Category: love

Together again

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment
07/04/24

There is an open gate
Waiting for you

There is a softer path
 Waiting for you

There is a blooming garden 
Waiting for you.

For every angry word
I plant thornless roses.

For every bruise on your heart
I plant a deeply rooted tree.

For every day without the warmth of your heart
I plant a fragrant bush.

The pain that boils over
This anger that burns over
The betrayal that rots over

All over those memories
All over those ties
All over those paths

Turning a garden into a furnace.
Wild fires raging through.

Turning an open palm into a fist.
Oil spilling over the ocean.

Turning a healing word into an accusation.
Nuclear waste seeping into the earth.

Breathe in.
Breathe out.

Let the fires die down.
Let pride melt away.
Let your heart open…

Into that luxuriant garden,
That I know.

Into that balmy sun beam,
That I have always known.

Into that dawn chorus,
That I shall always know.

Beyond the veils of a hurt ego.
Beyond the roar of a broken pride.
Beyond the huffing of an unsure heart.

There is a presence.
There is a heart.
There is a boy…

Whose laughter always invite my own.

I shall wait,
Until ashes give way to saplings.

I shall wait,
Until the waste gives way to cornflowers.

I shall wait,
Until the uproar gives way to peace.

The gate will remain open.
The path will remain thornless.
The garden will remain blooming.

And our hands will meet again.
And our laughter will mingle again.
And our hearts will burrow together again.

Together again.

Let spring raise the forest once more.
Let the birds nest in the forest once more.
Let hope echo in birdsongs once more.

It’s a promise,
It’s a plea,
It’s a prayer.

Together again.

Real

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment
03/09/23


Give me some absence
to feel your presence.

Give me some distance
to feel your presence.

Give me some silence
to feel your presence.

But you are so thirsty
But you are so hungry
But you are so lonely

You’d swallow me whole

In a gulp
In a bite
In a swirl.

Holding so tightly
Keeping so tightly
Clinging so tightly

That I become dust.

I was once crimson flames
I was once gushing rains
I was once bursting chains

I was once mesmerized
I was once capsized
I was once electrified

Divine anguish
Dizzying euphoria
Horrifying crash

Burn
Burn
into ashes.

It was easier to love
It was easier to cherish
It was easier to hold

When I couldn’t hold
When I couldn’t be held.

From afar
From a distance
From another galaxy

So much easier to love

Perfection
Apparence
Surface

Less dangerous
Less perilous
Less real…

And now reality engulfed me.
And now love beholds me.
And now truth encounters me.

Not as polished
Not as perfect
Not as phony

Real.

Raw
Boring
Frazzled

Real.

One knock
Another knock
And here we come…

To another land

Too tangible
Too overwhelming
Too fleshy

To only dream
To only read
To only admire.

Real.
Like a ring on your finger.

Real.
Like a hand on your hand.

Real
Like a laugh mingled with your laugh.

Speck of Dust

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment
31/08/23
Time can erase
Canyons of anguish

Time can ease
Valleys of sadness

Time can appease
Oceans of loss.

How easily each continent forgot…

The wear and tear,
The erupting crust,
The burning forests.

After all,

Nothing is created
Nothing is lost
Everything is transformed.

From ashes, fuel.
From fuel, fumes.
From pain, wisdom.

Forever spinning around the sun,
Forever greeting the full moon,
Forever clinging to this system.

Forever until time…

Holds still.
Crashes down.
Rises up.

And we are free from this yoke.

Seasons dance away.
Days whirl away.
Waves cower away.

Only to return.

And that thread remains,
Doesn’t it?

And that connection remains,
Doesn’t it?

And those memories remain,
Don’t they?

But what do they mean to you?
But what do they mean to me?

Ask the Grand canyon about
How mighty used to be the Colorado river.

Ask the Appalachians about
How close was the Caledonian range.

As the continents about
How safe Pangea felt.

Ages pass by
Seconds trickle by.
Lifetimes fade by.

And what is left of those times of closeness?

– That illusion –

Scars like ridges, mountains and summits
Dark circles like steep slope edges
Shadows like volcanic ashes

Spreading
Scattering
Fading

Who remembers Tambora’s destruction, anymore?

Other than the mountains,
Other than the oceans
Other than the fossils?

Frozen in time.
Stolen in time.
Beholden in time.

Yet,

We are not set in amber.
We are not buried in ashes.
We are not covered in dirt.

Our limbs are free,
Our foliage is bright,
Our sap is fast.

We are given seasons.

To live,
To mourn
To forget,
To remember.

To live, again.

Renewed
Transformed
Reborn.

But,
What of the past?

Those leftover of supernovas,
Who create new solar systems.

Those ashes of forgotten creatures,
Who feed those ever growing trees.

Those sunken mountains,
Who harbor precious metals.

Weaving the past into the future.
Weaving the future back to the past.

Interwoven
Interlaced  
Interchanged.

What will remain, tell me?

Of those fleeting feelings –
Of those lingering senses –
Of those fading ghosts –

What will be forgotten, tell me?

I see you clearly now.

A speck of dust.
A melacnholy thistle.
A dust of gold.

Nothing much to hold
but enough to speculate.

And yet,
Unforgettable.

Wastelands
Forgotten lands,
Sinking lands.

Let them vanish.

Let a new world rise.
Let a new days rise.
Let a new star rise.

So bright
So warm
So earnest

Blinding us to the past.

Patience, my dear

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment
22/08/23
They say summer will never end.
They say this heat will never end
They say this this wait will never end

But I've seen my friendly robin.
But I've heard my loyal robin.
But I've felt my gentle robin

He told me,

Autumn is in the air.

The flaking oak
The drooping aspen
The wilting hazelnut

Have told me,

Autumn is in the air.

My tired limbs
My heavy head
My thirsty skin

Have told me

Autumn is in the air.

And yet,
This heat keeps on growing

Like a baking pie
Like a deadly disease
Like a scalding punishment.

Another almost cool dawn
Another balmy morning
Another sweltering afternoon.

They call it a dome of heat

Doomsday, rather.

The grass is scorched
The earth is scarred 
The forest is scattering…

Limb after limb
Leaf after leaf
Tendril after tendril.

Before a wildfire can reach them.

Another not yet warm breeze before the roaring oven of afternoon.

Don't forget,

Water for the plants
Water for our hands
Water for the birds.

Water, 

Every precious droplet,
Like diamonds.
Every healing drop,
Like pearls.
Every  surviving moist,
Like gold.

This is our season of waiting,
My love 

Soon,
Autumn will come.

Soon,
The heat will subside.

Soon,
Our hands will be joined.

Until then,

We must cling to a cooling hope,
We must cling to a shady rest.
We must cling to a breezy prayer.

That we may see the end of this scalding summer.

That we may reach that next step of fulfillment. 

That we may reach that cabin in the woods.

And pray,

The fire doesn't reach us.
Impatience doesn't mislead us.
Fatigue doesn't overwhelm us.

Patience,
My dear.

The return of the gardener

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment
02/08/23
The wolves are back.

Roaming
Perusing
Owning

Knowing no borders.

Lock your doors,
Close your shutters,
Draw your curtains,

And let them roam…

As that brave soul steps into a new world.

Beyond the sea
Beyond the mountains
Beyond the woods

How far he has walked.

Never to turn back
Never to run back
Never to look back.

It's destiny;

Written in that Book
Written in that hand
Written in that horizon.

That land he has crossed into
That land he has been invited into
That land he has set camp into

Was once so lush
Was once so green
Was once so fragrant.

Oh so very wild!
Oh so very pure!
Oh so very fresh!

A sight to behold!
A sight to cherish!
A sight to protect!

Vulnerable
Free
Pristine.

But it was discovered…

By the wrong eyes.
By the wrong heart.
By the wrong hands.

Pillaged.
Emptied.
Sullied.

Until that magical kingdom was bereft of its beauty.

The invaders left
The usurpers left
The pirates left.

Autumn covered the earth
Winter swept through the woods
Spring sprinkled the fields
Summer flourished across the orchards.

Once
Twice.

Will they return?

Fear in the mist
Ghosts in the marshes
Memories in the ponds.

A newcommer.
A wayfare
A stranger

Will he destroy?

The land was quiet.
The kingdom was bare.
The fields were waiting.

Tendrils after tendrils
Pebbles after pebbles
Drops after drops

He gave new life to this silent land.

No conqueror here

A gardener
A tender
A protector

Of all this is fair
Of all that is pure
Of all that is gold.

Who are you?

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment
15/02/23
There’s a mirror in front of me
There’s an echo around me

Reflecting back my own self
Echoing back my own words…

With a hint of something else.

Hello !?
 Is there’s someone out there?

Someone that I understand
Someone who understands me
Someone like me.

Oh that looks so familiar.
Oh that sounds so familiar.
It must be home.

I hold out my hands
I open my arms
And I hold for dear life.

Finally.

And the dream fades away
And the ghost slips away
And the  apparition runs away.

Leaving me scattered.
Leaving me northless
Leaving me breathless.

Filled with questions…

Who are you?

When you are not pleasing someone.
When you are not echoing someone.
When you are not mirroring someone?

Who are you?

When you are not hiding yourself
When you are not painting yourself.
When you are not imagining yourself?

Who are you?

Questions
Echoes
Silence.

You don’t even know.
You don’t even wonder.
You don’t even dare.

And yet,

There’s a spark.
There’s a whisper.
There’s a rhythm

In your heartbeat
In your gaze
In your soul

That mesmerizes me.

Who are you?

When you are not behind a screen.
When you are not lost in translation.
When you are not behind a smart quote.

Who are you?

Intrigued,
The cat is trapped.

Intrigued,
The bird is caged.

Intrigued,
The wolf is killed.

All that remains is…

A fur-less creature
A skin-less nymph
A coat-less beast.

Still,

Feathers can grow back
Fur can grow back.
Skin can grow back.

Regenerate.

And a soul is indestructible. 

Grow
Glow
Go

On and on.

But what of those

Whose souls are tainted
Whose souls are lost
Whose souls are torn

What of those poor souls?

Who are you?
Without knowing your soul.

Who are you?
Without cleaning your soul.

Who are you?
Without mending your soul.

May you find healing.
May you find safety.
May you find peace…

With the Creator.

Who knows my soul.
Who knows your soul.
Who knows our end.

From the valley of love – onwards

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment

02/12/22

Dear phantom
Dear Ghost
Dear Mirage

Wisp of air
Breath of wind
Tendril of breeze

Fading
Sleeping
Smouldering.

Ashes

To scatter
To bury
To nourish

Deeply anchored roots.

You were but a chirp
You were but a melody
You were but a longing

In the valley of love.

All valleys must be crossed
All mountains must be climbed
All hollows must be weathered.

I wander on…

This new summit was bare and craggy
This new path was drab and slippery
This new valley is silent and misty.

Far from you - 

Deceitful illusion
Tantalizing dream
Beautiful delusion;

How very quiet it is
How very lonely it is
How very bitter it is.

In this quietness, there’s a song-
In this loneliness, there is A Presence-
In this bitterness, there is a hue of honey.

In absence…

I am and yet I am not.

New feathers are growing
New wings are aching
New notes are tinkling.

Renewed
Reawakened
Returned

To a new form
To a new hope
To a new mind.

Tired old soul.
Childish young sou.

Unique soul
Belonging
to
the

ONE.

New is foreign

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment
22/06/22
I don’t want a new dress
I don’t want a new face
I don’t want a new love

New is unknown.
New is foreign.
New is tiresome.

I want to be known.
I want to know.
To know without words.

I want to slip in a warm home.
I want to slip in a familiar bed.
I want to drift in familiar woods.

I dream of them…

The ghost who slipped through my fingers
The ghost who slit open my heart
The ghosts who could only linger;

Never stay.

Who are those strangers?
Stranger to my heart.

Who are those foreigners?
Foreigner to my heart.

Who are those intruders?
Intruders to my heart.

Can’t let them know.
Can’t let them in.
Can’t let them stay.

Tired rain-heavy roses

Scattering scattering
Lolling lolling.
Fading fading.

Is it too late?
Is it too soon?

Patience
Peace.
Prayer.

My lips move
Wordlessly.

My wings move
Flightlessly

My heart moves
Restlessly.

Love always sputters out
Love always springs out
Love always sprouts out.

Ivy on crumbly towers
Roses on crumbly gates
Daisies on crumbly lands.

Life and Love
Love and Life.

Lush leaves glistering 
Thick sap sputtering
Unseen fungi sprouting.

What is old springs new life.
New life springs from the old.

But none of those strangers are you.

And yet,
I must embrace the new season.

And yet,
I must embrace the new songs.

And yet,
I must embrace the new awakening.

We are made of atoms
We are made of sighs
We are made of particles

of the same stars
of the same rocks
of the same earth

And perhaps, 

That spark
That glint
That echo

could be found in another.

For when we love the moon,
We love reflected light.

For when we love lakes,
We love reflected light.

For when we love others
We love reflected Light.

And in that Light

We are forever entwined
We are forever found
We are forever united.

And perhaps my prayers 

become gems
become roses
become warmth

bestowed on you.

And you know you are not forgotten.
And you know you are not unloved.
And you know you are not hated.

And you know…

As God decrees.
As God allows.
As God enables.

Don’t bring me roses

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment

01/06/22

Don’t give me luscious roses,
if you’re not going to stay.

Don’t give me pretty words,
if you’re not going to stay.

Don’t give me high hopes,
if you’re not going to stay.

My heart is a tower
My heart is a mountain
My heart is a galaxy

Unreachable

Some like to climb mountains
to claim them.

Some like to destroy towers,
to conquer them.

Some like to blast galaxies,
to erase them.

Try as they might,
my heart keeps on beating.

It doesn’t beat for me.
It doesn’t beat for them.
It beats our her Creator.

But you see…

The little girl is starting to get lost
The young woman is staring to lose it.
This woman is starting to become tired.

So tired.

I wish I could rest on that shoulder.
I wish I could rest against that chest.
I wish I could rest between these hands.

Would I be safe enough?

But it isn’t for me to decide.

My life,
Your life,
Our destinies

Are not in our hands.

Don’t bring me roses 

If you cannot hear my voice
If you cannot feel my soul
If you cannot get my drift.

Do not send me texts

No, good mornings.
No, good nights,
No, cute emojis;

If you are as light as a leaf blown away.

My roots go deep,
My trunk is thick,
My branches reach high…

High
Higher
and higher

Flies my soul;

Unreachable
Untameable
Unreadable

Liked a bird.

Say what you want
Do what you must
Go where you go.

I shall keep on rising.

My heart is…

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment 
I dreamt that moment
so many times

I prayed for that moment
so many times

I imagined that moment
so many times.

Curtain lifting
Dawn breaking
Mists rising

You & me
Me & you.

Face to face,
Voice to voice,
 Smile to mile.

But you are silent
But you are deaf
But you are gone

And I’m still here.

Loving myself
Holding myself
Keeping myself

Yet, still, yearning for you.
Yet, still, hoping for you.
Yet, still, longing for you.

For you, 
Love is longing.

For you,
Love is pain.

For you,
Love is distance.

And I am gone, now.

What I wished
What I hoped
What I craved

Wasn’t to be.

God knows best.

And I wish to love Him
more than you.

And I wish to trust Him
more than myself.

And I wish to find Him
more than a lover.

God knows best.

That man isn’t you.

He spoke like you.
He wrote like you.
He weaved like you.

Pretty words
Pretty prayers
Pretty feelings.

Matching his words with deeds
Unlike you.

Keeping his words light
Unlike you.

Respecting me with his words
Unlike you.

I wish i could write an elegy for you.

But you are still living,
There’s still hope for you.

And for me?

There’s possibility
There’s hope
There’s tomorrow.

Without you

My heart,

breaking
hoping
striving

Without you.