18/10/20

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment

When I drift into your realm,

I am greeted by a growling dark sky
I am greeted by golden falling leaves
I am greeted by a marching army.

But as I walk in,

No harm
No danger
No spears

are aimed at me.

There’s a sadness lingering in the air
There a bitterness lingering in the river
There’s a gentleness lingering in the birdsongs.

Legends whisper
Echoes wander.
Words fester.

There once used to be a queen in this land.
There once used to be a king on the throne.
So long ago….

The queen is gone.
The king is lost.
So long ago.

No queen,
No crown,
Nothing but bitter defeats.

The king is lost…

Whisper the willow
Repeat the pine
Harp the heather.

I hear
I listen
I ponder

… But I keep on going.

The priestess is here.
The princess is here.
The healer is here.

Unafraid.
Untainted
Untameable

The path opens up under my feet.
The path winds beyond my reach.
The path fades into marshes in front of me.

I wait by a well.

I sing
I weave
I pray

And sure enough,

The embers of dawn
The jewels of dawn
The hope of dawn

You always come.

The wandering king
The wounded knight
The wayfaring man.

Your hands tremble
Your voice whispers
Your eyes water

Like mine,
Like mine…
My love.

All those songs,
are sung by you.

All those poems,
are written by you.

All those dreams,
are shaped by you.

As the rain falls outside,
Inside we hold each other’s heart.

As the night falls on the world,
Under here we hold each other’s hands.

As the chaos settles on our civilization,
Hidden, we hold on to each other’s soul.

Four seasons for this world,
So many others for us.

Twelve months for this world,
So many others for us.

One year for this world,
So many others for us.

There is time between each second.
There is space between each breath.
There is hope between each word.

I believe it.
Do you?
Do you believe it?

Autumn has come back.

Leaves under our boots.
Warm cups between our hands.
Cold wind through our hair,

Autumn has come back.

Our favourite season.
Our favourite spring.
Our favourite time.

Autumn has come back.

Time is what I cannot hold.
Time is what you need.
Time is what I can give.

Silver tendrils of time,
Carved paths of time,
Rusted gates of time.

Fleeting,
Flying,
Freeing.

When will the past stop
weighing your wings?

When will the past allow
the fluttering of your wings?

When will the past feed
the vigour of your wings?

My wingless sparrow…

When?

I never ask.
I never wonder.
I never add to lead on your wings.

Instead,

I sing another song.
I weave another poem.
I whisper another prayer.

My fingers reaching for yours.
My heart turning to yours.
My dreams looking for yours.

This realm of yours is enchanted.

I cannot move further.
I cannot move back.

Cannot say goodbye.

Thus,

The kingdom remains quiet.
The knight remains there.
The maiden remains here.

Maybe tomorrow the sun will rise high,
Maybe tomorrow the robins will sing high.
Maybe tomorrow your spirit will soar high.

And you will believe in love again.

16/10/20

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment

To understand the meaning of a trail of feathers
To glimpse the knowledge of the falling leaves
To read the temperament of a cloudy sky

In the secret of a brave kernel.
In the litany of a lost owl
In the cracked tree trunk

There is an undecipherable knowledge.

A knowledge heavier than these books
A knowledge more precious than a diploma
A knowledge older than your crumbling walls.

I thread gently

Through the wind beaten forest
Through the time carven valley
Through the water thirsty river bed.

Wordless stories
Numberless ages
Outlawed paths.

They try, oh they do try,
Don’t they?

To write theories
To memorize forrmulas.
To define laws.

Fragile hands,
Tired minds
Failing eyes,

Tarnishing plastic
Blurring fumes
Cypher tumors.

What do they truly know?

Of depthless abysses?
Of timeless galaxies?
Of endless species?

Cross out that word
Rewrite that paragraph
Reframe this theory.

Words,
Numbers,
Pixels.

Dust in the wind,
Tinsels in the wind
Radiation in the wind.

Drink deep that knowledge,

Until you canot breathe.
Until you cannot see.
Until you cannot think.

What of the feather at your feet?
What of the scent on your lips?
But what of the judd in your fingernail?

Did you listen?
Can you still hear?

The warning…

In bacteria who survived in the melting ice.
In the water who remembers those interglacial heights.
In the dried out bark that faces bravely the bitter winds.

Every night,
The owls wonders why.

Every morn,
The pink dawn wonders how.

Every eventide,
The vine wonders when.

It will come,
it must.

Come and go.
Leave and return.
End and start.

The turn of the tide.
The end of an age.
The beginning of the cycle.

On and on

The swirling orbs

Small and immense
Slow and fast,
Cold and hot;

Tell us of the never-ending dance.

The spiraling destinies,
The encircling doom.
The rotating pathways.

Up and up,
Down and down –

Yet,

you remain enamored of your plastic dreams.
you remain enclasped in your toxic adventures
you remain enclosed in your poisoned walls.

Never knowing
Never caring
Never living.

Dead before the end of the stories.
Dead before the beginning of the chapter.
Dead before the climax of this tale.

Come,
Take my hand.

Come,
Hear our song,

Come,
Feel your earth.

Earth,

Where all stories begin
Where all songs end,
Where all destinies remember.

Earth,

Plant your feet deeply,
Anchor your fingers deeply,
Breathe deeply.

And remember,
And awaken,
And be free…

Like the chittering sparrows
Like the twirling leaves
Like the twinkling daisies.

Frail
Ephemeral,
And forever free…

15/10/20

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment

The tree is long gone

But the seedling remains
But the flames remain
But the ashes remain

Burning,
Glowing,
Warming.

It’s the campfire,
The lone candle,
That first spark

Like a kiss never tasted
Like a word never spoken
Like an embrace never felt.

Here,
yet never here.

Ghosts,
Hopes,
And dreams

Are all the same.

They exist in the roaring wind
They exist in the gushing rain
They exist in the snapping banches –

And the wind,

Blows,
Blows
And blows.

So many voices in each gust
So many hopes in the cascading leaves
So many thoughts in the wavering branches.

Some bend,
Some waver,
Others break.

Which one am I?
Which one are you?
Which ones is our love?

Or is it still an acorn?
Or is it already digested?
Or were we too green when we fell?

There’s a knight that wanders
There’s a traveler that lingers
There’s a lost boy that wonders

He dreams of a fairy maiden…
He dreams of a homely wife…
He dreams of a loving lover…

He dreams
as strongly as the wind blows.

He dreams
as gently as the leaves scatter.

He dreams
as deeply as these roots seek.

Until she turned to him, and told him,

You are in my dreams,
You are in my prayers,
You are in my heart.

The branch falls in the mud
The twigs slapped the trunk.
The acorns spattered on the asphalt.

So much for the dream….

Reality stands tall
Reality reaches high
Reality draws deep.

An oak tree.

Reality….

There are no knights nor fairies,
There are no traveller and nor wife
There are no young and fresh lovers.

There is you
There is me.
Here we are…

Every line,
Every feather,
Every crack…

As imperfect as reality.
As real as true beauty.
As imperfect as true beauty

An acorn,
A seedling,
A shell,

… Hope.

14/10/20

~ Layla ~ 4 Comments

Let me embroider flowers where they have torn your soul.
Let me plant flowers where they have bruised your heart.
Let me spread good prayers where they have carved your mind

Let me,
Will you let me?

Or will you push me away

You hear me when I am silent.
You hear me when you are away.
You hear me when we are drifting.

And your words startle me,
And your word awaken me,
And your words make me hope again.

Just like the wind,
Just like a dream,
Just like a feather,

You’re gone again.

I remain to myself.
I return to myself.
I collapse into myself-

Silence
Silence
and hush.

Hush,
my little bird,
he will return.

Hush,
my little dream,
he must return.

Hush,
my little heart,
he will return.

For the love of a butterfly wing
I’ve learned to keep quiet.

For the love of a fading dawn
I’ve learned to keep it low.

For the love of an unsung song
I’ve learned to keep it private.

How would I like to be a bird

Singing of hope and love
Seeding hope and love
Winging to hope and love.

Without any fear of

the oncoming storm
the ongoing war.
the on-sprawling time.

Ah relentless time

that flecks my hair silver
that decks my hours heavy
that encircles my delicate heart.

That weaves,
and weaves,
relentlessly weaves.

Is there still time to wait?
Is there still time to keep silent?
Is there still time to hope?

There’s a hummingbird nestled against your chest,
There’s a nightingale curved against your throat
There’s a sparrow fluttering in your heart

Fragile
Frantic;
Ephemeral?

You know what the bird tweets about,
You know what that flutter spells
You know what that white feather means…

But do you know,

What is in your mind?
What is in your heart?
What is in your soul?

Mutter,
Whisper,
Sigh…

I’ll hear through the distance.

Tell me,
Tell me,
Please tell me….

Or let me be.

For a while, love,
For a while…

As long as you don’t leave.

24/08/20

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment

The wind blows through the trees.
The breeze flows through my hair.
The air travels through our distance.

The mountains are high and mighty.
The mountains are distant and craggy.
The mountains are steep and rugged.

Yet my gaze is forever locked.

The waves are fierce and deep.
The waves are gentle and soft.
The waves are constant and strong.

Yet your gaze is locked.

The horizon is a wavering line

Pink hues
Golden dust
Deep blue.

I cannot see you
Yet i see you.

I cannot touch you
Yet i sense you.

I cannot hold you
Yet I cling to you,

Birds flutter by,
Chirps whistle by,
Feathers drop by.

Like messages
Like mementos
Like whispers.

Are you here?
I am here.

Love is a gentle bruise.
Love is a cold salve.
Love is what cannot be said.

Those who have built for themselves a high tower.
Those who have carved for themselves high windows.
Those who have weaved for themselves high curtains.

The lonely,
The hardy,
The silent,

Those who built a refuge that could withstand high winds…

Have an inner warm glow.
Have a gentle soft heart.
Have delicate dreams.

No winds,
No tempest,
No frost

can make their fortress crumble.

But one word,
But one shoot,
But one sprout,

And the foundation can crack.
And the walls can collapse,
And the door can be unhinged.

One word,
And I am yours.

One word,
And you are mine.

One word,
And you are gone.

Will you return my love?

Ask the ruins,
Ask the waves,
Ask the silence,

Will you return my love?

Alpenglow,
Frosted peaks,
Gentle slopes,

Will you return my love?

16/08/20 – timeless

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment

When waves of human love confuse me
When winds of human rage ensnare me
When fumes of human desire bewitch me

I can no longer breathe deeply.
I can no longer hear deeply.
I can no longer love deeply.

And I wonder,
And I wander,
And I wound her.

The soul within me,
The heart within me,
The light within me

Are wounded
Are dulled
Are rusted.

Wounded.
Blinded.
Confused.

There’s a stir within me
There’s a spark within me
There’s a call within me.

That can never be lost.

As I feel the warm ground beneath my feet.
As I hear the gentle chirp of the sparrows above my head.
As I smell the teardrop in the air around my body.

I find that pathway….

Through the woods,
Through the clearing,
To the cabin

Where the fire never dies.

Yesterday I shivered.
Yesterday I heaved.
Yesterday I whispered.

What will happen to me

Once, this gentle love is soothed.
Once this gentle touch has vanished.
Once this gentle grasp has faded.

Will I return to myself?
Will I return home?
Will I return to You?

For returning I must…

I cannot sense You.
I cannot hear You.
I cannot hold You,

I cannot be regenerated by Your Light.

How afraid I was yesterday…

Yet today,

The waves,
The winds,
The fumes

all faded.

The sparrows are pecking.
The doves are cooing,
The woodpeckers are seeking.

What I already have.
What I never lost.
What I always keep…

Your Presence.

It was only my heart that was too loud.
It was only my mind that was too loud.
It was only the world that was too loud.

It all recedes

When I seek for you.
When I call for you.
When I reach for you.

From all my being.

Body
Heart
Soul.

All for my all.
My all for All.
All.

You are The Source of all Love.
You are The Source of all Light.
You are the Source of all Life.

They may come,
They may leave.

They may love,
They may hate.

They may try,
They may give up.

But you were the First.a
But you are the Constant.
But you will be the Last.

Destination,
Refuge,
Home.

The sparrows,
The raindrops
And even the airplane

Sing your praise.

The tired soil
The weakened trees
The faltering roses

All long for Your Mercy.

That You pour on us,

Drop after drop,
Wave after wave,
Cloud after cloud.

16/08/20

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment

How is it that once

You were but a name.
You were but a face.
You were but a greeting

And now

You are the foundation of my day.
You are the shelter in my storms
You are the castle in my ruins.

How can it be

That when you walk away
When you turn away
You glance away

My heart crumbles?

Hot and cold
Cold and hot

Do you know what happens to your beloved mountains

When the weather is

Hot and cold
Cold and hot

The timeless glaciers crumble
Bit by bit
Chunk by chunk.

Changing the landscape forever.

Gorging up the rivers.
Eating up the villages.
Tearing off the trees.

Water,
Snow,
Ice.

And yet,

In water we are reborn.
In water we are cleanse.
In water we are sheltered.

Tears.

I can never say enough.
I always say too much.

Words, words, words,
No touch.

There are three of you :

The one I speak to in the day.
The one I dream of in the night
The one I cling to through the ages

A name,
A hope,
A soul.

I speak to you in english,
I speak to you in french,
I speak to you in an unknowable language.

Be free,
Don’t go.

I admire your wings,
I admire your speed.
I admire your envol,

Yet my heart breaks.

Be free,
Don’t go.

What would I do if,

The glow I bask in,
The beam I cling to,
The flame I flicker to,

Vanishes?

I am trapped,

Like a singing bird in a cage.
Like a fragrant rose in a firm hand,
Like a light drunk moth in a candle blaze.

Love is a madly rushing stream,
Tenderness is a gently cooling breeze,
Softness is a warm and fragrant soil.

A cloak,
A cabin,
A shelter.

Wide open windows,
Wide open doors,
Wide open hands.

To love is to set free.

Be free,
Be you,
Be.

As I quietly pray that

You always remember,
You always pray,
You always return.

03/08/20

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment

Last night,

There’s something I wanted to tell you
There was something I wanted to share with you.
There was something I wanted to greet you with.

But there were miles and miles,
But there were hours and hours,
But there were words and words,

Between us.

Instead I told you

Good morning,
Good night,
May God keep you.

Every syllable
A glimmer.

Every letter
A spark

Every breath
A gem.

So many things I wanted to say
So many things I wanted to give
So many things I wanted to share

So I keep them,

In a nest of twigs
In a chest of iron,
In a treasure box.

Cast into the sea
Cast into the desert
Cast into space.

Never to be found.
Never to be beholden.
Never to be known.

Do you wonder,

Dear heart,
Dear love,
Dear wing,

about the words I never speak?

Do they carry the same weight
Do they carry the same worth
Do they carry the same depth

as those promises you never make?
as those confessions you never share?
as those confidences you never breathe?

Do they?
Do they my dear?

Something beautiful happened to me
Something rare happened to me
Something precious happened to me.

By the door,
By the by,
By the steps,

I found a fledging.

Struggling
Straggling
Stammering,

So sweet,
So soft,
So small.

Vulnerable.

I held it in my hand
I cradled it in my hand
I sheltered it my hand.

What to do?
Where to go?
What to say?

Oh my baby
Oh my hope
Oh my heart

don’t be afraid.

Dear Lord,
Dear Sustainer,
Dear Keeper,

Help me help it.

I made a nest,

Out of straw,
Out of despair,
out of love

Its mother

Flying to and fro
Chirping high and low
Fluttering there and here.

I cannot fly
I cannot reach
I cannot leave

Like they do.

I am but human
I am but a woman.
I am but a girl,

Shivering,
Begging,
Whimpering,

Freedom,
Home,
Freedom.

Quivering with life,
Shivering with thirst,
Palpitating with anticipation.

There was a bird in my hand.

How miraculous
How beautiful
How sad!

The next morning

Took the bird away
Took the fledging away
Took the hope away.

Did it fly?
Did it die?
Did it cry?

The bird has flown.

I am silent.
You are silent.
There’s only silence.

Where to now?

July 2020

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment

There was an earthquake
There was an eruption
There was an upheaval.

Oh no it wasn’t so violent.

More like an enrapture
More like an enchantment
More lire an entrapment

But I cannot breathe.
But I cannot think.
But I cannot write.

Too much,
Too deep,
Too soft,

My heart flutters.

Didn’t I ask for this?
Didn’t I pray for this?
Didn’t I dare for this?

A new spark…

Something so deep,
Something so rich,
Something so precious,

Like a sunbeam,
Like a bedewed rose,
Like a wing.

A wing

that flutters, like my heart.
that travels, like my breath,
that protects, like my prayers.

I can’t escape,
I can’t imagine,
I can’t write,

My tale has become reality.
My reality has become a tale.

Knight and Princess,
King and Queen
The boy and the fairy,

So many stories I

read
dreamt
wrote

about you.

And here you are….

Will you stay?
Will you go?
Will you fly?

Only God knows.

Sleepless nights,
Sleepy afternoon,
Sweet longings.

How can I ever write about you?

My sparrow,
My oak tree,
My whispered fervent prayer…

28/06/20

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment 
My sparrow,
My wing,
My love


You find me hesitant.
You find me shy.
You find me gentle.


But you don’t know about the wind.


It blew through my curtains,
It tore into my ears
It burned my heart.


He’s gone now.


Gone,
Disappeared,
Vanished.  


He didn’t ask
He didn’t want
He didn’t care


But I gave,
And I gave,
And I gave.


He left,
but his memory wouldn’t leave.


He left,
but his words wouldn’t leave.


He left,
but his ghost wouldn’t leave.


Until you came along.


Spring in autumn,
Summer in winter.


Joy in my tears,
Hope in my pleas.


Will you leave too?


Once the roses have crumpled,
Once the birds have flown,
Once the leaves have scattered.


Will you leave too?


I’ve loved before but never like this,


As we laugh, we are both children,
As we cry we are both a wreckage,
As we long we are both free souls. 


Yet,


I am not yours,
You are not mine,
We are neither’s…


Yet.