30/10/19

 Today I cast a bottle in the sea.
 Today I sent a pigeon into the winds.
 Today, I dropped a coin in the well. 

 I didn’t tell anyone,
 
 But the sparrows bracing for winter,
 But the squirrels packing for winter,
 But the trees baring for the winter.
 
 They didn’t see the sunset on my cheeks,
 They didn’t see the rain in my eyes
 They didn’t see the spring on my lips.
 
 It’s like singing a lullaby
 
 Against the wind,
 Against the world
 Against the web.
 
 Like a revolution.
 Like a declamation.
 Like a declaration.
 
 That nobody will hear.
 
 They all died on the battlefield.
 They all deserted years ago.
 They all ran like traitors.
 
 The war is over.
 
 Only the wind rumbles.
 Only the bees bumble.
 Only the lost stumble.
 
 Who are the lost ones?
 
 The lovelorn,
 The loverless,
 The lovers…
 
 It’s a madness, isn’t it?
 
 But you never notice it when you are 
 
 Hand in hand,
 Lips to lips,
 Heart to heart.
 
 You only open your eyes 
 
 When the night is utterly still.
 When the morning is utterly bright.
 When the end is utterly near.
 
 Or when you shiver alone at a bus stop.
 Or when you wander alone at the death of night.
 Or when you wake up alone after a realistic dream. 
 
 Pure madness.
 
 Quick,
 
 Breath in in the autumn mulch 
 Breath out the busy city.
 Breath in last year’s roses.

 Can you make sense of it?
 
 From evening mist to morning dew.
 From the warm afternoon to the freezing night.
 From the hopeful greeting to the mournful parting;
 
 I wait.

 Nothing but

 The ripples of the water,
 The whispers of the wind,
 The echoes of a clinking.
 
 In the distance,
 Far off.
 So far,
 
 A fading echolalia…

 It’s not you,
 It’s not real,
 It’s just my mind…
 
 So deeply anchored;
 So deeply entrapped;
 So deeply enchanted:

 That no one can distract. 
 
 Except songs,
 Except stories,
 Except stanzas 
 
 Of something that doesn’t dare exist.  

12/09/19

I’m tired of talking,
I’m tired of writing,
I’m tired of the distance….

The distance between us.
The waves  between us.
The screens between us.

I am tossed to and fro by

The restless combers.
The deep tremors.
The raging gusts.

Do you think the storm is roaring outside too?

Inside,
It ripes your pictures in shreds.
It throws your words around like dust.
It batters m heart into pulp.

I don’t want empty promises.
I don’t want hollow poetry.
I want to be held.

Your arms,
His arms,
are better than words.

But you’re not here.
He’s not here either.
Only the freezing gale.

Thus,

I am left with words.
I am left with poetry.
I am left with songs.

If I sing loud enough,
Will you hear me?

If I sing softly enough,
Will your heart hear me?

If I sing deeply enough,
Will your soul hear me?

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

… And recognize that primordial tune?

08/09/19 15:00

Romeo and Juliet is a tale full of violence,
and death.
Not love.

Titanic is a tale full of madness,
and death.
Not love.

Twilight is a tale full of mental affliction,
and death,
Not love.

Never love.

But what of Elizabeth Bennett and Mr Darcy?
But what of John Thornton and Margaret Hale?
But what of Angélique and Joffrey?

This is love,
true love.
Isn’t it?

But what of you and me?

The mad rambling of a lonely creature.
The wild feelings of a sensitive woman.
The gentle pebbles of a dreamer sparrow.

Wool gathering,
Castle building,
Raindrops collecting.

Sand slipping through my fingers.
Ashes slipping through my fingers.
Seawater slipping through my fingers.

The wind,
The ever evasive wind.
Constantly

Never to be predicted,
Never to be perceived,
Never to be remembered,

by others.

Yet, always,

Waking me up at the death of night.
Drifting into my deepest sleep.
Floating over my ardent sunshine.

The wind;

Not a love story,
Not a love song,
Not a love poem;

A tale of madness,
A tale of sickness,
A tale of emptiness.

Loving without touching.
Loving without seeing.
Loving without speaking.

Only living in memories.
Only living in dreams.
Only living in words.

Only.

This isn’t love.
This isn’t life.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

It’s you and me.

04/09/19 12:33

I know you don’t care,
I know you don’t even know me.

But I have to tell you,

my love,
my life,
my hope;

that if I leave too,
I will never return.

Will you ever find that castle by the sea?
Will you ever find that hut in the woods?
Will ever find that cabin in the valley?

Will you even want to find it?

Behind the crest,
Under the oak and the aspen.
Far beyond the tree line, and beneath the everlasting ice.

But I will not be waiting.
But I will not be pinning.
But I will not be praying….

for you.

I will be living for me.

Filling my life with songs and stories.
Filling my silence with birds and cats.
Filling my heart with wonder and God.

Too far from the world of men.
Too far from the world of greed.
Too far from the world of decay.

To be tainted.
To be hurt.
To be held.

away, away,
my love.

I know you won’t wonder.
I know you don’t even wonder about me anymore. 

I know, I know,
Do I?

Don’t ask my laments.
Don’t ask my stories.
Don’t ask my soul….

Because you cannot handle my truth.
Because you cannot handle my love.
Because you canot handle me.

Just run,
run.
my love.

I am gone too, this time.
I am lost too, this time.
I am out of reach too, this time.

Never to return.

05/08/19

 I close my eyes
breathe in
Breathe out.


I can feel your pain.
I can feel your struggle.
I can feel your hopelessness.


I open my eyes
Look around
Look about.


You are not here.
But I am here.


With a soft voice
I sing for you.


With a strong voice
I pray for you.


With a voiceless voice
I hold you.


As I lay down to sleep
I try to remember your face.


As i settled down to sleep,
I try to reach you.


As fall down in sleep,
I try to write to you.


In my dreams,
I write and I write.


In my dreams
I share and I share.


In my dreams,
I dare and I dare.


And then I wake up,
And I remember.


And then I remember,
how you you left.


And you left,
never to return.