Category: love

15/10/20

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment

The tree is long gone

But the seedling remains
But the flames remain
But the ashes remain

Burning,
Glowing,
Warming.

It’s the campfire,
The lone candle,
That first spark

Like a kiss never tasted
Like a word never spoken
Like an embrace never felt.

Here,
yet never here.

Ghosts,
Hopes,
And dreams

Are all the same.

They exist in the roaring wind
They exist in the gushing rain
They exist in the snapping banches –

And the wind,

Blows,
Blows
And blows.

So many voices in each gust
So many hopes in the cascading leaves
So many thoughts in the wavering branches.

Some bend,
Some waver,
Others break.

Which one am I?
Which one are you?
Which ones is our love?

Or is it still an acorn?
Or is it already digested?
Or were we too green when we fell?

There’s a knight that wanders
There’s a traveler that lingers
There’s a lost boy that wonders

He dreams of a fairy maiden…
He dreams of a homely wife…
He dreams of a loving lover…

He dreams
as strongly as the wind blows.

He dreams
as gently as the leaves scatter.

He dreams
as deeply as these roots seek.

Until she turned to him, and told him,

You are in my dreams,
You are in my prayers,
You are in my heart.

The branch falls in the mud
The twigs slapped the trunk.
The acorns spattered on the asphalt.

So much for the dream….

Reality stands tall
Reality reaches high
Reality draws deep.

An oak tree.

Reality….

There are no knights nor fairies,
There are no traveller and nor wife
There are no young and fresh lovers.

There is you
There is me.
Here we are…

Every line,
Every feather,
Every crack…

As imperfect as reality.
As real as true beauty.
As imperfect as true beauty

An acorn,
A seedling,
A shell,

… Hope.

14/10/20

~ Layla ~ 4 Comments

Let me embroider flowers where they have torn your soul.
Let me plant flowers where they have bruised your heart.
Let me spread good prayers where they have carved your mind

Let me,
Will you let me?

Or will you push me away

You hear me when I am silent.
You hear me when you are away.
You hear me when we are drifting.

And your words startle me,
And your word awaken me,
And your words make me hope again.

Just like the wind,
Just like a dream,
Just like a feather,

You’re gone again.

I remain to myself.
I return to myself.
I collapse into myself-

Silence
Silence
and hush.

Hush,
my little bird,
he will return.

Hush,
my little dream,
he must return.

Hush,
my little heart,
he will return.

For the love of a butterfly wing
I’ve learned to keep quiet.

For the love of a fading dawn
I’ve learned to keep it low.

For the love of an unsung song
I’ve learned to keep it private.

How would I like to be a bird

Singing of hope and love
Seeding hope and love
Winging to hope and love.

Without any fear of

the oncoming storm
the ongoing war.
the on-sprawling time.

Ah relentless time

that flecks my hair silver
that decks my hours heavy
that encircles my delicate heart.

That weaves,
and weaves,
relentlessly weaves.

Is there still time to wait?
Is there still time to keep silent?
Is there still time to hope?

There’s a hummingbird nestled against your chest,
There’s a nightingale curved against your throat
There’s a sparrow fluttering in your heart

Fragile
Frantic;
Ephemeral?

You know what the bird tweets about,
You know what that flutter spells
You know what that white feather means…

But do you know,

What is in your mind?
What is in your heart?
What is in your soul?

Mutter,
Whisper,
Sigh…

I’ll hear through the distance.

Tell me,
Tell me,
Please tell me….

Or let me be.

For a while, love,
For a while…

As long as you don’t leave.

24/08/20

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment

The wind blows through the trees.
The breeze flows through my hair.
The air travels through our distance.

The mountains are high and mighty.
The mountains are distant and craggy.
The mountains are steep and rugged.

Yet my gaze is forever locked.

The waves are fierce and deep.
The waves are gentle and soft.
The waves are constant and strong.

Yet your gaze is locked.

The horizon is a wavering line

Pink hues
Golden dust
Deep blue.

I cannot see you
Yet i see you.

I cannot touch you
Yet i sense you.

I cannot hold you
Yet I cling to you,

Birds flutter by,
Chirps whistle by,
Feathers drop by.

Like messages
Like mementos
Like whispers.

Are you here?
I am here.

Love is a gentle bruise.
Love is a cold salve.
Love is what cannot be said.

Those who have built for themselves a high tower.
Those who have carved for themselves high windows.
Those who have weaved for themselves high curtains.

The lonely,
The hardy,
The silent,

Those who built a refuge that could withstand high winds…

Have an inner warm glow.
Have a gentle soft heart.
Have delicate dreams.

No winds,
No tempest,
No frost

can make their fortress crumble.

But one word,
But one shoot,
But one sprout,

And the foundation can crack.
And the walls can collapse,
And the door can be unhinged.

One word,
And I am yours.

One word,
And you are mine.

One word,
And you are gone.

Will you return my love?

Ask the ruins,
Ask the waves,
Ask the silence,

Will you return my love?

Alpenglow,
Frosted peaks,
Gentle slopes,

Will you return my love?

16/08/20

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment

How is it that once

You were but a name.
You were but a face.
You were but a greeting

And now

You are the foundation of my day.
You are the shelter in my storms
You are the castle in my ruins.

How can it be

That when you walk away
When you turn away
You glance away

My heart crumbles?

Hot and cold
Cold and hot

Do you know what happens to your beloved mountains

When the weather is

Hot and cold
Cold and hot

The timeless glaciers crumble
Bit by bit
Chunk by chunk.

Changing the landscape forever.

Gorging up the rivers.
Eating up the villages.
Tearing off the trees.

Water,
Snow,
Ice.

And yet,

In water we are reborn.
In water we are cleanse.
In water we are sheltered.

Tears.

I can never say enough.
I always say too much.

Words, words, words,
No touch.

There are three of you :

The one I speak to in the day.
The one I dream of in the night
The one I cling to through the ages

A name,
A hope,
A soul.

I speak to you in english,
I speak to you in french,
I speak to you in an unknowable language.

Be free,
Don’t go.

I admire your wings,
I admire your speed.
I admire your envol,

Yet my heart breaks.

Be free,
Don’t go.

What would I do if,

The glow I bask in,
The beam I cling to,
The flame I flicker to,

Vanishes?

I am trapped,

Like a singing bird in a cage.
Like a fragrant rose in a firm hand,
Like a light drunk moth in a candle blaze.

Love is a madly rushing stream,
Tenderness is a gently cooling breeze,
Softness is a warm and fragrant soil.

A cloak,
A cabin,
A shelter.

Wide open windows,
Wide open doors,
Wide open hands.

To love is to set free.

Be free,
Be you,
Be.

As I quietly pray that

You always remember,
You always pray,
You always return.

03/08/20

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment

Last night,

There’s something I wanted to tell you
There was something I wanted to share with you.
There was something I wanted to greet you with.

But there were miles and miles,
But there were hours and hours,
But there were words and words,

Between us.

Instead I told you

Good morning,
Good night,
May God keep you.

Every syllable
A glimmer.

Every letter
A spark

Every breath
A gem.

So many things I wanted to say
So many things I wanted to give
So many things I wanted to share

So I keep them,

In a nest of twigs
In a chest of iron,
In a treasure box.

Cast into the sea
Cast into the desert
Cast into space.

Never to be found.
Never to be beholden.
Never to be known.

Do you wonder,

Dear heart,
Dear love,
Dear wing,

about the words I never speak?

Do they carry the same weight
Do they carry the same worth
Do they carry the same depth

as those promises you never make?
as those confessions you never share?
as those confidences you never breathe?

Do they?
Do they my dear?

Something beautiful happened to me
Something rare happened to me
Something precious happened to me.

By the door,
By the by,
By the steps,

I found a fledging.

Struggling
Straggling
Stammering,

So sweet,
So soft,
So small.

Vulnerable.

I held it in my hand
I cradled it in my hand
I sheltered it my hand.

What to do?
Where to go?
What to say?

Oh my baby
Oh my hope
Oh my heart

don’t be afraid.

Dear Lord,
Dear Sustainer,
Dear Keeper,

Help me help it.

I made a nest,

Out of straw,
Out of despair,
out of love

Its mother

Flying to and fro
Chirping high and low
Fluttering there and here.

I cannot fly
I cannot reach
I cannot leave

Like they do.

I am but human
I am but a woman.
I am but a girl,

Shivering,
Begging,
Whimpering,

Freedom,
Home,
Freedom.

Quivering with life,
Shivering with thirst,
Palpitating with anticipation.

There was a bird in my hand.

How miraculous
How beautiful
How sad!

The next morning

Took the bird away
Took the fledging away
Took the hope away.

Did it fly?
Did it die?
Did it cry?

The bird has flown.

I am silent.
You are silent.
There’s only silence.

Where to now?

July 2020

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment

There was an earthquake
There was an eruption
There was an upheaval.

Oh no it wasn’t so violent.

More like an enrapture
More like an enchantment
More lire an entrapment

But I cannot breathe.
But I cannot think.
But I cannot write.

Too much,
Too deep,
Too soft,

My heart flutters.

Didn’t I ask for this?
Didn’t I pray for this?
Didn’t I dare for this?

A new spark…

Something so deep,
Something so rich,
Something so precious,

Like a sunbeam,
Like a bedewed rose,
Like a wing.

A wing

that flutters, like my heart.
that travels, like my breath,
that protects, like my prayers.

I can’t escape,
I can’t imagine,
I can’t write,

My tale has become reality.
My reality has become a tale.

Knight and Princess,
King and Queen
The boy and the fairy,

So many stories I

read
dreamt
wrote

about you.

And here you are….

Will you stay?
Will you go?
Will you fly?

Only God knows.

Sleepless nights,
Sleepy afternoon,
Sweet longings.

How can I ever write about you?

My sparrow,
My oak tree,
My whispered fervent prayer…

28/06/20

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment 
My sparrow,
My wing,
My love


You find me hesitant.
You find me shy.
You find me gentle.


But you don’t know about the wind.


It blew through my curtains,
It tore into my ears
It burned my heart.


He’s gone now.


Gone,
Disappeared,
Vanished.  


He didn’t ask
He didn’t want
He didn’t care


But I gave,
And I gave,
And I gave.


He left,
but his memory wouldn’t leave.


He left,
but his words wouldn’t leave.


He left,
but his ghost wouldn’t leave.


Until you came along.


Spring in autumn,
Summer in winter.


Joy in my tears,
Hope in my pleas.


Will you leave too?


Once the roses have crumpled,
Once the birds have flown,
Once the leaves have scattered.


Will you leave too?


I’ve loved before but never like this,


As we laugh, we are both children,
As we cry we are both a wreckage,
As we long we are both free souls. 


Yet,


I am not yours,
You are not mine,
We are neither’s…


Yet.

26/06/20 Morn

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment 
Soft raindrops on the balcony,
A shivering feather on the foliage,
Crimson petals on the tiles,


Is it a gust of wind,
Or is it the breeze?


Is it a wave of cold,
Or is still still summer?


The sparrows are bickering on the bush,
The great tits are wondering on the lilac bough,
The doves are whispering on the cherry tree.


Leaves shivering,
Feathers fluttering,
Petals scattering,


Can I still smell the honeysuckle?
Can I still smell the eucalyptus?
Can I still smell the winter jasmine?


I don’t know.


Lost between imagination and reality
Lost between intuitions and facts,
Lost between the world and the invisible,


I never know.


I just follow the trail.
I just follow the call.
I just follow the breeze.


If I sit really quiet,
Will the sunshine return?


If I stand really still,
Will the birds return?


If I founder really slow,
Will the butterfly return?


Listen my love,


The blackbirds still greets,
The sparrows still chirp,
The swallows still sigh,


Although the sun is veiled.


My gentle wing,


Will you return to my words?
Will you return to my songs?
Will you return to my garden?


This month our table is laden with cherries
Next month our plates will be laden with blackberries
Next season our baskets will be laden with grapes.


The roses are weeping petals,
The hydrangea are promising rosy days.
And the daisies never fade.


But you are quiet,
So quiet.


But you are cautious,
So cautious.


But you are silent,
So silent.


Will you return?

26/06/20

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment 

Summer is


Sinking into my skin
Covering my hair
Swirling in my stomach


Like golden tendrils.
Like crimson bursts
Like velvet silk.


Warm,
Blinding
Soft, so soft…


They warn me…


Storm is brewing.
Clouds are gathering.
Lightning is winding.


The storm will come.


Will my heart break,
Will my soul quiver,
Will my dreams crumble,


Tell me, love, will I die this time?


I do not fear the blinding sparks,
I do not fear the torrential downpour,
I do not fear the heart thumping racket,


I fear silence.
I fear the dawn,
I fear the emptiness.


Summer filled blue haze,
Thunder filled dark foreboding,
Rain sodden wispy hope.


Will you stay?


While the storm rages,
While the windows tremble,
While the doors are slammed,


Will you stay?


Or will you remain


A draft 
A thought
A regret


I cling to when I cannot sleep?


Even in the middle of the night,
It’s palpable


Even in the darkest hours,
It’s glowing.


Even in the coolness of dawn,
It’s burning.


Burning,


My heart
My soul
My mind.


I cannot escape


This glare,
This heat,
This scent,


You’re everywhere
Even when you’re not here.


You’re everything,
Even when you’re not here.


You are every breath,
Even when you’re not here.


Not here,
There.


Not here,
Over tere.


Not here,
Over and over that way.


Far away,
Never here.


But you never leave…


The moon will wane and wax,
The heat will  drop and rise,
The wave will splatter and crest


You will leave and you will return.
You will deny and you will confess.
You will take a step back and a step further.


You will return.


In the balmy evenings of summer
In the deliciously fresh dawn.
In the ever glowing afternoons.


And you will stay…


Will you?

24/06/20

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment 
The air is balmy
The sky is blue
The birds are chirping.


Lost in a thought,
Lost in a dance,
Lost in a feeling,


I watch summer enfold.


Burned down the coffee pot
To cinders.


Boiled the custard 
To a tsunami.


Dropped the vase
To pieces.


Pieces of you,
Pieces of me,
All those tiny pieces.


So fine,
So delicate
So evanescent.


Is it love?
Is it lust?
Is it loneliness?


Tell me love.


Is it the heat?
Is it a fever?
Is it destiny?


Tell me love.


Is it my imagination.
Is it your game.
Is it our delusion?


Tell me love.


But you don’t know,
Do you?


But I don’t know,
I really don’t.


True love is blind,
I’ve never seen you.


True love is klnd
You’re always kind.


True love binds.
We can never part.


You go,
You return.


I go,
I return.


Likes waves,
Like the wind,
Like a whisper.


Never held you.
Never beheld you.
Never heard you.


But you haunt me like a ghost.
But you haunt me like a memory.
But you haunt me like a hymn.


A hymn of something I hope for here and now.
A memory of something happening now.
A ghost of someone who is far away right now.


But grows closer.


Closer,
and closer…


Like the summer heat.
Like the flutter of wings.
Like the dance of the moon.


Closer,
Closer yet.


Your fingertips against mine,
Fluttering, fluttering.


Your gaze meeting mine,
Hovering, hovering.


Your soul tasting mine,
Whispering, whispering.


So far away.
So close.


Closer,
Come closer.


Hush, hush my sweet,
Slow, slow down my bird,
Wait, wait my wing.


The time hasn’t come yet.


For you and me,
To meet.


For me and you,
To promise.


For us,
To embrace.


The air is balmy
The sky is blue
The birds are chirping.


and I am lost,


Lost in hope.
Lost in prayer.
Lost in you.


Only you.