Category: nature

27/10/19

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment 
 No I don’t think about you.
 

 These afternoons feel like summer. 
 These nights feel like winter.
 Scalding yet freezing. 
 

 No I don’t think about you.
 

 I point to no one in particular : the mushrooms and their church hats.
 I point to my own self : the primrose with their may queen dresses.
 Spring in Autumn, Autumn in Spring.
 

 Nothing is black or white.
 Nothing is stone and water.
 Nothing is dry and clear.
 

 Lovers sitting by the road.
 

 A man brushing the tendrils from his darling’s face.
 A young woman brushing her fingers against his arm. 
 

 Lovers sitting side by side. 
 

 No I don’t think about you.
 

 I look at his face and his gaze.
 I look at her face and her smile. 
 I look into myself and wonder…
 

 How does it all work?
 

 How to love?
 How to be loved?
 

 How doest it all work?
 

 I smile at them as I walk by,
 I am not here.
 Only they are here.
 

 The power of love,
 

 How soft!
 How strong!
 How blissful!
 

 No, I don’t think about you.
 

 I leave the lovers behind,
 I leave the leavers behind.
 I leave love behind.
 

 And by the fields, 
 

 He comes straight for me.
 He asks for me pleadingly. 
 He doesn’t let me leave.
 

 Soft,
 Fluffy,
 Wet.
 

 Black and white,
 Tail raised high,
 Face nestled against my boot. 
 

 I melt,
 As he melts.
 

 What is love?
 

 An innocent flutter.
 A gentle breeze.
 And sunshine.
 

 No I don’t think about you.
 

 The cat is left behind.
 The dogs chasing it away. 
 The dog is left behind.
 

 Up ahead,
 Down the street, 
 Far across 
 

 Lives a company of birds.
 

 They know my name,
 They know my step,
 They know about the road I take.
 

 The follow me,
 

 Asking about love.
 Asking about you. 
 Asking about my heart.
 

 Soon they will leave.
 Where to?
 

 Through the desert and the sea.
 Through the mountains and the forest.
 Through the curtain of loss and forgetfulness.
 

 Soon they will leave.
 To find you.
 

 No, I don’t think about you.
 

 The blue blue sky is empty.
 The dark dark earth is upturned.
 The grey grey road is beckoning me.
 

 Go, go on.
 Come, come on.
 Leave, leave on.
 

 Soon I will leave.
 Where to?
 

 Through fields and woods,
 Through valleys and gorges.
 Through hills and dusty cities.
 

 Soon I will leave.
 To find myself.
 

 No, I don’t think about you.
 

 Why would I?
 

 When lovers mock you.
 When cats compete with you.
 When birds can find you.
 

 No, I don’t think about you.
 

 You are in the falling leaves.
 You are in the drooping roses.
 You are in the forgotten moss.
 

 You never leave.
 You never return.
 You never speak.
 

 That man by the curb.
 That face by the door.
 That hand by my own.
 

 No I don’t think about you.
 

 But you keep on drifting back to 
 

 The streets I cross.
 The cafés I haunt.
 The life I never lived.
 

 No I don’t think about you.
 

 Autumn is yours.
 The season of a first glance.
 The season of a last glance. 
 

 But every season has its season.
 

 Come and gone,
 Like a dream.
 

 Come and gone, 
 Like a celebration. 
 

 Come and gone,
 Like a wisp of wind.
 

 No I don’t think about you.

24/10/19

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment 
 The gently swaying foliage,
 The golden and yellowing leaves whispering,
 The great tit and the robin chirping farewell.
 
 How delightful!
 
 My feet grow heavier,
 Roots grow out of my toes,
 Blossom grow in my hair.
 
 A smile,
 A tear,
 And a first step 
 
 Into the next turn
 Into the next path
 Into the next trail.
 
 The road is still long.
 
 I cannot see behind.
 I cannot see forward.
 I can only see here and now.
 
 Your pretty words,
 
 Tangled in soft fluff,
 Laced with earnest sincerity,
 Embroidered on delicate silk,
 
 Your words were hollow.
 
 I knew.
 I waited.
 I knew.
 
 The sun rose and sank behind the hill.
 The moon grew and dwindled above the hill.
 The seasons spread their mantles over the hill.
 
 Afte a last smile,
 
 I walked on.
 I journeyed on.
 I moved on.
 
 Do I hear a flutter in the bough behind me?
 Do I hear a voice calling my name beyond the tree line?
 Do I hear a man wondering why they always leave?
 
 No,
 Just a bluebird
 Just a wisp of wind. 
 Just a last farewell. 
 
 Every clearing bestows a new story.
 Every river bend bestows a new poem.
 Every autumn bestows a new lament.
 
 Oh do not fret,
 
 Sadness makes you grow.
 Melancholy gives you a melody.
 Loss offers you more space.
 
 Thunder,
 Wild showers,
 The made race of the wind…
 
 And the storm is over.
 
 Golden hues,
 Honeyed softness,
 Amber glow.
 
 A last dance. 
 
 The storm is over,
 and I go on.
 
 No shade,
 No rain,
 No dew.
 
 The summer never ends.
 
 The urchin jumps into the sea.
 The mermaid swims deep into the sea. 
 The nymph walked out of the sea.
 
 Autumn will never betray us.
 
 Maybe I was wrong,
 Maybe I was right.
 Maybe I was just scared.
 
 All I know is that
 
 The ground is freezing beneath my boots.
 Garlic cloves are growing beneath the dirt.
 Nights are growing so cold and melodious.
 
 But the great tit and his family have left. 
 But the sparrows are too shy to sing at night.
 But the owls are too far deep in the woods to be heard. 
 
 Who is singing?
 The wind, always the wind.
 
 Who is sighing?
 The wind, always the wind.
 
 Who is regretting?
 The wind, always the wind.
 
 Or is it only me?
 
 I cannot breathe deeply.
 I cannot think deeply.
 I cannot commit deeply.
 
 There’s a restlessness 
 
 Keeping me up at night.
 Waking me up at dawn.
 
 There’s a call…
 
 Beating in my heart,
 Twirling in my veins,
 Lurching in my lungs.
 
 Where to?
 When?
 How?
 
 Why wouldn’t you tell me?
 
 The path is
 
 Whirling,
 Twisting
 Turning
 
 Into a spiderweb.
 Into a fortified city
 Into a spiral galaxy 
 
 No straight path or me.
 No simple story for me.
 No hurdle free answer.
 
 Watch me :
 
 Shrug it off.
 Smile it off.
 Dance it off. 
 
 On and on,
 Run & stumble.
 
 On and on,
 Tired & strong.
 
 On and on,
 Lost & driven.
 
 The road is still long.
 
 I will linger today.
 I will stop today.
 I will take it in today.
 
 Bask in the afternoon glow.
 Float in the divinest scent.
 Sing in the a misty landscape. 
 
 Until it’s time to go.
 On and on.

23/10/19

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment 
 I may turn my head,
 I may linger away,
 I may crumble into dust.
 

 When the sun rises through the curtain of trees,
 When the sun dips behind the golden mountains,
 When the sun glows from my own chest;
 

 Glimmering gold dust caught in a beam,
 

 I can feel You.
 I can hear You.
 I can heed You.
 

 Like a warm embrace,
 Like a soft wave,
 Like an overwhelming elation.
 

 No words can ever paint this.
 No song can ever evoke this.
 No painting can ever write this….
 

 Look into my eyes,
 Look into my words,
 Look into my smile,
 

 Do you see it now?
 

 His Presence.
 His Embrace.
 His Mercy,
 

 Faintly reflected in me.
 

 Aren’t we all a little bit
 

 Opalescent,
 Reverberating,
 Echoing
 

 That primordial Light,
 That primordial Love,
 That primordial Presence,
 

 Our Creator?
 

 I see it in you, dear friend.
 Thank you.
 

 When the illusions melt into the moss.
 When the silence melts into a birdsong.
 When the deception melts into the sunlight.
 

 I can rise again.
 

 And dance,
 Step after step.
 

 And walk,
 Step after step.
 

 And run,
 Step after step.
 

 And long for flight,
 

 Like a bee,
 Like a bird,
 Like a prayer. 
 

 The muddy path cool under my barefoot
 The thorny brambles spiky against my open palms.
 The thick droplets so wet in my tangled hair. 
 

 Trickling,
 Trickling 
 And sticking.
 

 The rain is a blessing, my dear.
 The rain is an offering, my dear.
 The rain is a sign, my dear.
 

 A sign of hope.
 A sign of renewal,
 A sign of rebirth.
 

 Can you feel it?
 

 Convulsing,
 Trembling,
 Quivering.
 

 Oh so fresh and new!
 

 Ideas spurting out like delicate mushrooms.
 Ideas blooming out like fiery chrysanthemum 
 Ideas spreading like golden amber leaves.
 

 You, oh You my Keeper, are whispering in the breeze.
 You, oh You my Home, are sheltering me in the woods.
 You, oh You my Sustainer, are nurturing me with this fire.
 

 With every sputter,
 With every flutter,
 With every flicker,
 

 Warmth spreads to my skin.
 Warmth spreads to my limbs.
 Warmth spreads to my heart.
 

 Scampering away the dark ebbs.
 Chasing away the whirling empty pool.
 Flushing away the ashen specks 
 

 That taints my vision.
 That sinks my spirit.
 That cracks my will. 
 

 Let them roar.
 Let them moan.
 Let them croak. 
 

 My spirit remains untouched.
 

 Safe,
 Warm,
 Encompassed 
 

 in Your Light.
 

 Dear Love,
 I cal them love,
 but You are My One True Love.
 

 My Origin,
 My Home,
 My Destination.
 

 The First,
 The Ever-Present.
 The Last 
 

 I do not wander in vain.
 I do not seek in vain.
 I do not linger in vain.
 

 For my path takes me to,
 

 Depths they cannot imagine,
 Horizons they cannot comprehend,
 Summits they cannot see. 
 

 Where even imagination isn’t enough.
 Where even introspection isn’t enough.
 Where even observation isn’t enough. 
 

 Could I ever tell them about it?
 Or will they also fly away?
 

 Freedom,
 

 They philosophy and lament about it.
 They scatter off clothes and ties for it. 
 They follow every whim and fancy for it.
 

 Freedom?
 I ask.
 Freedom?
 

 Are you truly ready for it?
 

 Mere mortals,
 Mere animals,
 Mere cells,
 

 We are.
 

 And yet,
 And yet…
 

 We stand at the edge
 

 Of the ever expanding and contracting universes.
 Of the ever spreading and shrinking atoms.
 Of the ever departing and returning breath.
 

 Within our selves,
 Within our chest,
 Within our souls. 
 

 Yes, my friend, do close your eyes .
 Yes, my sister, do open your mouth.
 Yes, my son, do listen with your ears.
 

 and find the secrets nestled in your breath.
 and find the gems scattered in your breath.
 and find the peace nurtured in your breath. 
 

 Open your eyes,
 and remember it always.
 

 The secret,
 The key,
 The answer,
 

 That we will never be able to explain. 
 

 No voice,
 No claps,
 No words;
 

 Only the breath. 

21/10/19

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment 
 My heart the betrayer,
 

 How many years wasted 
 How many days that never happened.
 How many nights that froze me to the bones. 
 

 Still clinging to him.
 Still longing for him.
 Still dreaming of him.
 

 Isn’t the world wide enough?
 

 So many different faces 
 So many different stories
 So many different languages
 

 So much that could have happened.
 But it didn’t.
 

 Because all you wanted was his arms.
 Because all you wanted was his hands.
 Because all you wanted was his heart.
 

 But pray tell,
 

 Do you remember his face?
 Do you remember his voice?
 Do you remember his scent?
 

 Could you find him in a sea of people?
 Could you find him in a field of souls?
 Could you find him in the tumult of the end?
 

 Oh listen to my heart,
 Oh listen to my soul,
 Oh listen to my pen,
 

 What sighs full of wonder!
 What dreams full of magic!
 What stories full of insight!
 

 How will I ever be able to reason with them?
 

 Day after day I watch it trickle away.
 Night after night, I beg it to stay.
 Year after year, I feel the dust gathering.
 

 The life I could have had.
 

 Had I not glanced at you.
 Had I not heard your voice.
 Had I not glimpsed an endless wave in your eyes.
 

 It was a breath.
 It was a dream.
 It was a word.
 

 And my world was changed forever.
 

 My heart singing the same song year after year,
 My heart weaving the same fabric year after year.
 My heart rehearsing the same play year after year.  
 

 Without even wearing the right makeup and costume,
 Without even announcing a date for the opening,
 Without any orchestra playing in the gallery.
 

 Just the cadence of my treacherous heart.
 Just the hum of my overflowing heart.
 Just the sigh of my breaking heart. 
 

 So soft, so quiet,
 So gentle, so slow.
 So subtle, so close.
 

 I wish it could be over,
 But it never ends.
 

 How long does it take for cosmic dust to become a new star?
 How long does it take for a supernova to become a pulsar?
 How long does it take for a galaxy to collapse in a black hole?
 

 How long? How long?
 

 For mitosis?
 For replication?
 For the virus to spread?
 

 For the trees to die?
 For the ashes to be crushed?
 For the carbon to solidify?
 

 For earth to drink the river?
 For the heat to steal the droplets?
 For the rain to cry into the river?
 

 How long? How long?
 

 For the never-ending story.
 For the never-ending cycle.
 For the never.ending movement.
 

 On and on.
 

 My dreams and glimpses of you wax,
 My hope are harvested in the moonlight. 
 My wishful thinking wanes into a sickly trickle. 
 

 And yet,
 

 With every pump.
 With every thud.
 With every breath,
 

 My heart could remember you.
 

 Feeble crushable thing.
 Tender delicate muscle.
 Small and moldable tissue. 
 

 Wouldn’t it flatter the feathers on your head?
 Wouldn’t it thicken the mane around your face?
 Wouldn’t it give more color to the foliage in which you hide?
 

 It would be poetical.
 

 If all my thoughts,
 if all my breaths,
 if all my existence
 were for you.
 

 It would have been foolish.
 It would have been patthetic.
 It would have been a real waste.
 

 Look up, dear, look up.
 The infinite display of jewels and gems : forever beyond your reach.
 

 Look down, dear, look down.
 The ever flowing oceans of secrets : forever beyond your reach.
 

 Look in, dear, look in.
 The winding way only a soul can find : forever beyond your reach.
 

 I look up,
 And see the creation of the Loving.
 

 I look down,
 And I see the bestowal of the Everlasting.
 

 I look in,
 And I find my way to the Most High.
 

 And thus,
 

 With every pump,
 With every thud,
 With every breath,
 

 I remember Him.
 

 The One who created me.
 The One who holds me.
 The One to whom I will return.
 

 And I am free…
 

 Of my heart’s frailty.
 Of my heart’s naivety.
 Of my heart’s foolishness.
 

 And I am free.
 

 Of your flicker.
 Of your fright.
 Of your flight. 
 

 And I am free
 

 To love you,
 The fallible man. 
 

 To love myself.
 The imperfect woman. 
 

 To love my Creator,
 The Giver of Life.
 

 Free.
 

 To find compassion for you,
 and for my heart.
 

 To find gentleness for you,
 and for my heart.
 

 To find forgiveness for you,
 and for my heart. 
 

 Forever,
 

 Basking in His Light.
 Melting in His Mercy.
 Loving in His Love. 
 

 No, dear heart, I haven’t wasted anything..
 No dear heart,  I haven’t lost anything. 
 No, dear heart, I haven’t missed anything.
 

 It isn’t over.
 It isn’t too late.
 It isn’t all that there is.
 

 With every pump,
 With every thud,
 With every breath,
 

 Remember.
 Remember Him.
 Remember Him, and remain free.
 

 For that next ridge,
 For that next crest,
 For that next summit. .
 

 And life that keeps on going.
 

 In spite of the heartache that tear you.
 In spite of the ghosts who still linger.
 In spite of the wind which can only blow.
 

 Your heart grows.
 Your heart glows.
 Your heart beats… and beats… and beats.
 

 And remembers.
[Forever,


Basking in His Light.
Melting in His Mercy.
Loving in His Love. ]

17/10/19

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment 
 Come home,
 The birds are holding their last conference.
 Come back.
 

 Come home,
 The leaves are covering the green grass.
 Come back.
 

 Come home,
 The squirrels are dashing to find nuts for the winter.
 Come back.
 

 The sky is growing darker and darker.
 The nights are growing colder and colder.
 The foliage is growing sparser and sparser.
 

 I am gathering woods and dried leaves.
 I am gathering thyme and rosemary 
 I am gathering scattered petals and the last daisies.
 

 The hearth is glowing red and gold.
 The hearth is blazing desperately.
 The hearth is incensing the house.
 

 Myrrhe
 Rosemary
 and Thyme.
 

 Beaconing,
 Beckoning,
 Beguiling,
 

 The wandering healer,
 The crownless knight,
 The forgotten king.
 

 Forgotten by all.
 Derided by all.
 Condemned by all,
 

 But me.
 

 In the raucous clamor,
 In the blinding storm,
 In the tumbling wind,
 

 Can he ever find his way back ?
 

 To walls that can shelter him.
 To a warmth that can revive him.
 To a heart that can nurture him.
 

 The way into the woods is treacherous.
 Treacherous are the illusions drowning us. 
 Drowning, drowning until we rise again.
 

 The forest at the heart of autumn is 
 

 Teaming with life,
 Spurting with mystery,
 Luring with delicate secrets.
 

 The lace of a leaf banqueted by the invisible creatures.
 The discarded feather tethered to the bark and the spiderweb.
 The last bird sharing a farewell tale and a promise to return.
 

 Listen,
 Watch,
 Understand.
 

 But do not lose your way. 
 

 In the winter,
 The woods are full of wolves.
 

 In the winter,
 The river is full of ice.
 

 In the winter,
 The earth is full of thick snow. 
 

 Come home,
 Before it’s too cold.
 

 Come home,
 Before it’s too late. 
 

 Come home,
 Before it’s too far.
 

 But the world keeps on drifting away.
 But the world keeps on fading into the past.
 But the world keep on growing colder.
 

 And it’s too late…
 

 Yet, I will keep on feeding my fire.
 Yet, I will keep on burning my encens.
 Yet, I will keep on singing my prayers.
 

 For your journey,
 For your safekeeping,
 For your return,
 

 Into my welcoming arms.
 Into my welcoming heart.
 Into my welcoming hearth.
 

 My love.
 

 And the healing of all the hurts you carry.

13/10/19

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment 
 Your words are boxes.
 Your questions are bars.
 Your attention is a border.
 

 Enclosing me.
 Entrapping me.
 Chocking me.
 

 In.
 and out.
 In.
 and out…
 

 And I can breathe again.
 

 Did you follow the trail of petals leading into the woods?
 Did you follow the feather as it fell from the branches?
 Did you follow the brook cascading and shimmering away?
 

 Your bare feet against the cold mud.
 Your open palms against the silken foliage.
 Your open lips against the curtain of rain?
 

 Dewdrops gliding through,
 Droplets dripping through,
 Teardrops slipping through,
 

 Your outstretched fingers.
 

 Yours?
 Mine?
 Neither. 
 

 You’re trying too hard.
 You’re not trying hard enough.
 

 You are looking for warm golden marble that melts.
 You are looking for a thick but easily opened door.
 You are looking for something that only exists in your mind.
 

 I see you walk past me.
 

 You never noticed the softly whispering aspen tree.
 You never noticed the fluttering and chirping robin.
 You never noticed the sunbeam piercing into your eyes.
 

 You never noticed me seeking something in you.
 

 That wasn’t in you.
 That wasn’t for you.
 That was already in me.
 

 Did you decipher the footsteps in the mud?
 Did you translate the birdsong in the morn?
 Did you notice the pattern of the stars?
 

 You didn’t.
 

 Thus the lush isle remain forever out of reach in the mists.
 Thus the cabin with the glowing hearth remains deep in the woods. 
 Thus the enticing kisses remain forever beyond your reach in the clouds.
 

 Huffing 
 Humming
 Puffing;
 

 If only.
 

 Didn’t you read the legends about the never ending quest?
 Didn’t you read the poems about the wandering knights?
 Didn’t you hear the songs about the crownless kings?
 

 They are but stories to you.
 

 They are my bones.
 My gums and jaws.
 And all that blood.
 

 You mutter.
 You sputter.
 You stutter. 
 

 What a waste.
 

 I spread my wings,
 I turn my face to the moon,
 and I lung forward.
 

 Never looking back.
 

 I need peace,
 this world is to loud.
 

 Your boots crunch the leaves into dust.
 Your harsh sighs scare the sparrows away.
 Your reverberating platitude make the stars fade.
 

 Tiptoes, 
 Whispers,
 Truth.
 

 This is what I seek.
 

 How can I ever be yours?
 

 When I belong to myself.
 When I belong to God.
 When I still belong to the wind….
 

 That blows,
 Carries me
 Throws me away.
 

 Like a discarded page.
 Like a decaying leaf.
 Like a soft feather.
 

 Forever untamable. 
 Forever unavailable. 
 Forever unreachable.
 

 Eternally alone.

11/10/19

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment 
I was born in the woods,
 

 Berry stained lips,
 Twigs adorned hair,
 Rain bedewed cheeks.
 

 I took my first step in the mountains,
 

 Rock bruised knees.
 Pine fragrant skin.
 Torrent frozen feet.
 

 And down the valley,
 Into the city.
 To reality,
 

 I lost my way.
 
 Trying to hear the birdsong.
 Trying to understand the story of the moon.
 Trying to find my way back to the wild.
 

 And then, the wind blew hard…
 

 I lost my footing.
 I lost my direction.
 I lost my name.
 

 I was his.
 But he was never mine.
 

 Under the full moon,
 In the clearing of a forest,
 By a roaring campfire,
 

 I found a sisterhood of women
 I found a sisterhood of the untamed
 I found a sisterhood of wolves. 
 

 Their words were like balms.
 Their heart songs were like a spark.
 Their wisdom was like a revelation.
 

 A reminder.
 A recalling.
 A return….
 

 To my own wild self.
 

 I cried and dried their tears.
 I laughed and heard them laugh. 
 I roared and they roared with me.
 

 The moon waxed and waned.
 The leaves grew and fell.
 The great tit sang and left.
 

 It was time to leave.
 

 I kept on walking until their voices were like whispers.
 I kept on walking until their faces were like dreams.
 I kept on walking until their words were branded in my soul.
 

 In the silence,
 I could hear myself again.
 

 In the darkness,
 I could see myself again.
 

 In the stillness,
 I could move myself again.
 

 Dance
 Walk 
 And swim. 
 

 I found the ocean. 
 

 The waves beckoning me.
 The blue color soothing me.
 The sand pulling me in. 
 

 And I swam. 
 

 My hair like the nets of a mermaid.
 My skin finally cleared of all those wounds. 
 My limbs stretching and growing.
 

 When I came out of the water,
 

 Dark long tangled hair like seaweed,
 Covered in blue from ankles to wrist, 
 Pushed forward by the waves,
 

 I was reborn.
 

 Short golden halo,
 Red lips,
 Sparkly finger.
 

 I went on.
 

 Aimlessly.
 Hopelessly,
 Tiredelessly. 
   
 A bird dropped a feather in my hair,
 A constellation drew a figure in the sky.
 A message in a bottle told me a story,
 

 Oh what a wonderful story. 
 

 A tale that could feed many lonely nights.
 A tale that could delight a tired heart.
 A tale that could show a new path.
 

 Full of dreams,
 Full of birds,
 and full of hopes,
 

 I found her again….
 

 That girl you never knew.
 That girl I never forgot.
 That girl I always longed for.
 

 Rosy cheeked,
 Mud splattered feet,
 Sparkly deep eyes.
 

 Oh she is back!
 

 Look at how she dances.
 Look at how she sings.
 Look at what she writes.
 

 You may never return.
 There may never be another.
 But I have her, but I have me.
 

 And so many songs in he death of night.
 And so many stories at every turning.
 And so many dreams in every sunset.
 

 Did you think you were the only dream I had?
 

 Oh you didn’t,
 You never thought about me… Did you?
 

 But I believed…
 

 You were the path I had to thread.
 You were a dream come true. 
 You were a story beyond stories.
 

 And now I just shrug.
 And now I just look up.
 And now I just spin.
 

 Around and around.
 

 There’s hope in my step.
 There are sparks in my thoughts.
 There are stories in my fingertips.
 

 I write and write.
 

 From the woods,
 To the mountains,
 To the sea….
 

 — and back to the woods. 
 

 Like the dance of the moon,
 Like the refrain of the seasons,
 Like the story of a drop of water. 
 

 Around and around.
 

 Like a dancer,
 Like a planet,
 Like a galaxy.
 

 All for a feather on my path.

10/10/19

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment 
I dreamt of the ocean again.
 

 The waves were soft and docile,
 The water was warm and inviting,
 The wind was dewy and gentle. 
 

 I was a girl once more.
 

 Dancing on the sand,
 With my cousins.
 

 Jumping in the water,
With my clothes on.
 

 Swimming in the ocean,
 With the frothy waves 
 

 How free I was.
 How easily I forgot.
 

 How they crash,
 Hush, hush.
 

 How I remain,
 How you left.
 

 The ocean is so far away now.
 

 But I can stil hear the waves rolling and crashing.
 But I can still feel the ocean breeze on my hair and face. 
 But I can still taste the tears on my lips of that never-ending dance.
 

 Perhaps,
 It’s just the wind.
 

 Perhaps,
 It’s just a memory.
 

 Perhaps,
 It’s just a dream.
 

 Hush,
 Watch….
 

 How they come,
 And how they leave.
 

 How they kiss,
And how they embrace.
 

 How they run to you,
 And run from you.
 

 Close your eyes
 And listen.
 

 Here now,
 Gone now.
 

 The seagull,
 The albatross,
 And the heron.
 

 Open your eyes.
 And it’s too late.
 

 I already left.
 I already melted
 I already lost my way. 
 

 And the waves, 
 The waves…
 

 Like echoes of a forgotten song.
 Like pebbles of a forgotten trip.
 Like hopes of a forgotten dream.
 

 Waves upon waves,
 Billow upon billow,
 Tsunami upon tsunami.
 

 Never wondering,
 About the aftermath,
 About the consequences. 
 

 And the destruction. 
 

 Ever coming,
 And leaving,
 And returning.
 

 Echoing,
 Forever,
 Echoing….
 

 That dream. 

23/09/19

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment

One droplet,
Two droplets
And here comes the rain.

Can you smell it?

The earth is singing.
The soil is humming.
The ground is crooning.

Oh so soft
so gentle.
so fierce.

and I raise my arms to the sky
and I swirl like a celestial body
and I feel my feet leaving the earth.

and I sing too

At the top of my lungs.
From the depth of my soul.
To the pain in my heart.

If only I were a bird.

Like the wise and brave hoopoe
Like the terrified but brave goldfinch
Like the disillusioned but brave owl .

I would fly without flailing  like they did…

Until I found you.
But will I ever find you?

Perhaps you were only the path.
Perhaps you were only the question.
Perhaps you were only the awakener.

To a higher path.
To a nobler oath.
To a brighter thirst.

To the One I belong to.

And yet you linger.
Like a feather in my lashes.

And yet you whisper.
Like a scent against my lips.

And yet, you always return,
Like autumns breezing against my back.

But I turn around,
You are gone.

What should I do, dear?

When they come to me,
with their hearts in their hands.

When they come to me,
with their confessions on their lips.

When they come to me,
with their sincerity on their cheeks…

I run.
I run away.

I run into the hazy woods.
I run to the crumbling summit.
I run to the ever tumbling sea.

But I never find you.
You are gone.

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And I remain alone.

Dancing without music,
Waiting without hoping,
Hoping without thinking.

Never think, dear, never think.
Lest you wake up your own destruction.

Rationality.
Lucidity.
Reason.

I swing them away.
I minstrel them away.
I dream them away.

Until I find my never-never land again.
Until I find your silhouette in the glimmer.
Until I find peace in this tale I spin.

21/09/19 15:00

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment 
 The hearth is glowing
 The water is boiling
 The cat is purring.
 

 Are you ready to come back home?
 

 Some said the war is over.
 Others wrote the war is just starting.
 All sighed and trembled.
 

 Where are you now dear?
 

 I can’t touch you.
 I cant reach you.
 I can’t breathe you.
 

 I ask for a dream so that I can 
 

 Embrace you.
 Hold you.
 Keep you safe. 
 

 But no dreams come anymore.
 

 You are truly lost in the mist.
 You are truly engulfed in the sea.
 You are truly burred within yourself.
 

 You pulled up your boots.
 You pulled down your shirt.
 And you closed the door.
 

 Where, where are you?
 How, how are you?
 When, when will you return?
 

 The wind follows your gait.
 The tempest covers your footsteps.
 The rain puddle up your path.
 

 You cannot be found.
 You will not be found.
 

 As I close the door,
 Pour the tea,
 and stoke up the fire,
 

 I remind myself :
 

 You’re the one who left.
 You’re the one who choose to leave.
 You’re the one who chose to never speak of it.
 

 I’m the one who chose 
 

 To keep the light on.
 To keep the songs up.
 To keep the fire…
 

 Until you return.
 

 No promises,
 You always keep your promises.
 

 No letter,
 You never write back.
 

 No sign of life,
 You never come back.
 

 And yet,
 
 The breeze in the golden foliage,
 The yellow tit on the branch,
 The squirrel by the pond,
 
 told me you will.
 

 And I believe,
 I must believe.
 Shouldn’t I… believe?
 

 Tell me.
 

 This is a true dream, 
 This is a true promise,
 This is a true hope,
 

 Isn’t it true?