Tag: poetry

Utter desolation

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment

16/05/25

How the wind blows!
How the heat grows!
How evil festers!

Every delightful dish
Every mouthwatering speciality
Every tasty treat

Available from your fingertips…

And yet,

Not enough to feed
Not enough to quench
Not enough to save

Those babies.

Who has caused this famine?

Global warming?
Climate chaos?
Sometimes…

But this time,

Wolves remain unblemished
Waves of heat remain peaceful
Wisps of wind remain unchained

Our hands must be blamed.

Indifference
Carelessness.
Reckless hate

You and me
Them and us
All of us.

How can we eat?
How can we drink?
How can we waste?

When babies are silently dying of hunger.

Where are you my brother?
Where are you my sister?
Where am I lost?

Must our hands remain chained
Must our brains remain dazzed
Must our soul remain weighed

By our own lingering hell?
This greed inducing machine!

Unabling us to act righteously
Distracting us from thinking morally
Preventing us from feeling compassion.

If all the chaos settled
If all the roar faded
If all those screens dimmed…

I must believe that

We would stand as one
We would rise as one
We would cry as one :

Not in our name
Not in our watch
Not in our lifetime.

No more.

Didn’t we say it before?

Never again.

The wind scatter frail buds
The heat weakens old barks
Evil feasts deep from the roots.

Leaving desolation

Where a tall forest stood
Where a lush forest grew.
Where a deep forest grew.

Desolation.

Razed to the ground.
Bulddozed into dust.
Flatten beyond recognition.

Utter desolation.

Why do you ask me which tree?

All are linked
As we all are.

All are part of the world
As we all are.

All are spreading
As we all are.

One falls
And we all fall.

And yet,

I feed my baby until she sleeps.
I eat until my stomach is filled.
Even my cat is content…

While those babies starve,
In complete indifference.

Together again

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment
07/04/24

There is an open gate
Waiting for you

There is a softer path
 Waiting for you

There is a blooming garden 
Waiting for you.

For every angry word
I plant thornless roses.

For every bruise on your heart
I plant a deeply rooted tree.

For every day without the warmth of your heart
I plant a fragrant bush.

The pain that boils over
This anger that burns over
The betrayal that rots over

All over those memories
All over those ties
All over those paths

Turning a garden into a furnace.
Wild fires raging through.

Turning an open palm into a fist.
Oil spilling over the ocean.

Turning a healing word into an accusation.
Nuclear waste seeping into the earth.

Breathe in.
Breathe out.

Let the fires die down.
Let pride melt away.
Let your heart open…

Into that luxuriant garden,
That I know.

Into that balmy sun beam,
That I have always known.

Into that dawn chorus,
That I shall always know.

Beyond the veils of a hurt ego.
Beyond the roar of a broken pride.
Beyond the huffing of an unsure heart.

There is a presence.
There is a heart.
There is a boy…

Whose laughter always invite my own.

I shall wait,
Until ashes give way to saplings.

I shall wait,
Until the waste gives way to cornflowers.

I shall wait,
Until the uproar gives way to peace.

The gate will remain open.
The path will remain thornless.
The garden will remain blooming.

And our hands will meet again.
And our laughter will mingle again.
And our hearts will burrow together again.

Together again.

Let spring raise the forest once more.
Let the birds nest in the forest once more.
Let hope echo in birdsongs once more.

It’s a promise,
It’s a plea,
It’s a prayer.

Together again.

A way back

~ Layla ~ 1 Comment
16/02/23
So many voices swirling around
So many sounds dashing about
So many screams darting about

Too much - Too much!

Too many images flashing about
Too many photos lying about
Too many selfies cluttering about.

Too much - Too much!

So many lies published here.
So much slander written there.
So many ideas twisted about.

Too much - Too much!

How can we find rest here?
How can we find peace here?
How can we find solace here?

And yet, we cling on

To those screens
To those devices
To those boxes

Thinking through them
Living through them
Loving through them

And leaving a legacy on it.

Something to be erased
and forgotten.

Something to be discarded
and forgotten.

Something to be shared
and forgotten.

Lost.

So much time wasted.
So many feelings lost
So many words hollowed

Written
Edited
Shared

until it doesn’t mean anything.

Lost in the froth
Lost in the surface
Lost in the illusion

How can they ever swim into 

The velvety depths
The ever moving immensity
The eternal circumambulations

How can they understand it?
How can they feel it?
How can they belong to it?

When they are amused
When they are focused
When they are taken

By the sparkling bubbles on the surface
By the shattering clutter on the surface
By the swirling waves on the surface

Utterly lost to them
Utterly melded to them
Utterly maddened by them

Becoming a host
Becoming a slave
Becoming a servant

Of those little rivulets
of distraction

Of those little droplets
of sensation

Of those little dribs
of devastation

So intensely focused
So deeply encroached 
So utterly enslaved

By nothingness.

Am I one of them?
Will I be one of them?
Are you one of them?

Can we still pull away?
Can we still run away?
Can we still fly away?

Beyond these veils of delusions
Beyond these veils of illusion
Beyond these veils of addiction 

And find our way back

To sanity
To stability
To serenity

Back to

Our Healer
Our Protector
Our Creator

– The Source of it all.

There’s something my heart knows

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment
28/05/22
There’s something my mind knows
that my heart cannot understand.

There’s something my heart knows
that my mind cannot understand.

I look for words
I look for colours
I look for chords

To string together

Those petals
Those feathers
Those tears

And make a necklace
And make a crown
And make a wreath.

I cannot speak any more
I cannot write any more
I cannot sing any more

Without chocking
Without stumbling
Without crying…

Lover of words
Weaver of words
Breather of words

What do I do when words fail me?

I go on
I breathe on
I write on.

This is how I’ve always lived

Before that dark forest
Before that deep chasm
Before that bitter night.

And dawn still comes
And birds still sing.
And flowers still bloom.

There’s something my mind knows
that my heart cannot understand.

There’s something my heart knows
that my mind cannot understand.

So I stay awake
So I stay at war.
So I stay aware…

Of that deep pool of pain.
Of that deep drop of despair.
Of that deep trickling trail.

And I turn to my Creator.

The One that I loved,
before him.

The One that I still love,
after him.

Patience,
Patience,
Patience always.

Perhaps I am not made for Your creatures.
Perhaps I am not made for human beings.
Perhaps I am not made for human love.

Oh I can love,
Your creation.

Oh I can nurture,
Your creation.

Oh I can hold,
Your creation.

But my heart
But my soul
But my wings

Remain my own.

There’s something my mind knows
that my heart cannot understand.

There’s something my heart knows
that my mind cannot understand.

An illusion
A dream
A chimera

that faded as soon as I touched it.

It made me long for,
It made me believe,
It made me hope for,

A soul that understood mine,
A heart that felt mine,
A path that became mine.

Leaving me seeking
Leaving me thirsting
Leaving me burning

For something that never existed.

Why did you trouble my peace?
Why did you break my solitude?
Why did you steal my song?

To scatter me away before my roses could bloom?

Reminding me once more,

That I do not belong here.
That I do not belong to them.
That I only belong to the One.

What must be done

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment

29/03/22

Warm and bitter coffee
Cheerful and nostalgic songbird
Quiet and energetic mornings,

I just go on.
I just keep on.
I just live on.

I simply am.
I simply exist.
I simply fill this space.

Not for you,
Not for the world,
Not even for me.

For the One.

I pick up the book where I left it.
I pick up the song where I left it.
I pick up the pen where I left it.

From where I left it all when you came along.

Is my story still the same?
Is my voice still the same?
Is my poem still the same?

Nothing ever remains.

Even ice must melt and reveal relics of the past.
Even sand must shift and reveal ruins of the past.
Even earth must crumble and reveal threads of the past.

Nothing can remain.

All grows
All withers
And all returns…

In another form.

What of that song I once heard in your silence?

Can I find it buried under that tree?
Can I find it buried in my roots?
Can I find it buried in my poems?

Must I leave it to grow again?
Must I uproot it before it grows again?
Must I leave it to blow, again?

They say weeds who survive the winter have stronger roots.

Difficult to uproot.
Difficult to unearth.
Difficult to dig out.

But what must be done,
Must be done.

Or else…

Think of the blistering cold,
of that winter.

Think of the howling anguish,
of that winter.

Think of the betraying ice,
of that winter,

What must be done,
Must be done.

Tear out the ivy,
Pull out the weeds,
Scatter away crumbling leaves,

So that the rose can bloom again.

My friend, with a glowing heart

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment

27/03/22

There’s a world beyond carefully crafted words
There’s life beyond polished pretty pictures
There’s truth beyond hollow soft quotes

Wild woods teeming with life,
Lively gardens exhaling perfume.
Colorful boughs shivering with songs.

My garden has many 

Seasons
Sounds
Moods.

Flowers come and go
Leaves grow and whither
Birds flit and fly.

Some leave
Some return
Some stay.

And there’s my friend…

With a bleeding heart
With a glowing heart
With a blushing heart.

He whispers
He sings
He tweets

According to the time of the day.

Perhaps he was born in that hedge.
Perhaps he was born in those woods.
Perhaps he was born in that horizon.

But he always returns.

Waxes and wanes.
according to the weather.

Sings and hums,
according to the time.

Lingers and hides,
according to his secret.

In the winter, he brings a colorful banner to the soft white snow.
In autumn he melts with the amber sunsets and golden leaves.
In spring he digs the rich fragrant soil and sings for all to hear.

He comes and go as he please.

For the lady of the woods,

He has a name
He has a language
He has a message.

Who can see?
Who can understand?
Who can decipher?

Ah! To understand the language of birds…

Like Saint Francis
Like Prophet David,
Like Prophet Solomon.

But my friend is not a 

Flamboyant tardy hoopoe 
Mythical hidden bird
Meek needy sparrow,

For, the hoopoe has many duties.
For, the simurgh has many legends,
For, the sparrow has many companions…

My robin has one flightpath 
My robin has one song,
My robin has one lover…

And for many months,
And for many days,
And for many seasons,

He must wait.
He must sing.
He must retreat.

A bird to many,

He is my friend,
He is my charge,
He is my teacher.

He flew in my house,
And taught me letting go.

He disappears from my garden
And teaches me patience.

He will sing cheerful from my tree
And teach me joy.

As I dig and sow,
He whispers to me.

Like a child,
Like a distant poet,
Like a forgotten dream.

As I uproot and cut,
He beckons me,

Like a loyal friend,
Like a far off seer,
Like a passing thought.

As I gather and disseminate,
He cantillates at me,

Like a patient teacher
Like a wander hermit,
Like an evergreen hope.

Will he return?
God’s will.

Will he explain?
God’s will.

Will he stay?
God’s will.

What must be uprooted?
What must be planted?
What must be protected?

Who will tell me…

As I do not understand,

The language of birds.
The turn of the tide,
The pattern of the future.

All I know is what I am taught,

Gentle patience,
Soft resilience,
Joyful contentment.

Dear robin,

Let us sing together.
Let us wait together.
Let us hope together.

And pray.

From the rising star

~ Layla ~ 1 Comment 
It takes more than bitter frost,
To uproot an oak tree.

It takes more than cruel winds,
To pull down a briar rose.

It takes more than acidic rain,
To poison a daisy.

But it doesn’t take much,

To brush off a ghost,
To pull away a weed,
To burn off a bridge.

If you ever look over your shoulders,

You will see…

A star piercing through the night
A nightingale flying through the storm,
A tree reaching for the infinite beyond.

You will see

Something you can never be.
Something you can never have.
Something you can never keep.

Something,

So free,
So feral,
So fierce…

That it will burn off your eyes.

Eyes that lie
Eyes that hide
Eyes that stray.

Well the, by all means, stray…

Take that path to the pit.
Take that path to the ridge.
Take that path to the distance.

I will keep the gems
in the pebbles you gave me.

I will keep the truth,
in the lies you gave me.

I will keep the smile,
in the tears you gave me.

And I will rise higher,

Than the mountains you claimed to love
Than the stars you claimed to love,
To God that you claimed to love.

And shine brighter,

in His Love
in His Peace
In His Protection.

How far will you bear that heavy conscience you carry?
How far will you bear that heavy stone heart you carry?
How far will you bear that heavy lie that you carry?

I hope,
I pray,
I say,

You will find peace
You will find truth
You will find solace,

Within yourself.

And grow,
And glow,
And go…

To be a better man.

The Fragrance of the Last Autumn Rose

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment
22/10/21
Too warm for autumn,
Too cold for spring,
I am like a lost tree leaf.

Is it time?
Or is it too late?

The golden season cannot be denied.
The golden moment cannot be denied.
The golden feelings cannot be denied,

A robin told me.

I heard him
I felt him
I beckoned him,

As if as I was trying to see the first signs.

Of a decaying season
Of a bursting season
Of a mournful season,

I heard a soft sigh.

Oh I recognized you
Oh I beheld you
Oh I found you,

My old friends.

You were shy in spring.
You were hidden in summer,
You have returned in autumn.

To keep my winter days colorful.

The first time you came,
I heard your words.

The next time you came,
I saw your gleaming heart.

This time you came,
I saw your earnest gaze.

The teacher told me

Let yourself be seen.
Let yourself be felt.
Let yourself be heard.

And they will come to you.

The robin breathed a serenade,
The great tit bestowed a trill.
The squirrel threw a greeting.

And the garden was filled with leaves
And the forest was filled with colors
And nature was filled with life.

Oh the fragrance of the last autumn rose!

Softer than spring,
Deeper than summer,

And so delicate…

Thriving in last nights’ tempest.
Growing in last nights’ cold.
Sweetening last nights’ bitterness.

My sweet.
My miracle,
My hope.

Does this deep peace in my heart trickles from you?
Does this deep joy in my heart trickles from you?
Does this deep love in my heart trickles from you? 

Are you finally at peace, my love?

Are we both wrapped,
Are we both protected,
Are we both inter-rooted

Together,

In our Creator’s peace.
In our Creator’s glow
In our Creator’s love?

Tell me,

without a word
without a click
without a quote.

Tell me,

with a glance,
with a smile,
with a grasp.

Tell me.

Trust To Return

~ Layla ~ Leave a comment
28/08/21
To the sparrow
In the morning,
I trust you.

To the violets
In the spring,
I trust you.

To the wandering knight,
In the night,
I trust you.

To my Lord,
In every heartbeat,
I trust you.

To love a flickering feather
To love a withering flower,
To love a wayfaring stranger,

Is to trust.

Trust,

that you will return.
that you will bloom.
that you will stay.

And how do I trust my Creator?

In trusting His Timing,
In trusting His Planning,
In trusting His creatures.

The windows are open,
Curtain billowing.

The doors are open,
Candles flickering.

The arms are open,
Heart fluttering.

Do I trust you?
Do I love you?
Do I believe you?

You,

who is gone but remain.
who is there but is here.
who is with me but with her.

But does she even exist?

Or, is she a creature of my fear?
Or, is she your open exit door?
Or, is she a passing stranger?

The wind roars and roars.
The house sighs and sighs.
The lone girl sings and sings.

The woods are empty now.
The night is empty now.
The road ahead is empty now.


The friends,
The lover,
The future

are  swept away.

Like golden crunchy leaves,
Like barely ripped acorn,
Like forgotten soft feathers-

The path only remains.

Off and on,
I must go.

Up and down,
I must go.

High and low,
I must go.

But must I flee alone?
But must I sleep alone?
But must I weep alone?

Always alone.

Belonging to none.
Belonging to myself.
Belonging to my Lord.

My Lord,
My Cherisher,
My Creator,

Where must I go?

I never aimed to be a statue.
I never aimed to be an exemplar.
I never aimed to be a banner.

I just wished for arms to hold me.
I just wished for a home to behold.
I just wanted children to hold.

Hold and held.
To be held and to hold.

So very human.
So very natural.
So very simple.

And yet,
Forever out of reach.

For the girl lost on the path.
For the girl lost in the mist.
For the girl lost in the marshes.

Will he find her?

The knight who had to leave?
The king who had to grow?
The seeker who had to find?

Or will he go on…

To another dream.
To another chase.
To another marsh.

Does he know that what he fears

Follows him.
Holds him.
Shapes him.

And he cannot

Shake it.
Lose it.
Break it.

Without facing his dark night.

My love,
My knight,
My sparrow,

I trust you…

To embrace that pain.
To pierce that pain.
To overcome that pain.

And rise again…

And rise,
And fly,
And soar…

Until we meet again.