasting.
 

 I look in,
 And I find my way to the Most High.
 

 And thus,
 

 With every pump,
 With every thud,
 With every breath,
 

 I remember Him.
 

 The One who created me.
 The One who holds me.
 The One to whom I will return.
 

 And I am free…
 

 Of my heart’s frailty.
 Of my heart’s naivety.
 Of my heart’s foolishness.
 

 And I am free.
 

 Of your flicker.
 Of your fright.
 Of your flight. 
 

 And I am free
 

 To love you,
 The fallible man. 
 

 To love myself.
 The imperfect woman. 
 

 To love my Creator,
 The Giver of Life.
 

 Free.
 

 To find compassion for you,
 and for my heart.
 

 To find gentleness for you,
 and for my heart.
 

 To find forgiveness for you,
 and for my heart. 
 

 Forever,
 

 Basking in His Light.
 Melting in His Mercy.
 Loving in His Love. 
 

 No, dear heart, I haven’t wasted anything..
 No dear heart,  I haven’t lost anything. 
 No, dear heart, I haven’t missed anything.
 

 It isn’t over.
 It isn’t too late.
 It isn’t all that there is.
 

 With every pump,
 With every thud,
 With every breath,
 

 Remember.
 Remember Him.
 Remember Him, and remain free.
 

 For that next ridge,
 For that next crest,
 For that next summit. .
 

 And life that keeps on going.
 

 In spite of the heartache that tear you.
 In spite of the ghosts who still linger.
 In spite of the wind which can only blow.
 

 Your heart grows.
 Your heart glows.
 Your heart beats… and beats… and beats.
 

 And remembers.
[Forever,


Basking in His Light.
Melting in His Mercy.
Loving in His Love. ]

18/10/19

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment 
 Careful word after word,
 Painstaking sentence after sentence,
 Flourishing page after page,
 

 I try to make sense of what you were.
 

 The leaves cover the pits of memory.
 The wax trickles into the hollow hopes.
 The ink always flows over the broken record.
 

 The same old story.
 The same old sentiment.
 The same old questions :
 

 Was it real?
 Was it true?
 Was it divin?
 

 There’s a mansion over a cliff.
 There’s a hall in the mansion.
 There’s a box in that hall.
 

 A music box that plays the same tune forever.
 

 I never go there.
 I hardly go there.
 I seldom go there.
 

 But I still linger in that wide white hall...
 

 For you,
 For me,
 For us.
 

 There I can collect mementos that only mean something to me.
 

 Feathers, white as snow.
 Songs, in foreign languages.
 Rocks, from different valleys.
 

 They all tell the same story.
 

 There can never be enough words.
 There can never be enough colors,
 There can never be enough notes.
 

 To describe what cannot be described.
 

 I keep on telling you that.
 You keep on driffiting.
 

 I sing you into existence.
 I hope you into flesh.
 I write you into posterity.
 

 You kept on telling me I didn’t know you.
 I kept on swearing that I knew you since before time.
 

 To express what cannot be expressed;
 

 I dance each and every meeting we shared.
 I paint every touch we didn’t share.
 I carve every hope we could have shared.
 

 If only,
 If only,
 If only.
 

 Listen,
 The song is playing again.
 

 Listen,
 It doesn’t mater if you don’t understand.
 

 Listen,
 Only your heart can catch the meaning.
 

 Did you ever let your heart listen?
 Did you ever let your soul listen?
 Did you ever let your whole being listen?
 

 Sometimes I wish I didn’t know about
 

 Your frailty
 Your insecurities 
 Your delicate ego.
 

 You thought you escaped before I could see
 

 Clearly
 Lethally
 Objectively
 

 Through your glamor 
 Through your armor 
 Through your ardor.
 

 You thought I’d run at the first glimpse 
 

 Of your bones
 Of your gums.
 Of your sinew.
 

 I see the boy.
 I see the young man.
 And I see the man.
 

 Where am I?
 

 Where you left me.
 Where your forgot me.
 Where you escaped me.
 

 Like a warrior queen,
 

 I never feared facing you.
 I never feared facing myself.
 I never feared facing the truth.
 

 Ugly and beautiful.
 Bold and shy.
 Heavy and light.
 

 But you did,
 Didn’t you?
 

 Like the fisherman and the skeleton lady.
 

 His flight made her cling.
 His terror made her grow.
 His vulnerability made her beautiful.
 

 But you never looked back.
 But you never turned back.
 But you never came back.
 

 To see what you gave birth to.
 To see what you gave growth to.
 To see what you gave beauty to.
 

 You ran,
 and you kept on running.
 and you’re still running.
 

 I started to grow,
 and I kept on growing.
 and I’m still growing.
 

 Like the stuff of nightmares.
 Like the stuff of legends.
 Like the stuff of epic poems.
 

 Roots that grow deeper,
 Trunk that grows thicker,
 Branches that grow higher.
 

 While the wind keeps on blowing,
 

 Leaves out of the way,
 Apples on their way, 
 Blossoms on your way.
 

 And now I see…
 

 How small you were.
 How frail you were.
 How scared you were.
 

 And even now, I forgive you.
 And even now, I esteem you.
 And even now, I love you.
 

 But only your shadow feels my echoes.
 But only the wind hears my praises.
 But only the silence holds my love.
 

 So be it!
 

 Keep on running.
 Keep on flying.
 Keep on fading.
 

 My love will remain. 
 

 Like the froth in the waves 
 Like the clouds in the sky.
 Like the dust in deep space.
 

 Erupting,
 Melding,
 Evolving. 
 

 On and on.
 

 Until the sky is on fire.
 Until the earth is la rug.
 Until the mountains are dust.
 

 And you cannot run anymore.
 

 From your own face.
 From your own fears. 
 From your own feelings.
 

 And Light is everywhere.
 And Love is everywhere.
 And Truth is everywhere.
 

 And we can only yield to it.
 

 Softly, like gauze.
 Gently, like silk.
 Celestially, like a breath. 
 

 Soul to soul,
 Eye to eye,
 Lips to lips.
 

 Entwined.
 Under the gentle Light of Truth.

23/09/19

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment

One droplet,
Two droplets
And here comes the rain.

Can you smell it?

The earth is singing.
The soil is humming.
The ground is crooning.

Oh so soft
so gentle.
so fierce.

and I raise my arms to the sky
and I swirl like a celestial body
and I feel my feet leaving the earth.

and I sing too

At the top of my lungs.
From the depth of my soul.
To the pain in my heart.

If only I were a bird.

Like the wise and brave hoopoe
Like the terrified but brave goldfinch
Like the disillusioned but brave owl .

I would fly without flailing  like they did…

Until I found you.
But will I ever find you?

Perhaps you were only the path.
Perhaps you were only the question.
Perhaps you were only the awakener.

To a higher path.
To a nobler oath.
To a brighter thirst.

To the One I belong to.

And yet you linger.
Like a feather in my lashes.

And yet you whisper.
Like a scent against my lips.

And yet, you always return,
Like autumns breezing against my back.

But I turn around,
You are gone.

What should I do, dear?

When they come to me,
with their hearts in their hands.

When they come to me,
with their confessions on their lips.

When they come to me,
with their sincerity on their cheeks…

I run.
I run away.

I run into the hazy woods.
I run to the crumbling summit.
I run to the ever tumbling sea.

But I never find you.
You are gone.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

And I remain alone.

Dancing without music,
Waiting without hoping,
Hoping without thinking.

Never think, dear, never think.
Lest you wake up your own destruction.

Rationality.
Lucidity.
Reason.

I swing them away.
I minstrel them away.
I dream them away.

Until I find my never-never land again.
Until I find your silhouette in the glimmer.
Until I find peace in this tale I spin.

17/09/19 14:00

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment

There’s a green and golden field.
Far away.

There’s a turquoise and glass ocean.
Nearby.

There’s an emerald and amber forest.
Within me.

Where you stood next to me.

Before the world.
Before time.
Before life.

A summit within the stars.
A nest within a supernova.
A plain within a galaxy.

Spiraling
Intersecting
Merging.

It came back to me,

In a dream.
In a flash.
In a breath.

Was it centuries ago?
Was it now?
Was it after our death?

We stood,

Face to face.
Hand in hand.
Soul to soul.

And you finally could speak the truth :

You knew me.
You remembered me.
You loved me.

And we were finally free from

The veils of our world.
The pandemonium of our society.
The wounds of our lives.

Healed and whole.
Whole and healed.

I open my eyes.
I stand motionless.
and I look around me.

I am still here.
You are not.
This life must still be braved.

Without you.
Without your hand.
Without your words.

Holding on only to

A fading dream
A carefully crafted story.
A lingering yet unfathomable memory.

And to the One who created us together.
And to the One who brought us together.
And the One who will bring us together.

After this long journey.
After this long tribulation.
After this long darkness.

Back to that green field.
Back to that golden sunset.
Back to that crumbling castle.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

… And those unforgettable words.