Up that hill
Up that rock
Up that summit
beyond that winding way
beyond that slithering path
beyond that trailing trail
there are whispers under the pine trees
there are roses under the cedar trees
there are ghosts under swiss mountain pines
If you go up there
You cab lose your way
You can lose your heart
You can lose your years
and wander,
wander and wander.
Until it’s too late to go back.
Until it’s too late to save yourself.
Until it’s too late to keep all your pieces.
Shedding each hope
like leaves.
Dreams trickling down
like rivulets.
Illusion drifting by
like high altitude sickness.
Have you lost your mind?
Have you lost your heart?
Have you lost your soul?
There’s a creature lurking by…
Is it headless?
Is it heartless?
Is it handless?
Something is missing.
But all you can see are
images of a perfect life.
Words of true love.
Quintessence of hope.
Something you try to grasp
But you stumble
But you grumble
But you crumble
Like a snow castle.
It’s so cold now
It’s so silent now
It’s so bright now
The moon reflecting in that white snow.
So bright,
Like big teeth
So bright,
Like a big bite.
So bright,
Like a sinister smile.
There’s no escape anymore…
Count your fingers
Count your toes
Count your hopes
Is it still all there?
And turn back,
and turn around,
And turn down,
And run… Like in that that song.
And run… Like in that saying.
And run… Like in that poem.
Run for your life
Run for your heart
Run for your sanity.
And treasure what is left.
Down in that deep valley
Down in that dark valley
Down in that safe valley,
In that wooden chalet
By that bright fire
Behind that thick door.
Safe.
Count your blessings.
Count your scars.
Count your new skills.
And be glad.
Few are those who return
Unscathed.
Few are those who return
Untainted.
Few are those who return
Untamed.
Be glad.
You survived.
Dear phantom
Dear Ghost
Dear Mirage
Wisp of air
Breath of wind
Tendril of breeze
Fading
Sleeping
Smouldering.
Ashes
To scatter
To bury
To nourish
Deeply anchored roots.
You were but a chirp
You were but a melody
You were but a longing
In the valley of love.
All valleys must be crossed
All mountains must be climbed
All hollows must be weathered.
I wander on…
This new summit was bare and craggy
This new path was drab and slippery
This new valley is silent and misty.
Far from you -
Deceitful illusion
Tantalizing dream
Beautiful delusion;
How very quiet it is
How very lonely it is
How very bitter it is.
In this quietness, there’s a song-
In this loneliness, there is A Presence-
In this bitterness, there is a hue of honey.
In absence…
I am and yet I am not.
New feathers are growing
New wings are aching
New notes are tinkling.
Renewed
Reawakened
Returned
To a new form
To a new hope
To a new mind.
Tired old soul.
Childish young sou.
Unique soul
Belonging
to
the
ONE.
Rome’s on fire
California’s on fire
Portugal’s on fire
and stil,
you call me mad.
They are growing old
those I love the most.
It’s falling apart,
that place I love the most.
It’s scattering away,
that dream I love the most.
Should I say loved,
instead of love?
Should I say gone
instead of going?
Should I say closed
instead of closing?
Keep that last bit of coffee
Keep that last piece of candy
Keep that last final episode
Until it tastes stale
Until it falls in pieces
Until it doesn’t mean anything anymore.
But I know how to say goodbye
But I know how to walk away
But I know how to close the book.
Just don’t want to do it anymore.
Oh that moon is so full
Oh that moon is so bright
Oh that moon is so close.
Nights full of scents
Nights full of songs
Nights full of sighs.
And I’m still here.
Yesterday that field by my home
burnt down.
Yesterday that friend living by my home
moved away.
Yesterday that cup full of memories
broke away.
So many pieces
So many ashes
So many paths
scattered away.
Those dreams were never yours
They were mine.
.
Those tears were never yours;
They were mine.
Those fears were never mine
They were yours.
It is time,
right?
Of course it is…
Look at the birds
and their wings stretched wide!
Look at the stars
and their diverging paths!
Look at their faces
and their unique features!
There’s still so much to uncover.
Listen to the wind in the trees,
Listen to the birds in the boughs,
Listen to your heart in your chest.
And go on.
The garden tells a story
The woods give us wisdom
Nature shows us signs
When the cherries start to drop down
Garlics must be pulled up
St John’s wort will be harvested away.
Summer solstice.
And the robin returns.
And the tits revolve.
And the day stand still.
Longest day.
And I understand
Even if time stands still
it must pass.
Even if the sun burns me
It will fade.
Even if the heat melts me.
I will prevail.
How ethereal is that summer sunset,
Pure gold.
How gentle is that growing shade,
Safe harbour.
How delicious is that evening breeze,
True embrace.
As cliché as it sounds,
all seasons must pass.
As cliché as it sounds,
all joys must pass.
As cliché as it sounds,
all griefs must pass.
On and on.
That ever revolving cycle.
That ever growing tree.
That ever spinning planets.
On and on.
Until the end is decreed by the One.
Look at them,
How they spin through the darkness!
Look at them,
How they grow and scatter through the fields!
Look at them,
How they bloom and whither through the world!
The wonder
The awe
The joy
that keeps on going.
Ever whirling,
Like fleeting seasons.
Ever growing,
Like enduring moss
Ever glimmering,
Like distant stars.
We keep on going.
I dreamt that moment
so many times
I prayed for that moment
so many times
I imagined that moment
so many times.
Curtain lifting
Dawn breaking
Mists rising
You & me
Me & you.
Face to face,
Voice to voice,
Smile to mile.
But you are silent
But you are deaf
But you are gone
And I’m still here.
Loving myself
Holding myself
Keeping myself
Yet, still, yearning for you.
Yet, still, hoping for you.
Yet, still, longing for you.
For you,
Love is longing.
For you,
Love is pain.
For you,
Love is distance.
And I am gone, now.
What I wished
What I hoped
What I craved
Wasn’t to be.
God knows best.
And I wish to love Him
more than you.
And I wish to trust Him
more than myself.
And I wish to find Him
more than a lover.
God knows best.
That man isn’t you.
He spoke like you.
He wrote like you.
He weaved like you.
Pretty words
Pretty prayers
Pretty feelings.
Matching his words with deeds
Unlike you.
Keeping his words light
Unlike you.
Respecting me with his words
Unlike you.
I wish i could write an elegy for you.
But you are still living,
There’s still hope for you.
And for me?
There’s possibility
There’s hope
There’s tomorrow.
Without you
My heart,
breaking
hoping
striving
Without you.
Warm and bitter coffee
Cheerful and nostalgic songbird
Quiet and energetic mornings,
I just go on.
I just keep on.
I just live on.
I simply am.
I simply exist.
I simply fill this space.
Not for you,
Not for the world,
Not even for me.
For the One.
I pick up the book where I left it.
I pick up the song where I left it.
I pick up the pen where I left it.
From where I left it all when you came along.
Is my story still the same?
Is my voice still the same?
Is my poem still the same?
Nothing ever remains.
Even ice must melt and reveal relics of the past.
Even sand must shift and reveal ruins of the past.
Even earth must crumble and reveal threads of the past.
Nothing can remain.
All grows
All withers
And all returns…
In another form.
What of that song I once heard in your silence?
Can I find it buried under that tree?
Can I find it buried in my roots?
Can I find it buried in my poems?
Must I leave it to grow again?
Must I uproot it before it grows again?
Must I leave it to blow, again?
They say weeds who survive the winter have stronger roots.
Difficult to uproot.
Difficult to unearth.
Difficult to dig out.
But what must be done,
Must be done.
Or else…
Think of the blistering cold,
of that winter.
Think of the howling anguish,
of that winter.
Think of the betraying ice,
of that winter,
What must be done,
Must be done.
Tear out the ivy,
Pull out the weeds,
Scatter away crumbling leaves,
So that the rose can bloom again.
And from stillness
And from darkness,
And from littleness,
Springs life again.
To dance again,
To sing again,
To live again
And believe again…
In those silly dreams
In those gentles hopes
In those hushed poems.
But how harsh are those last winter nights
But how cold are those last winter nights
But how hopeless are those last winter nights
Like a feather caught in a thorn
Like a feather caught in ice
Like a feather caught in a web
I flutter gently…
White innocence
Soft perseverance
Light independence.
Belonging to none
but the One who created me.
Beholding to none
but the One who provided for me.
Bespoken to none
but to the One who loves me.
The blazing sun
The sparkling rain
The dutiful winds,
Will untangle me from this woe.
And I will float through the lands,
And I will wing through the tides,
And I will spring through this darkness.
Unabashed
Unattached
Unattainable.
Belonging to my own skin.
Belonging to my own heart.
Belonging to my own soul.
Violets growing in my palms
Roses growing in my breath
Primroses growing in my path.
How fragrant is that deep rich earth when it rains!
Let it rain,
Let it bleed,
Let it break…
Like a miracle on dry land
Like a shoot from a grain
Like a lifeless tired twig.
So that a new life can begin.
And without a bang
And without a spark
And without a shout
starts spring…
Soft hazelnuts droopy flowers
Quiet new sprigs sprouting
Shy yet glad blackbird songs…
Spring,
Is that you?
Winter laid me bare
Winter tore me down
Winter bore me down
The harsh wind tearing down my leaves and tears.
The indifferent icy sky freezing my twigs and hopes
The hard ground ensuring my roots and dreams.
And it’s still so cold.
Yet my heart soars,
as the birds sing.
Yet my heart leaps,
as the leaves spurt,
Yet my heart sings,
as the primroses smile.
Patience,
patience my dear.
After winter
Spring must come.
After nightfall,
Dawn must come.
After death,
Life must come.
Oh the storm shook my nest.
Oh the storm broken my wings.
Oh the storm stole my voice,
Yet, I am still here.
Searching for feathers on the hard ground
Looking for stars in the tumultuous night sky
Seeking for words and meaning in the wind.
Here is the lesson…
In the trees growing new limbs,
In the roses growing new thorns,
In the birds learning new tweets.
My voice will rise again
My wings will grown again
My flight will start again
And I will soar on those memories.
To find a higher clime
To find a higher note
To find a higher perch…
Somewhere safe.
In Your Light.
In Your Safety.
In Your Presence.
Thank you spring,
for returning.
Thank you seasons,
for revolving.
Thank you Creator,
for creating us.
And reminding me that,
My broken wings will mend.
My broken wings will grow feathers.
My broken wings will spread again.
And I am already flying
And I am already reaching
And I am already soaring
Back to You.
As resilient as a winter rose,
As fragrant as a winter rose,
As vibrant as a winter rose,
I keep on growing.
My thorns are soft,
My stem is pliable
My petals are glowing.
Glowing as I keep on growing.
The cold winds slap me,
The hard blue sky freezes me,
The hard frosted ground holds me.
But my petals are like sails,
But my fragrance is like a song,
But my leaves are like wings.
And I fly away
Back to my roots,
Towards my future.
Soaring in the present moment.
This is me,
This was me,
This shall be me.
But the rain trickles,
But the snow seeps,
But the wind rages,
Stealing my pink glow,
Stealing my secret scent
Stealing my soft petals.
Scattering them away…
Winter has its right.
Dusk has its right..
Silence has its right.
Let it be,
Let it go,
Let it flow.
Patient,
Resilient,
Radiant,
Fearless.
Let winter cover me with snow.
Let winter cover me with absence.
Let the winter cover me with neglect.
Spring shall come back.
A bright gauzy dawn,
A gentle birdsong,
A softer breeze…
A wordless hope.
Layla Ali Sultan 