Category: love

Trust To Return

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment
28/08/21
To the sparrow
In the morning,
I trust you.

To the violets
In the spring,
I trust you.

To the wandering knight,
In the night,
I trust you.

To my Lord,
In every heartbeat,
I trust you.

To love a flickering feather
To love a withering flower,
To love a wayfaring stranger,

Is to trust.

Trust,

that you will return.
that you will bloom.
that you will stay.

And how do I trust my Creator?

In trusting His Timing,
In trusting His Planning,
In trusting His creatures.

The windows are open,
Curtain billowing.

The doors are open,
Candles flickering.

The arms are open,
Heart fluttering.

Do I trust you?
Do I love you?
Do I believe you?

You,

who is gone but remain.
who is there but is here.
who is with me but with her.

But does she even exist?

Or, is she a creature of my fear?
Or, is she your open exit door?
Or, is she a passing stranger?

The wind roars and roars.
The house sighs and sighs.
The lone girl sings and sings.

The woods are empty now.
The night is empty now.
The road ahead is empty now.


The friends,
The lover,
The future

are  swept away.

Like golden crunchy leaves,
Like barely ripped acorn,
Like forgotten soft feathers-

The path only remains.

Off and on,
I must go.

Up and down,
I must go.

High and low,
I must go.

But must I flee alone?
But must I sleep alone?
But must I weep alone?

Always alone.

Belonging to none.
Belonging to myself.
Belonging to my Lord.

My Lord,
My Cherisher,
My Creator,

Where must I go?

I never aimed to be a statue.
I never aimed to be an exemplar.
I never aimed to be a banner.

I just wished for arms to hold me.
I just wished for a home to behold.
I just wanted children to hold.

Hold and held.
To be held and to hold.

So very human.
So very natural.
So very simple.

And yet,
Forever out of reach.

For the girl lost on the path.
For the girl lost in the mist.
For the girl lost in the marshes.

Will he find her?

The knight who had to leave?
The king who had to grow?
The seeker who had to find?

Or will he go on…

To another dream.
To another chase.
To another marsh.

Does he know that what he fears

Follows him.
Holds him.
Shapes him.

And he cannot

Shake it.
Lose it.
Break it.

Without facing his dark night.

My love,
My knight,
My sparrow,

I trust you…

To embrace that pain.
To pierce that pain.
To overcome that pain.

And rise again…

And rise,
And fly,
And soar…

Until we meet again.

Where did you go?

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment

9/08/21

My mind is a forest

Boundless,
Ever growing.
Ever tangling.

My mind is a house,
deathless,
Ever glowing
Ever warm.

My mind is a lake
Dauntless,
Ever glimmering,
Ever moving.

I wander from tree to tree.
I wander from room to room.
I wander from coast to coast.

Where did you go?

Beyond the house,
Beyond the forest,
Beyond the lake,

Into the deep blue sea.
Into the cold black sea.

At first,

There was a crescent moon,
To guide me.

Then,
There was a full moon,
to blind me.

And now,
There’s a winning moon,
failling me.

My arms are sore,
My feet are frozen,
My eyes are burning.

I cannot last longer.

Where did you go?

There’s a trickle on my cheek.
There’ a sickle in my eyes
There’s a ripple on the lake.

And a voice telling me,

I don’t want you to follow me.
I don’t want you to care for me.
I don’t want you to love me.

My mouth is full of salt,
My mouth is full of water,
My mouth is full of bitterness.

Dearest,
Do you think a human being can control her heart?

Maybe you do…

Yours is hidden in a high tower.
Yours is hidden in a lost island.
Yours is hidden in a wild ocean.

That no one can cross.

Only fools venture to those waves.
Only lovers venture through the silence.
Only madwomen venture to that darkness.

But look through my eyes….

Beyond the waves I see peace.
Beyond the silence I see smiles.
Beyond the darkness I see a flicker.

Is it a candle?
Is it a star?
Is it a wildfire?

Burning and burning.

Like my heart,
Like my mind,
Like my hope.

And all I want is to…

Dance until I fall.
Sing until I falter.
Swim until I drown.

Lost in the motion
Lost in the emotion.
Lost in the ocean.

Lost but willing to be found.

To that last enduring tree

~ Layla ~ 4 Comments
07/08/21

All trees must die.

Some turn into ashes in a blaze.
Some cave into their rotten inside.
Some are pulled out from their roots.

The first day is horrendous.

Birds chirp nervously and fly to and fro.
Squirrels screech indignantly and hop into the emptiness.
Children look up anxiously running up and down.

Where did it go?

I’d rather your stomp remained.
I’d rather your roots remained,
I’d rather your bark remained.

Keeping me anchored on this earth.

Lonely sentinel, tell me…

Where are your forefathers?
Where are your mothers?
Where are your brothers?

You are surrounded by

Bricks
Concrete
Tired tired old houses.

But where are your people ?

I know a pine tree just like you,
across that field.

I know an oak tree just like you
on the other end of that road.

I know a beech just like you
behind that house.

They remember too…

When my own people were not here.

And you swayed,
And you stood,
And you rose,

in the thick mist.
over the marshes.
into everlasting woods.

For centuries,
For millenniums,
For light years.

Or not…

Fire, your enemy, always existed.
Wind, your enemy, always existed.
Hale, your enemy, always existed.

My forehead against your bark.
My lips against your leaves.
My fingers entwined in your shoots.

Tell me, tell me…

Of the great abyss of your history.
Of the great bitterness of your history.
Of the great melody of your history.

Yes, that song…

I hear, when the winds blows,
I learn, when the breeze rises.
I join, when the night falls.

And time doesn’t mean anything anymore.

I stand with you,
against the storm.

I brace with you,
against the cold.

I rise with you,
against all odds.

And we long for dawn.
And we long for spring.
And we long for forests.

Together,
We’ll last longer.

Together,
We’ll rise higher.

Together,
We’ll grow deeper.

A happy homely forest.

To keep your scars safe.
To keep my anguish safe.
To keep our hope safe.

My might oak,
My tender aspen,
My gentle maple.

I know how lonely you are.
I know how scared you are.
I know how brave you are.

As you waver.
As you shiver.
As you shudder.

Losing limbs,
Losing leaves,
Losing space.

and yet you endure….

Like a prayer,
Like a dream,
Like a hope…

Resilient.

An acorn tumbling on the ground.
A stem rising from the ground.
A trunk reaching for the sky.

How utterly beautiful.
How deeply moving.
How softly yearning.

For that hope rooted in you.
For that gentleness weaved in you.
For that richness drooping from you.

My shelter,
My strengthener
My reviver. 

Ever growing.

Under His Grace,
Under His Bounty,
Under His Care.

A mystical love

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment 
July 2021

The mermaid slept
tangled in the pirate’s arms.

The fearless ranger slept,
entwined in the werewolf’s arms.

The elven princess slept,
curled into her knight’s arms.

Morning came,

And they were once more separated

with a screen
with kilometres
with silence.

The galleon left the deep sea.
The wolf left his hide in the forest.
The knight left the castle in his heart..

He goes through his day never knowing,

A fairy plays in his beard.
A naiad swim in his tears.
A huma flies in his daydreams.

Wherever she goes she can

See a feather spiralling to her.
Hear a bird beckoning to her.
Feel a flutter of wings next to her.

And how she smiles!
Is he smiling too?

And how she hopes!
Is he hoping too?

And she prays!
Is he praying too?

How can she know when

All she has are dreams.
All she has are words.
All she has are images.

To touch from your fingertips.
To hear from your ears.
To feel from your lips.

Who is your lover?

Although

Your hearts
Your minds
Your souls

have already met.

A long long time ago.

When all was One.
When all was none.

And we promised together,
And we witnessed together,
And we learned together,

The destination of our course.

Let me try,
Let them send armies,
Let them use reason.

As we call for the protection of Our Creator

The climbing rose and the oak tree

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment 
There’s a rose growing on this tree.

White
Bedwed
Blushing.

The tired weather beaten oak says

Get away.
Climb away.
Scatter away,

I am rotten inside.
I am ever uprooted.
I am never growing.

One thorn nestles against his barlk.
One petal falls to his roots
One stem reaches for his branch.

The hopeful ever blushing rose whisper

Your trunk is pure.
Your roots are fragrant.
Your branches reach for the stars.

He bristles,
She shivers.

Her seasons come and go,
scattering petals.

His seasons come and go,
scattering leaves.

And acorns
that nestle against her roots.

Furious winds,
Blistering cold,
Deafening rains,

And yet she still clings to him.
And yet he still draws her closer.

How long has it been?
How many years has it been?
How many springs has it been?

Long enough,
Too long,
Yet not long enough.

Another bruise blossom
Another sweet fragrance
Another soft caress.

Another branch,
Tall and strong.

Another leaf,
Light and vibrant.

Another lenticel,
Deep and thirsty.

So thirst…

For that blossom.
For that fragrance.
For that caress.

To feel human again.
To feel held again.
To feel real again.

And love…

Now you know

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment 
After the last sunbeam,
After the last goodnight,
After the last prayer,

Another girl rises.

He doesn’t know her.
You don’t know her.
They don’t know her.

She’s so very different,

From all that wisdom,
From all that composure,
From all that frozen image.

The moon isn’t distant anymore.
The lover isn’t distant anymore.
The damsel isn’t distant anymore.

She’s all,

Skin
Lips
and throat.

Singing,
Dancing,
Swaying.

Like a wild creature,
Like a forgotten dream,
Like a mischievous fae,

finally set free.

It’s dark,
It’s late,
It’s deep.

Timeless like the galaxy,
Roaring like the waves,
Twirling like the leaves.

Alone,
Lonely,
Lovelorn.

But burning so brightly
But yearning so deeply
But breathing so lightly.

You dream of her,
sometimes.

You hope for her,
sometimes.

You glimpse her,
Sometimes.

But she’s ever out of your reach.

Her deepest love
Her strongest bond
Her brightest moment

Wrapped in plastic.
Cloaked in wires.
Scattered in codes.

01101001
 00100000
 01101100 
01101111
 01110110
 01100101
 00100000 
01111001
 01101111 
01110101
 00100000
 01010101
 11000111 
10100111 
01110101 
01110010

Now you know,
Don’t you?

Now you run,
Don’t you?

Now you vanish,
Don’t you.

Fading Melody

~ Layla ~ 2 Comments

26/06/21

I learned a new language
To forget about the harsh wind.

I learned a new language
To forget about forgetting the wind.

I learned a new language
To grow wings.

And I flew

Through the familiar forests,
Beyond the gentle hills,
Over to the lonely summit.

May I rest here?

I spoke with words I didn’t know.
I sang with words I didn’t know.
I dreamt in words I didn’t know.

It made the rocks rumble.
It makes the pebbles scatter.
It made the land slide.

And my wings were struck.

I fluttered,
and fluttered.

I frayed,
and frayed.

I failed,
and failed.

I heard a voice…

Was it the torrent?
Was it the pine tree?
Was it the lone wolf?

It was you.

And I sang,
how I sang!

And I paused….

and listened,
and waited,
and waited,

What was this song?

Your gentle and earnest answer?
A trick woven by rustling leaves?
An fading echo of my own plea.

Foolish little thrush.

What language must you learn this time?
What lesson must you learn this time?
What direction must you learn this time?

Where?
Why?
How?

Tired,
tired little wings.

Broken,
broken little heart.

Shattered,
shattered little dream.

You were too slow.
You were too trusting.
You were too gentle,

To avoid the hurling hale.
To evade the rushing rain,
To escape the swirling river.

And now your beak is full of sand.
And now your wings are full of muck.
And now your heart is leaden with moss.

How will you escape again?
How will you hope again?
How will you learn again?

And you wait,
wait forever.

To hear that distant melody again.

Words of Patience

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment

21/06/21

May my words be

Soft and gentle,
Kind and tender,
Pure and true.

May my words fall,

Like petals on your roots.
Like feathers on your shoulders.
Like a rain on your open palms.

Warm,
Soft,
True.

May my thoughts,
May my prayers,
May my whisper,

Light your way.
Light your pain.
Light your step.

May they weave a cloak to protect you.
May they grow wings to carry you.
May they make flowers bloom to delight you.

Oh those words,

They grow in the sincerest tears.
They grow in the deepest love.
They grow in the softest prayer.

They are all I have…

As the miles stretch between us.
As the darkness stretch between us.
As the silence stretch between us.

A holy silence,
A kind silence,
A loving silence.

May my words

Build a warm fire in your heart.
Stitch a sot pearl on your soul.
Weave a comforting dream in your sleep.

May they keep you safe.
May they keep you sane.
May they keep you sacred.

May they be songs,
May they be poems,
May they be prayers.

Safely
Trustingly,
Hopefully,

kept in the care of Out Creator.

Until I can,

Whisper them to you.
Sing them to you.
Entrust them to you.

With my eyes,
With my hands,
With my lips.

Solace

~ Layla ~ 4 Comments

02/05/21

Do you remember,

When the world stood still.
When the morning was still.
When we both stood still.

How quiet it was.
How peaceful it was.
How fragile it was.

Listening.
Yearning.
Hoping.

They said,

It was the end of an era.
It was the end of a story.
It was the end of the world.

But we stood still…

And listened,
To the birds sighing. 

And yearned,
For our hands to knot.

And hoped,
For the distance to melt-

They said,

Death, death,
Everywhere.

We said,

Love, love,
Everywhere.

And yet,
the birds kept on tweeting.

And yet,
our hands kept on yearning.

And yet,
our distance kept on hoping.

But we are still waiting.

Waiting for this page to turn,
Waiting for this fear to burn,
Waiting for this love to yearn.

Yearn,
Yearn,
Still yearning…

To hold,
To touch,
To kiss.

And still, they cry

Death,
Death,
Death!

What of those hands,
Who hold on to air?

What of those cheeks,
Who are kissed by the wind?

What of those hearts,
Who are embraced by darkness?

All those voices calling 
through the curtain of rain.

All those shoulders shaking,
through the hours of night.

All those smiles fading,
Through the shield of masks.

Echo through me.

And we pray,
And we hope,
And we promise,

Once this is over…

We will hold & cherish.
We will keep & love.
We will kiss & reach.

No one will be forgotten…

Not those who kept on going.
Not those who faded away.
Not those who stumbled down.

Never forgotten.

And you,
Oh you my dear.

My hope,
My secret,
My hidden gem.

Oh you...

You hear it,
You sense it,
You feel it,

What cannot be written yet.

And I join those who are waiting.
And I join those who are yearning.
And I join those who are hoping.

As we pray…

For the night to be over,
For the masquerade to be over,
For the battle to be over…

And for the joy of homecoming.
And for the joy of reunions.
And for the joy of shared laughter.

Believing,
Hoping,
Knowing,

We will get there.
We will live through.
We will rise over.

Those shadows…

Until we reach the pale dawn.
Until we reach the crescent moon.
Until we reach the next ridge,

That little cabin in the woods.
That bright window in the night.
That open door in the cold.

… And solace.

Scent Of A Garden

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment 
03/04/21

There is the desire to plunge,
There is the desire of the abyss,
There is the desire of the darkness.

Just forget it.
Just let it rot.
Just let it dry.

Why even bother? 

Oh but there’s also a scent.

From a flower,
both familiar yet exotic.

Oh but there’s also a song.

From a voice,
both familiar yet foreign.

Oh but there’s a hope.

From a name,
Both familiar yet outlandish.

All mingled,
All intertwined,
All melting.

Into a single burst.

Is it divine love?

Your branches are too heavy,
to carry me.

Your core is too hollow,
to hold me.

Your stem is too thin,
to find me.

But your roots are so deep…

Under the cool darkness,
Under the cover of dreams,
Under the rich canopy of life,

Our souls meet,
Our hearts beat,
Our souls merge.

I am not strong either.

My wings are tired,
My song is wavering.
My flight is halted.

How to go?
Where to go?
When to go?

Must I leave?

I ask the ever glimmering stars.
I ask the ever roaring winds.
I ask the ever rising sun.

What would they know?

I turn inward,
I turn upward,
I turn, turn and turn Home.

Hush,
Let me listen.

Heart,
Soul,
Time,

Hush,
Let me listen.

Deep,
deep in the night.

Late,
late in the tide.

Far,
far away from you.

There’s a mournful cry.
There’s a longing plea.
There’s a soft surrender.

What is spoken to a heart,
What is poured in a soul,
What is etched in a mind,

from Above,

Cannot be explained.
Cannot be written.
Cannot be rhymed.

And yet I try.

The waves crash over us.
The mountains rise over us.
The dust storms rise over us.

And there’s only one thought…

I must hold on to that branch.
I must hold on to that hope.
I must hold on to that song.

Oh they rage,
those squalls.

Oh they rage,
those thoughts.

Oh they rage,
those hours.

But I hold on…

Losing my feathers,
Losing my direction,
Losing my tune,

Have I lost it?

Yet, 
All tempest must end…

And tomorrow,
I will pour my love to your heart.

And tomorrow,
We will pray from our soul and heart.

And tomorrow,
We will watch those flowers blossom in our heart.

For,
that garden belongs to both of us

For,
those prayers belong to both of us.

For,
that heart belong to both of us.

You & me.
Me & you.
Us.

There’s no turning back, isn’t it?